When children enter adolescence, parents must learn to be \”silly and sweet\”

Which stage of children is the most difficult to raise and educate? The answer is probably adolescence. In the process of raising children in the infant and toddler stage, parents are more physically hard and tired, while when facing adolescent children, they are more psychologically weak, tired, angry, and tired. \”Who asked you to enter my room!\” \”Who asked you to touch my things?\” \”Who asked you to take my mobile phone?\” \”Can you please leave it alone and stop nagging me?\” \”You don\’t care. What to do more?\” This is a common language among adolescent children. What happened to adolescent children? Why did it suddenly change from a \”little thing\” to a \”flammable and explosive substance\”? Faced with their adolescent children, parents are anxious, angry and powerless, either scolding or hitting them. They can\’t help but wonder: What happened to their children? Adolescence is a stage between the ages of 10 and 20. The core task of this stage is to form self-identity. Simply put, it is to constantly explore, discover, and determine “who I am”—what kind of person I am, what I have What kind of abilities, what kind of rights do I have, what kind of value do I have. He must complete this task, otherwise he will be very confused when others are already working and will fall behind in the competition. He is like a worker who is rushing to complete the construction of his \”self-building\” within a limited time. Because the construction period is very tight, he will be very angry with anyone who interferes with his process. What parents can do at this stage of adolescence is to give their children more space, more rights, more patience, and more encouragement so that they can complete the construction faster. What can be done specifically? When facing adolescent children, parents must be \”silly and sweet\”. The first one, being stupid, is to learn to act stupid and show weakness. It is said that \”women who act like a spoiled child have the best fortune.\” In fact, parents who act like a spoiled child are more likely to raise smart, capable and capable children. For example, when you get home from get off work, you lie down on the sofa and say: Oh, I’m so tired today. I have to cook, wash and hang clothes in a while. I really don’t know what to do. Who can I do? Come and help me! If parents show a weak and weak state, the children may take the initiative to take on some responsibilities and take on some housework. Another example is when you take your children out to eat on weekends. When you arrive at the restaurant, you tell your children: They don’t know how to scan the QR code, or they can’t see the words clearly. Please scan the QR code to order! Then after dinner, tell the child, \”We don\’t have enough money today. Use your pocket money to pay the bill. You are an adult too. Treat us to a delicious meal today.\” This may seem like pretending to be stupid or showing weakness, but in fact it is giving the child more opportunities to exercise, so that the child will also have a sense of ability, self-confidence and responsibility. He feels that he is being treated as an adult and an equal person. to treat. In this way, he will have more space for self-exploration, and there will be less friction with his parents. The second one is white. When facing adolescent children, parents should be blank, blank, and modest, and often ask their children for advice. Many parents always want to pretend to be smart, always want to show that they are capable and know everything in front of their children. When facing children, they will belittle or belittle them intentionally or unintentionally.They cannot see their children’s growth and progress, and often say: You don’t understand anything, you are still young, you don’t know how, you can’t do it, etc., or they try to use their parents’ past experiences that may be useful or useless. Guidance to children – I have crossed more bridges than you have walked, I have eaten more rice than you have eaten salt, and I am constantly trying to improve my status. In fact, it\’s just the opposite. The more you do this, the more your children can only live in your shadow. Parents must learn to be modest. They must learn to be blank, be open-minded, and constantly ask their children for advice. For example, some parents are also worried that their children will fall in love prematurely, and they will preach loudly when they come up. Children hate being taught in a lecture, guidance, and commanding tone. Parents can say this: I recently heard that my neighbor’s child fell in love prematurely, and I was very worried. What is happening with puppy love? How do you understand it? Do you think it will affect learning? Parents behave as if they don’t know anything, and humbly ask their children for advice. On the one hand, they understand his true thoughts, and on the other hand, they may discuss and discuss the process, and at the same time give him some guidance. In this way, children are more willing to accept it. of. The principle is to leave a blank space, be humble, treat the child as a leader or an expert, consult him, respect him, and give him some rights, dignity and sense of value. Third, sweet. When parents face adolescent children, they must learn to be sweet, encourage them more, and see more of their children\’s strengths. I just mentioned that the task of adolescence is to form self-identity. What parents can do more is to encourage him and often tell him: This place is doing a very good job, which can enhance the child\’s self-confidence and allow him to learn more quickly. to better complete this project. Some parents are just the opposite. They are picky every day. This is not okay and that is not okay. How do you think they have confidence? Can he not resist? Can you not resist? Can I not confront you? In the face of adolescent children, parents should be silly and sweet, which means that parents should encourage more, ask more for advice, respect more, and show weakness more. There is a saying that if a child wants to become an adult, he must step on the corpse of an adult to complete this journey of growth. For parents, adolescence is an unavoidable disaster, and if parents can handle this test correctly, there will be huge transformations and leaps for both parents and children.