What\’s the harm in forcing children to say hello?

\”When you meet your aunt, take the initiative to say hello to her.\” \”Hurry up and say hello to grandpa and grandma.\” I believe that whether you were a child or your child now, you have been forced to say hello to various elders and relatives. Many parents will say that when they meet someone they know outside or have guests at home, they must call their children over to say hello. If you don’t teach your children etiquette when they are young, it will be even harder to teach them when they grow up. If you encounter some children who are afraid of strangers or shy, and are forced by their parents to say hello, the children will purse their lips and shrink back. At this time, parents will feel extremely embarrassed, and may even feel that they have not taught their children well, and may also feel, \”Why is this child so rude…\”. Forcing children to say hello with these \”Chinese politenesses\” is actually very harmful, and some may have a negative impact on the children and be detrimental to their own growth. Why don’t children like to say hello? China has always been a country of etiquette, and many people are instilled with various etiquettes in treating others at a very young age. In the minds of many people, it is polite to take the initiative to say hello. If you don\’t speak or greet someone when you meet, it means you are not \”educated\”. Therefore, in life, almost all children have been forced to say hello. Some children do not want to say hello, or are in a bad mood and do not listen to their parents, so they will be labeled as \”timid and shy, and do not like to call others.\” So, why don’t children like to say hello? Is it natural to like or not like to say hello? The latest and most complete 2023 [Kindergarten, Junior High and High School] premium VIP course catalogs from famous teachers in various disciplines on the entire network, click to view now! 1. Is it natural that I don’t like to say hello? We know that personalities can be divided into introverts and extroverts. Children who don’t like to say hello are largely influenced by their personalities. However, introversion is only a characteristic of your personality, not a shortcoming. Introverted children are generally well-behaved and are the type that teachers like most in school. Children with this personality are emotionally stable, shy and don\’t talk much, have a strong sense of responsibility, are emotionally delicate and considerate, and have a natural sense of wariness towards strangers. Faced with such a child, if the parents still force him to say hello, he will go through a painful struggle in his heart. Forcing an introverted child to say hello can easily destroy the child\’s instinctive inner safety boundaries. 2. Being afraid of strangers means that children are protecting themselves. Different children have different manifestations of \”fear of strangers\”. Some children will become very clingy, some will be unwilling to speak, and some will be stimulated by uneasy emotions. Crying loudly… Think about it, six months after the child was born, was there any fear of life? Some parents may feel puzzled. In the past, their children could be held by anyone, but now they have become so shy and shy. It is normal for children to show a certain degree of \”fear of strangers\”. This is because children\’s cognitive level has developed to a certain stage and they can distinguish between acquaintances and strangers, so they will feel a sense of distance in front of strangers. The vigilance mentality that children develop in the early childhood stage of 0-6 years old is their innate ability to protect themselves. Through this ability, they gradually learn to distinguish and trust others. Many elders prefer cheerful and lively children. When they see children who are \”shy of life\”, they will use negative words to express their preference.Or say in a negative tone: \”This child can\’t speak\”, \”This child is too introverted\”… These negative suggestive languages ​​may bring psychological burden and shadow to sensitive children. If you were a child and were evaluated like this, how would you feel? What should parents do when faced with a reticent child? Regardless of whether the child says hello or not, we adults should not and have no right to label our children as \”shy of strangers and introverted\” at will. We should not blame children without saying hello, and compare ourselves to others. As an adult, you will feel uncomfortable if you are humiliated in public. As parents, how can we bear to impose this kind of humiliation on our children? If a stranger talks about the child, the child will ignore it at most. When seeing the person he is most dependent on and closest to treat him in the same way, the child will feel guilty in his heart. Is he really wrong? So, how should parents scientifically guide reticent children? 1. Use a positive attitude to protect your children. Children who don’t like to say hello are often very sensitive. When faced with such children, parents need to be more patient. The first thing parents have to do is to correct their own mentality and understand and accept this personality trait of their children. Don\’t force your child to say hello, and don\’t focus on your child\’s social \”weaknesses\”. This will only make your child more and more afraid of social activities. Parents are their children\’s first teachers, and children need time to observe or imitate adults. Every time when going out to greet acquaintances, parents must set a good example and show their children how to contact and greet others. Every move you make will be silently remembered by your child under the influence of the absorptive mind. At the same time, the most critical point is to stand on the side of the child and use a positive attitude to protect the child when others imply that the child does not say hello. You can respond to others in a friendly way: \”It\’s not that the child doesn\’t like to say hello, he just doesn\’t want to talk now. He will say hello when he is ready.\” 2. Correctly guide the child\’s sensitive period in interpersonal relationships. 3-5 years old is the sensitive period for children\’s interpersonal relationships. , this period of time is really important for children. They need adults’ understanding and even more skilled help from adults. As the child grows up, parents may find that the 3-year-old child is very generous and generous. He will be happy to share his delicious and fun things with his friends as long as his friends come to ask for them. When children are 4 years old, they will take the initiative to take their favorite toys and exchange each other\’s toys with other children. The children become good friends by exchanging things. When a child is about 5 years old, he or she has a few fixed friends around him. They have common hobbies, like to play common games, and have a fixed partnership. Children around the age of 5 hardly need their parents to come forward to solve problems they encounter in the process of interpersonal communication. They are capable of solving them on their own, and they also pay special attention to the attitude of their friends. Sometimes you will even feel sad for a long time because the other person says \”I don\’t want to play with you anymore.\” Children will go through these three stages during the sensitive period of interpersonal communication between the ages of 3 and 5. No matter at which stage, parents must respect and understand their children. with the right attitude,Guide children to think independently and solve problems in their own way. Children must abide by two principles in their own way: first, be polite, cooperate with children, and learn to communicate and share. The second is to abide by the rules, be able to express one\’s wishes and attitudes in appropriate ways, and be neither humble nor arrogant. Under this principle, adults should keep their mouths shut, let go of their hands, and let children solve problems in their own way. So, stop forcing your children to say hello. Preaching is worse than words. Use your actions to set a good example for your children. Children will naturally become polite as they are nurtured over time.