When dealing with adolescent children, you need to know this truth

After my eldest son entered the first grade of junior high school, he entered adolescence and changed a lot. The first change comes from the emphasis on appearance, starting to pay attention to appearance, clothes and shoes. Especially for shoes, I bought him a pair of brand-name shoes, but he didn’t even try them on, so he made a sound of disgust: “What kind of judgment is this? Can these shoes be worn?” I muttered: “If you don’t want to wear them, keep them. Let mom wear it.\” I went to a shoe store on Saturday and couldn\’t find a pair of shoes after shopping all day. Either the color was wrong, the shoelaces weren\’t right, or the style wasn\’t right, so I had to look for a certain brand\’s special style button. shoe. I was too tired, so I said we don’t care about the price, as long as we like it, we will buy it immediately. He rolled his eyes at me and said, \”Do you think you can get good styles with high prices?\” Well, I went to several shopping malls on Sunday, spent a day shopping, and finally bought it. 02The second change: Pay special attention to the opinions and evaluations of classmates. I used to be very complacent. Before I gave birth to my eldest daughter, I studied psychology for five years and experienced various things from birth to elementary school. I once thought that children had a stable and strong core. When I was in elementary school, she didn\’t care what haircut I had. Instead, she comforted me, saying, \”Mom, don\’t worry about it. Don\’t worry.\” After junior high school, she asked me to cut her hair that day. She said she had a premonition that it would be damaged. I said can we go to the barber shop on the weekend? She said no and insisted on letting me cut her hair. The bangs were cut a little shorter, and now she complained and cried: \”How can I meet people, how do my classmates think of me, and you don\’t consider my feelings. I asked you to cut a little, but you cut so much.\” I was so angry that I didn\’t even eat dinner. No less. I hugged her and said, \”Mom didn\’t consider your feelings. I\’m sorry. Mom broke the haircut. You may be laughed at by your classmates. Mom will never cut it for you next time.\” When the emotion calmed down, I rolled my eyes. , stretched out his little hand: \”Mom, I saved the money for this haircut, right?\” I immediately understood: \”I will give you the money saved, and then compensate for the mental loss, a total of 88, okay.\” The mother-in-law started to hook up. . She began to wonder if her classmates would comment on her hair. I said that you can imitate the comments of classmates, be surprised, or even laugh at what they might say. The two girls acted out various comments from classmates. With various rehearsals in advance and mental expectations, there is nothing to worry about going to school the next day. 03 You need to know this truth: when children reach adolescence, they are more influenced by their peers and classmates. This is the characteristic of adolescent children. Parents\’ early companionship is important, but the influence of parents on their children is a journey. By adolescence, parents have to get off the bus, and children of the same age are the children\’s companions during this period. Children don\’t even care about the teacher\’s discipline, but a word or a look from a peer will affect the child. People are products of their environment. Those who are close to vermilion are red, and those who are close to ink are black. Especially in adolescence, children will be dismissive of their parents\’ discipline. The child will seem to be a different person, and the obedient child before may disappear. Why did Meng’s mother move? Didn’t Mencius’ mother educate Mencius at home? I think Meng\’s mother worked harder than any other mother. Meng\’s mother was also able to accompany and educate her children. But placed in an environment and a group, children will quickly be assimilated. So this is also the reason why Meng\’s mother wants to move. Her mother\’s strength has become less thanThe power of environment. As a mother, I used to have my children ask this and that every day with adoring eyes, and I was satisfied with my narcissism. In the process of fighting wits with my children, I can always make them quietly acknowledge my point of view. But what the children are talking about now is: \”You don\’t understand, and it\’s useless to tell you. Your era was different from ours.\” Yes, I don\’t understand. I\’ve become your fan. Let\’s go to the head office. . As parents of adolescent children, the journey we take with our children is about to change. Let’s get out of the car and let the classmates get on. Let\’s keep our mouths shut, do the logistics, provide food and drink, and still be looked down upon and disliked. Children in adolescence are like time bombs. Don’t be afraid of violent storms. We build a boat in our hearts and let our children ride the wind and waves. Our boat will not collapse. This is the container of psychology. Tolerating children\’s various emotions, attacks, and tantrums is the power of parents\’ growth.