When a child says \”leave me alone\”

Two days ago, after dinner, my daughter was watching cartoons. After I finished my work, I went over to talk to her: \”You can\’t watch this episode after you finish it!\” She didn\’t even raise her head, and didn\’t say anything. I patted her with my hand and she looked up at me. I asked her if she heard me. She said she heard it. I asked again if he heard what I said. She said, you said you can’t watch this episode after you finish it. Now that she heard it, I moved on to something else. Suddenly, a sentence came out of her mouth, \”Can you just leave me alone?\” I was inexplicable. She continued, \”Why do you always take care of me? Don\’t take care of me anymore. I can do whatever I want. I can watch as many episodes of cartoons as I want. I can go to bed whenever I want.\” After listening to this I\’m not angry or sad, I just feel that this child has grown up and has a stronger sense of self. This is not the first time that \”Leave me alone\” has come out of her mouth during these days. She hopes more to do things according to her own wishes. This may be the psychological characteristics of children at this stage. I don’t want to follow some conventional sayings and call a child’s increasing self-awareness a “rebellious period.” Instead, I would like to use a term that is suitable for children. I call it a “growth period.” There is no need to react too violently to the child\’s words \”Leave me alone\”. It\’s not that this little brat is rebelling, but that she has more of her own ideas and needs. There are a lot of subtexts behind \”Leave me alone\”. If you don\’t understand the meaning of the subtext of your child, it will be difficult to communicate with the child, and it will be difficult to achieve the purpose of helping and educating the child. If not done correctly, both parties will be very emotional. In the end, they broke up unhappy and went further and further away. Leave me alone = I want more freedom. Most children say \”leave me alone\” in certain situations. For example, when he is having fun playing with his children, his parents have to take him home; he has not finished watching the cartoon, but his parents have to ask him to turn it off; he has not played enough, and his parents have to make him do his homework. In this case, he wanted to continue what he was doing, but was unable to resist his parents\’ urging, so he said \”leave me alone\” in desperation. The meaning of \”leave me alone\” at this time is, I want to do it, why don\’t you agree? Can\’t I make the decision in this matter? Therefore, head-on confrontation often does not produce very good results, and urging and urging will also cause the child to develop a confrontational mentality. A better way is to express understanding of the child, appropriately agree to his request, and both parties reach a consensus and let the child have the final say. Feel. Leave me alone = Why don\’t you care about me? Some children say \”leave me alone\” not because they want their parents to leave them alone. On the contrary, they want to get their parents\’ attention, or to attract their parents\’ attention. This situation happened to my daughter. She wouldn\’t sleep at night, and repeated urging didn\’t work. I pretended to be angry and said, if you don\’t go to bed, I will go to bed first, and I won\’t care about you. She continued to ignore me, and when I called her in a few minutes, she would get very angry and say, \”Leave me alone, don\’t you care about me?\” At this time, if I continued to be aggressive with her, she wouldn\’t eat at all. This set. Just hold her in your arms and say, \”Why don\’t I care about you? I don\’t care about you, who cares about you,\” and she will go to bed with you obediently.. Some children will deliberately say harsh words when they see their parents not paying attention to them, or do some outrageous behaviors to attract their parents\’ attention. If you know the child\’s daily life better, it is not difficult to judge what the child means. Leave me alone = You don’t know what I think. For other children, especially older children, when they say “Leave me alone”, there may be problems with communication with their parents, or their parents’ daily routine. His behavior made him feel that speaking out about his problems was in vain. For example, some children are wronged at school and hide in the house. Parents are afraid that something will go wrong. If they ask him what\’s going on, he may say, \”Leave me alone.\” When this happens, parents may usually The child\’s behavior makes the child feel that his parents can no longer be trusted and that he has been bullied. If he tells his parents, his parents will either make him swallow his anger or criticize him. It is better not to tell him. Some children feel that their parents’ thinking can no longer keep up with their own. If they tell them, their parents will not only not be able to help solve the problem, but will even create obstacles for them. Not talking is better than talking, and they don’t know how to refuse, so they have to use simple and rude words. A \”leave me alone\”. This situation is more complicated than the previous two situations. Parents need to reflect on their daily interactions with their children, whether they really think about the problem from the child\’s perspective, whether they consider the child\’s feelings, whether they have grown up with their children, and whether they have grown up together with their children. Whether the ideological development can keep up with the children. If not, on the one hand, it means that the children have grown up, and on the other hand, it means that the parents’ education methods are out of date and require continuous learning and improvement. It is not a terrible thing for a child to say \”leave me alone\”. As long as the parents observe carefully and respond actively, it will not have much impact on the child\’s growth. The important thing is that parents should understand their children\’s subtext and act in a targeted manner, instead of simply responding with \”I\’ve turned against you\” or \”I don\’t care about you anymore\”. Parents should be happy when their children grow up, because it means that they are one step closer to flying.