When dealing with adolescent children, don’t go in the wrong direction. The parent-child relationship is above all else.

A deputy director of Tongji Hospital, after treating many \”problem\” children, expressed this emotion: \”Whether children have behavioral problems or emotional problems, many of them are related to relationship problems.\” Once, a patient The parents wiped away tears as they recounted their children\’s crimes. I am taking online classes at home, the teacher is taking roll call, and my son is sleeping on the table. After a few curses, my son started slamming doors, losing his temper, and even hitting people in anger. But when the doctor turned around and asked the boy how he would rate his parents, his answer was \”without any merit.\” After leaving the consulting room, both mother and son had cold faces. The boy deliberately kept a meter away from his mother without any communication or interaction. The mother reminded him to eat some bread, but the boy shouted at her: \”I won\’t eat it even if I starve to death!\” There was another boy who was distracted in class and struggled to do his homework when he came home. The parents thought that their son must be sick and that ADHD might be causing these problems, so they anxiously took their son to the hospital. However, after on-site questioning and evaluation, the doctor ruled out physiological causes. The boy\’s various abnormalities are actually a kind of passive resistance. Because his parents want to send him to a primary school that they think is better, but the son is unwilling but unable to resist. After the conflict broke out, the son could only behave badly. Many parents always see that their children have many problems, and are used to pushing the problems and responsibilities onto their children, complaining that their children are disobedient, have a bad temper, and are too difficult to manage. However, they often ignore the importance of the parent-child relationship. 02 When I came home after the surgery for a broken bone, my children would come into my bedroom and lie down on my bed. I said I have broken bones, just let me rest in peace. If you have anything to do, tell your dad. The children say that mom understands us, but dad doesn’t understand us at all and only makes demands. You can chat while lying in bed. Because no one else can replace the relationship between our mother and us. Our mother can give us psychological support and listen to our inner thoughts. We don’t want to talk to our father. What touched me most was that after I returned home from the hospital, I asked my children what would happen to their mother if their father went to work? Both children were willing to take care of me. I repeatedly emphasized that my mother could not take care of herself and had to do everything in bed. The two children said, We are not afraid of getting dirty or tired. Taking care of our mother is what we should do. Now I have experienced my biological child. At critical moments, my child is responsible and loves his mother very much. In the end, I invited my aunt, but the child’s words made me very warm. Nowadays, we are often anxious about our children. In fact, it is actually for the good of our children, but our method is wrong. Demanding, controlling, and ordering make us alienate from our children. I also observed that the child can communicate with his father if necessary and can live on, but there is no close connection with the child. The father is also trying to do everything for his children, but their relationship is not relaxed enough. Although the father tries his best not to make demands on his children, many of his children\’s shortcomings, although he does not say them with his mouth, are not accepted in his heart, and the children can also sense them. I have a good relationship with my children, and sometimes I will say harsh words to them, but they don\’t care at all, and it\’s over as soon as I\’m done. Dad occasionally said it once, and they could remember it for many days. Therefore, when getting along with adolescent children, don’t go in the wrong direction.Relationships are above all else. Only with good relationships can we help and lead our children. If you want to have a good relationship, you have to let go of all kinds of anxieties and ideas, and just pay attention to the child as a person, see the child\’s strengths, and definitely encourage them. For example, last week a mother was worried that her child could not calm down, had no concentration, did not like to study, and loved to play games. I asked my child whether she was able to concentrate when she was playing games. She said she was so focused that she couldn’t even stop shouting for food. Therefore, it is often difficult to distinguish between things and people, which is also the root cause of damaged relationships. Children have the ability to concentrate, but they just need help in learning. Different expression methods have different effects. Usually see more of the children’s strengths and encourage them. Just like my second daughter, I often see that she is very good in life, and I often affirm her children. We have a good relationship with each other, so that we can help our children in learning. The parent-child relationship is above all else. Only when the relationship is good can your children listen to your suggestions and open their hearts.