What\’s your mood? What\’s the fate of your child?

Some time ago, a piece of news suddenly hit the hot searches: half of the students in the class scored 100 points, but my son only scored 98 points, and my mother suffered from depression! The mother mentioned in the news always has a standard of 100 points for her son. Sometimes children who score 98 points on the exam are scolded. In April this year, her son only scored 72 points in an exam. Her mother was so disappointed that she left a suicide note and took half a bottle of sleeping pills in preparation for suicide. Fortunately, he was discovered in time and his life was saved. Later, it was diagnosed that my mother had suffered from severe depression. But in the comments on the news, netizens expressed overwhelming sympathy for the child. Famous psychologist Wu Zhihong said: Children are the receivers of parents\’ emotions. When parents are uneasy, children will immediately become alert. When parents relax, children feel immediate pleasure. Children have a natural sense of dependence and a sense of security on their parents. In this kind of mentality, children will be more cautious when facing their parents\’ emotional changes. When parents are in a good mood, children will be more willing to express their inner thoughts and have the courage to contact the outside world. When parents are emotionally unstable, children tend to have low self-esteem and are sensitive. He will think that he has done something wrong to make his parents unhappy, and when he grows up, he will habitually do things based on other people\’s faces. Never underestimate the power of emotions. I was on the phone with my sister a few days ago. She said distressedly that because her child’s test scores were not satisfactory this time, she couldn’t help yelling at him. But the difference is that after being yelled at this time, my nephew didn\’t cry or make a fuss. He just became stubborn and didn\’t talk to me for two days. I don’t know what to do. I feel that the older my child grows, the less I know what he is thinking. In fact, the child\’s silence is just a manifestation of being hurt after being yelled at. Actor Joe Chen once said in a reality show that he spent his entire childhood in fear. Because her mother was never satisfied with her test scores and was often beaten and scolded, her relationship with her mother was not very good since she was a child. Under her mother\’s long-term strict education, Chen Qiaoen was very withdrawn and autistic in her early years. She described her mother\’s footsteps as \”the devil\’s voice.\” I was even scared to turn off the lights and go to sleep. I even liked to go to the cemetery and read other people’s lives on the tombstones to relieve my fear. Because of bad memories from childhood, Chen Qiaoen has always felt insecure. When talking about her mother, she said frankly: \”She never dared to hold her mother\’s hand before she was 20 years old. Although she has grown up now, the gap between her and her mother is still insurmountable. .\” So even when it comes to variety shows, she and her mother have almost no communication during the whole process. But in the heart of Chen Qiaoen\’s mother, the starting point of her anger towards her daughter is to love her children. \”Mom must love her children very much, and I am no exception.\” But I didn\’t expect how much damage my own education method would cause to my children, and the gap between me and my children could never be bridged. Behind these seemingly good things for the children, they are actually the venting of the parents\’ inner emotions, which is even more of a disaster for the children. A child psychologist once said: \”Parents\’ emotional violence is fatal to a child, and it will affect the child\’s lifelong character and personality development.\” Let the children pay for the parents\’ bad emotions., is the biggest tragedy for a family. Don\’t underestimate your influence on your children. Every word and deed of parents will become a lever to promote their children\’s lives. If they want their children to feel more secure and emotional, parents must first achieve emotional peace. Only when parents remain calm and calm can children have the confidence to deal with setbacks and treat the world with tolerance. Emotional stability is the best education for children. Many people were fans of Jiang Tianhao in the popular TV series \”Pi\” some time ago, but what is even more impressive are his parents. When he reached middle age, he suddenly went bankrupt, his store was transferred, and his mansion was mortgaged. But when his son Jiang Tianhao asked his parents how much debt the family owed, Father Jiang just said calmly: \”It\’s just over 100 million.\” Mother Jiang was also very calm: \”It is natural to pay back debts. We will pay back these debts little by little. Work hard to pay it back.\” When two people over fifty years old talked about the family changes with their children, they did not blame others or give up on themselves. Instead, he used a tenacious, optimistic and stable mood to give his son a strong confidence, allowing him to grow rapidly. So Jiang Tianhao went to class during the day and studied business at night. He also opened an online store with his friends, and established Haotian Kitchen, trying every means to reduce the burden on his family. In this way, with his own efforts, he changed from a big boy who relied on his parents to a little adult who could rely on his parents. Therefore, classmate Lin Miaomiao also envied Jiang Tianhao for having emotionally stable parents. Parents who are in good mood give their children more security and happiness, and their children will also have a stronger sense of trust in the world. John Gottman, the master of interpersonal relationships, also said: The ability to perceive and control emotions is even more important than IQ. These abilities determine a person\’s achievements and happiness in all areas of society, including family happiness. What kind of emotional control a child has and what kind of life he will have are closely related to his parents. Only when parents are emotionally calm is the greatest education for their children. Parents\’ ability to handle emotions determines their children\’s future. But in reality, parents may face more work pressure, day-to-day housework, and trivial matters among relatives and elders. Many times, the starting point is obviously good, but once the emotions get the better of you, you can\’t control your temper and lose your temper towards your child. When I calmed down, I secretly regretted it when I saw the child\’s aggrieved face, but I still couldn\’t control it next time. How can a child grow into a person with good character when faced with parents who are often emotionally out of control? When the famous program host Dong Qing became a mother for the first time, she was confused about educating her children until a friend reminded her. \”What kind of person do you want your child to become? It\’s very simple. What kind of person do you want to be?\” Dong Qing had an epiphany and said to himself: \”I should work hard to make myself better so that my child can truly understand in the future. When you are young, you should have love and respect for your parents, and you can learn some good qualities from your parents.\” Excellent parents should never stop moving forward. No matter what difficulties you face, stay calm and calm. While accompanying your children to grow, you can become better yourself. Parents can only manage themselves wellOnly by controlling their emotions can children manage their own lives. If the mother at the beginning of the article saw not only her child\’s achievements, but also her child\’s efforts and future growth space, she might be able to look at raising children more rationally, and she would be able to come to terms with herself. We must admit that parents are not gods and will have their own limitations and shortcomings. Even if we are not perfect and have many minor problems, as long as we are responsible for our emotions and do not give up growing with our children, I think this is the best gift that parents can give their children.