What to do if your child is mentally fragile and loves to cry

Sometimes, we use a person\’s performance to judge his character. For example, some people burst into tears and cry non-stop when encountering trivial things. We generally think of such people as fragile and sensitive. And some people will not cry even if they encounter very sad things. We would call it “strong.” Children also have different personalities, some love to cry, and some often hold back tears. So what is the psychological state behind them crying or not crying, and what are their personality differences? Why do children cry? The book \”Children\’s Emotional Psychology\” points out: Crying is the result of a child\’s behavior, not the cause. We always say that children are simple creatures, they laugh when they are happy and cry when they are sad. Therefore, a child will not cry for no reason. There must be a behavioral reason behind his crying to produce the result of crying. Generally speaking, there are three types of situations when children cry. The first type: Feeling uncomfortable. For example, if my son is scalded by hot water, he will cry. When you are sick and uncomfortable, you will cry in my arms. If my knee is broken, I will cry. This is a physical reason, and the child will cry when he feels uncomfortable. The second type: Bad mood. For example, if a child is scolded, wronged, or sad, he will cry when he is emotionally frustrated and feels uncomfortable. The third type: In order to achieve a certain purpose, some children will cry if you do not meet their requirements and cry until you agree. Or, if you have two children in your family, you will find that one of the children always seems to be \”made to cry\” by the other child. This kind of \”crying\” is actually a child crying to achieve a certain purpose. For example, he \”blackmails\” his parents by crying, or is made to cry on purpose to attract his parents\’ attention. We don’t need to pay too much attention to this kind of situation, otherwise, it will only make the child develop the habit of crying. For the first situation, parents usually attach great importance to it and try to make their children feel comfortable. What is more difficult to deal with is the second type. When a child encounters sadness, should we let him cry loudly? Recommended books on children\’s behavioral psychology: How to improve the performance of high emotional intelligence (all four volumes epub+mobi+azw3) Holding back from crying will affect your personality throughout your life. We may be more tolerant of girls when it comes to crying. Because girls are inherently emotional, when a girl wants to cry, we generally don’t stop her. But for boys, we will consciously reduce the number of times he cries. Because in our consciousness, a boy must be strong. If he cries when something happens, how can he become a brave man? But in fact, boys and girls are the same. If it is for emotional reasons, we will do more harm to the boy by not allowing him to cry. Because crying is an outlet for emotions, and emotions are like water in a dam. When children have emotions, we close the gate again and again and do not allow them to vent. The emotional water will accumulate more and more, and when it breaks out one day, it will burst like a flood and be out of control. Not only that, the child tried not to cry again and again, but he actually suppressed his sadness deep in his heart again and again. Over time, these wounds will turn into scars, which will affect the child\’s personality throughout his life. Therefore, those children who cry whenever they want, and those who hold back tears when something happens, will produce problems in many ways.difference. Let\’s look down. There are big differences in 3 aspects. When a child encounters something particularly sad but behaves extremely calmly, we should not think that he is born \”strong\”. He just didn\’t know how to express his inner sadness and looked \”very strong\”. Such children, compared with those who love to laugh and cry, will have the following differences when they grow up. 1. Different psychological defense mechanisms. You will find that when interacting with people around you, some people are cheerful and generous, and they can easily talk to you when encountering problems. Even if you\’ve only known him for a short time, you can get a rough idea of ​​what kind of person he is. But some people seem to wrap themselves up so tightly that when you interact with them, you can\’t see their innermost feelings. Even if you have known him for a long time, you can never figure out what kind of person he is, and you have never understood his true inner thoughts. This is the difference in psychological defense mechanisms. People who have been allowed to vent their emotions since childhood are generally willing to show their emotions to others. Such people live a more straightforward and casual life. Children who have been asked to hold back their tears and put away their sadness since childhood will usually habitually cover up their emotions with indifference and numbness. Because he feels that showing his emotions is not allowed, is dangerous, and will lead to criticism. Over time, this type of children develop a stronger psychological defense mechanism and will habitually hide their emotions from outsiders. 2. If parents with different personalities are too strong and scold or accuse their children when they see them crying, this will make the children timid and fragile. In the future, they will either not be able to bear it and cry when they encounter a small thing; or they will behave indifferently even if they encounter a big thing. Children who can express their feelings from an early age are more capable of bearing it. When they encounter something, they will have normal reactions. They will cry when they should cry and laugh when they should laugh. 3. Different emotional feelings. In psychology, there is a term called \”pendulum effect\”. It means that people\’s positive emotions and negative emotions will be symmetrical like a pendulum. If a person feels strongly about negative emotions, he will also feel strongly about positive emotions. On the contrary, if a person cannot feel sadness, or does not know how to express sadness, then it is difficult for him to feel happiness, and he does not know how to express happiness. It\’s like a pendulum. If it swings higher to the left, it will swing a similar arc to the right. If the pendulum doesn\’t swing very much, it will stop in the middle and people won\’t feel the emotion. Therefore, when a child can express his feelings freely, his emotional perception ability is often very strong. He knew whether he should be happy or angry at the moment. As for a child who habitually suppresses his emotions, his ability to perceive emotions will become weaker and weaker. He didn\’t know whether to cry or laugh, be angry or sad when faced with different scenes. These two types of children will also have huge differences in how they feel the emotions of others when they grow up. That is what we call different levels of emotional intelligence. Therefore, when we face children\’s emotions, we should not deliberately not allow them to cry in order to cultivate their strong hearts. This may only be counterproductive and make the child more retarded and vulnerable. People who feel emotions strongly are more able to understandExperience the love and beauty of life. They know how to be proud and happy about themselves, and how to vent their emotions when they are sad. Then in the positive emotions, improve the ability to resist negative emotions, so as to truly become strong and brave. Psychologist Freud said: \”For people who are good at releasing and regulating their negative emotions, their spiritual world is very healthy and strong.\” Crying, like smiling, is a way of expressing emotions. Appropriate crying can release the negative energy and negative emotions in people\’s hearts. Therefore, it is not a bad thing for children to cry. Compared with children who \”hold back from crying\”, it is better for their mental health. Parents are asked to be more patient when their children cry. Allow the child to release his emotions and guide him to learn to manage his emotions. Only in this way can the child grow better.