When a child is least cute, it is when he needs your love the most

I remember one day at noon. I just had to go out to run errands and asked my son to take a nap in his room. Before, I usually slept with him. Because of the holiday, a little aunt was playing with him at our house. So at noon I am usually so excited that I don’t want to sleep. Before I hurriedly went out that day, I went to his room to see if he was asleep. He sat alone on the edge of the bed, not talking or making any noise. When I saw that he was still awake at this hour, I got very angry. Just ask him why he doesn\’t sleep? He didn\’t say either. I began to reason, saying that sleeping is something every child should do, otherwise they will not grow taller. If you don\’t sleep yet, you are not following the rules, etc. While I was chattering, my son whispered to me: Dad, I want to sleep with you. Hearing this sentence, I suddenly lost all my anger. I feel that the principles I preach are all from the perspective of a superior father. He had never asked him what he thought. At this time I knelt down and picked him up. I said to him, \”That\’s it! But dad has to go do something. Look, these documents all need to be stamped by dad.\” At this time, he snuggled tightly into my arms and looked at the document bag next to me. . \”Dad will be back in an hour. You go to your bed and fall asleep now. Dad will wake you up when he comes back later, okay? If dad doesn\’t work tomorrow, he will sleep with you.\” At this time, he nodded and silently Climbed onto his bed. I closed the door gently for him and said, wait until dad wakes you up, then go to sleep. When I came back later, he was sleeping soundly. If I had lost my temper, I think he would have had nightmares. And parents’ uncontrollable bad tempers are just endless nightmares for their children. Some time ago, a short video of Chen Xiaochun being tutored by his son while being cruel to him went viral. That day he was taking his son Xiaochun at the beach, when someone announced something. The little guy was playing there with a tweeter, and he was screaming excitedly. Others signaled the child to be quiet to no avail. The father got angry at that time and asked him fiercely why he did this? The child was confused and confused, so he took him away from the scene. But he was still angry in his heart. A man was walking straight ahead, and his son was following behind, wandering behind. He urged loudly from time to time. Dad\’s emotions are so obvious that the little child has already felt them. Just say to dad, \”Can you not be angry?\” But dad is not someone who won\’t be angry if you say you are not angry. Many dads seem to be born to be angry. Who told you to be disobedient? This is a reason dads take for granted. In the end, the son was even slower when he walked back across the steps, and he was far behind his father. At this time, Chen Xiaochun yelled, \”Hey! What\’s wrong with you, hurry up!\” The child then seriously said to his father, \”What\’s wrong with you?\” \”Can you stop being angry?\” This kind of conversation made the child furious. Dad was instantly awakened. Realize your emotions and apologize to your child. Chen Xiaochun said that he would never forget such a conversation in his life. As a father, I think he will never forget it. Because the child has made him reflect hard. Only parents who actively reflect and are willing to make changes can gain the love of their children. I remember there is a saying: \”Any unlovable behavior isCalling for love. \”This is even more true when it comes to children: when a child is least cute, it is when he needs love the most. How does a child feel when he makes a mistake? A mother once shared: When playing in the play area, my son He ran over crying and said that someone pushed him and he almost fell off the slide and was frightened. The little boy who pushed him hurried over and said to me nervously: \”Auntie, I didn\’t mean it… …\” Looking at the two children, I suddenly realized: they are so helpless! Those who were bullied felt wronged, and those who made mistakes felt fearful. When they came to me, they just hoped that I could give them love instead of telling them: You are wrong. I reached out and hugged my son, gave up my previous preaching of \”men don\’t cry\” and \”be brave\”, and just told him: \”Mom is here. \”I touched the little boy\’s head again: \”It\’s okay, don\’t be afraid. \”Soon, my son stopped crying, took the initiative to leave my arms, and the two of them ran away holding hands. But too many of our parents like \”rough and simple\” methods. For example, yelling and losing temper to make the child feel Shock, and then surrender and obey. Or use a bunch of truths to make the children feel guilty, and then be obedient. Many children who retain their individuality are able to resist at first and lose their temper. Use these to express their emotions and feelings, At the same time, it expresses a fear: Does my mother dislike me anymore? What I did made her so angry. Every child who gets into trouble is nervous inside. They will hide or find some reasons to excuse themselves. Why You must force them to accept your so-called facts. In many cases, it is just a deviation in behavior, not a stain on character. What parents can do is to see their children’s need to be loved and paid attention to, and Tell your child clearly: I love you, you are cute, and you deserve to be loved. This love is unconditional. Many times, children just need a comfort or a hug from you. Every time a child makes a mistake, it is the best educational opportunity. Whenever a child makes a mistake, do you give him a scolding or give him a loving education? Can you truly stand from the child\’s perspective and try to understand the child\’s behavior? For example, there is a stubborn and sensitive period that cannot be bypassed. Two or three Children who are 2 years old have entered a sensitive period of stubbornness. This means that everything must be done according to his thoughts and intentions, otherwise his mood will change drastically, he will lose his temper and cry. A few days ago, a mother left me a message saying that she was two years old. My son is not as obedient as before. He has to do everything by himself, and if someone does it for him, he will get angry. For example, if he wants to get the water glass by himself, if someone takes it, he must put it back and pick it up again. The father of the child feels Children are spoiled, and they have to be aggressive every time, but the child still goes his own way. In fact, this is caused by a lack of correct interpretation of the child\’s behavior. If the child asks for this, try to satisfy his inner sense of order. Instead of going Deliberately changing and controlling their children. When the children are older, one of the most painful things for parents is that their children do not listen to the truth, but instead make mistakes knowing they are wrong. We always see some impatient parents describing themselves to their children with sincerity. The life path they planned. Some fathersJack Ma and Ren Zhengfei started talking about how they succeeded. Then tell the children to study hard, otherwise they will achieve nothing. As a result, the children were either thinking about their own things, but superficially they were listening. Or just play on your phone, nodding your head to deal with it. If a barrier has been built between father and son, it is useless to say anything. Because you have been living in two worlds. When a father who has countless headaches becomes emotionally moved towards his erring child and tries to reason with him, the most common thing the child says is: Now that you know how to take care of me, where were you? Why don\’t you care? Did you do it right yourself? Many dads lower their heads and say that they really haven\’t done enough. Because after careful consideration, many problem children are caused by problem families and problem parents. Education is never a process of reasoning. It does not mean that children can understand the truth through reasoning. It’s about companionship and growth. The growth here includes the growth of the parents themselves, because it starts from the moment they hold their children. Our practice as parents has just begun. When children are young, we are their gods, and this is when they trust their parents the most. Parental love and acceptance will make children feel loved and respected. Parents should thank their children. They are the most precious gifts of life. They come into our lives not for us to educate them, but for us to become better versions of ourselves. So when I picked up the child who was not understood, I was actually holding my own anxious heart and giving comfort. That\’s why Jordan Chan felt so deeply: He will never forget that conversation in his life. My dear, do you really cherish this gift from God?