When a child is bullied, the most terrifying thing is the parents losing control

In the past few days, many friends have pushed the same video to me, wanting to ask my opinion. It was in an amusement park. A boy about 1 year old was stepped on by a little girl who was a few years older. The boy\’s mother was angry and insisted on the little girl\’s apology in person. The little girl\’s mother tried to explain one after another to no avail. . The next scene got out of hand, and several parents who participated in the persuasion had conflicts with the mother. To be honest, the first time I watched it, I felt uncomfortable and the negative energy was too strong. Because out-of-control emotions always make people feel like a flame that makes people afraid to approach. However, the root of the conflict reflected behind the incident is worth exploring. I don’t think we can blame too much for this emotionally out-of-control mother. Because every mother is willing to risk her life to protect her children. It\’s just that sometimes, I am controlled by the devil of emotions and lose control. Luckily the kids are okay. I think after calming down, this out-of-control mother should be able to reflect on the inappropriateness of her behavior. As parents, they will definitely put themselves into this situation. \”What would I do if my child encountered this kind of bullying? What should I do?\” This is a question that many parents will face directly. The key to this issue is actually a question of education. One is the upbringing of the child, and the other is the upbringing and attitude of the parents themselves. Take this incident at the amusement park. We can clearly see that this little girl is somewhat aggressive. Even when the adults asked her to apologize, she still pushed the boy behind her. The girl\’s mother kept apologizing unhurriedly, as if she was still explaining that her child would behave like this when excited. Both parties are trying their best to protect their children, but in different ways. But contradictions arose. If the child\’s behavior shows aggressive tendencies, the parents will not provide educational guidance. This child is very likely to have problems getting along with other children. If a child falls on the ground, he or she will not help him. He may just step on him regardless. The child in front blocked the way. Instead of giving in, he pushed directly with his hands. At the beginning, for example, when a child is one or two years old, he does not know the word harm. Because they have been protected. They pounded the table and thumped their toys. He even catches his parents when he is unhappy. Some old people saw their children fall to the ground. He even stomped the ground in front of his children. He said it was Di\’s fault that it hurt the baby. The child scratched himself and said it didn\’t hurt, laughing loudly. Parents must tell their children not to hurt anyone. So when your child grabs you and hits you for the first time. You can tell your child that you are in pain and feel uncomfortable. When the child came face to face with another child on the path. Guide your children to give in and don\’t push. This education is so important. I remember that every time my son climbed the wide guardrail beside the stairs in the park. Sometimes I encounter other children coming from the opposite direction. He once even wanted to push a young lady away. It\’s dangerous to be up there. I quickly grabbed him and told him seriously about the dangers and possible consequences of this matter. Education on these matters cannot be careless in the slightest. Try to raise a kind child with a sense of rules. Because if you don’t educate your child, someone will educate him severely. At onceA few days ago, I slapped my son\’s palm three times hard. This is considered a very serious punishment in our family. That day we were still one-on-one, playing fighting games with him and his little cousin. The two of them worked very hard and tried their best to \”fight\” me. When I fight with them, I always fight very seriously. So they like to fight me because they find it interesting. As a result, the son, who couldn\’t win, used his teeth in desperation. There was a red mark on my arm. What if I went to the kindergarten and bit other children? For such a situation, we must not pamper him, punish him when necessary, and show no mercy. I remember that the son of a colleague of mine bit a little girl in kindergarten. The little girl’s father went over and slapped his colleague’s son on the spot. No one thought that this father would do this. But the slap hit the child\’s face loudly. Later, the two families quarreled for a long time before giving up. Because we cannot predict what kind of conflicts our children will encounter. It is even more unimaginable how parents who encounter their children being hurt would react. Therefore, what we can do is to let children have a sense of rules. Ability to control oneself, protect oneself, and not harm others. Speaking of which, I would like to share a method for cultivating rule awareness, which is very effective for boys. That is to say, the fighting game mentioned above requires fathers to appear. Because of the simple preaching, even if the children listened at the time, they would forget it quickly afterwards. Psychologists have long thought about a question: Why do fathers and sons always like to fight or even fight together? From my personal experience, this is indeed the case. If I am lying on the bed reading a book or scrolling through my mobile phone. The son will climb up with a smile as if he saw a treasure. Be sure to wrestle with me or play by crawling on me. I think it\’s pretty good, although it\’s annoying to be disturbed sometimes. But the gain is even greater. Not only can you relax yourself, but more importantly, you can teach your children a lot of things. Psychology has found that what boys learn from fighting with their fathers has far-reaching significance for their future growth. Playing with dad can help children understand the rules. So when fighting with our son, we must first establish rules. For example: no weapons are allowed, including small sticks and toy guns. You can\’t hit the head, face, chest, or crotch yet… At this time, in order to start the war early, the children will agree. And remember the rules, if you commit a foul, stop the fight immediately and re-emphasize. And sometimes children are too harsh. You can take the opportunity to talk to your children about \”hurt\” and \”pain.\” I remember one time, my son kicked me in the face with his foot, and I felt stars in my eyes. I just lay there acting miserable. Ask him to call 120 and ask a doctor for emergency treatment. At that time, the little guy was frightened and kept saying that he didn\’t know how to make a phone call. I said let\’s take a rest and see if it feels better. Why don\’t you rub it for me? He rubbed it gently. After a while, I went to get a wet towel and put it on. I asked him to hold it for me, but he kept taking care of me. With this lesson learned. He wouldn\’t be so reckless. I also remind him when he plays with other friends. Be careful, don\’t bully youEven if you are young, you should protect yourself. When faced with conflicts between children, adults must never take action. Many people will say that there are too many naughty children today, and they must be taught a lesson. But please put away your raised hand and leave the child to his own parents for education. Because adults\’ violent intervention often makes things worse. I remember when I was a kid, a relative\’s child in our family had a fight with a child in the village. The relative went to help and scolded the boy. Unexpectedly, the boy also had a bad temper and cursed him directly. She slapped him directly, causing the child\’s face to become swollen. That boy\’s parents are not easy to bully. That night, the child was sent to a relative\’s house, saying that he had suffered a concussion and needed hospitalization and compensation. In the end, the two families struggled for a month. Finally, after mediation by the village, a sum of money was paid. Conflicts between children must be viewed calmly. Once an adult takes action, it\’s out of control. Moreover, the child’s psychological feelings should be taken into consideration. When emotions come up, everyone is likely to become the \”out-of-control mother\” in the playground. It turned out that the little guy was bullied and was still uneasy. His mother lost control of her emotions again and started fighting with people around her. Roaring hysterically, the child was frightened. Remember, your children are watching. Have you considered the psychological impact on your child? Mencius said, \”Old people are like the old people, young people are like the young people.\” Take care of your own children first, and then treat other people\’s children well. There will be a lot less conflicts like this.