When her child was deeply addicted to the Internet, this mother used three measures to manage him without beating or scolding him

On September 16, 2016, the mother-murder case of Chen Xinran, a 16-year-old Internet-addicted girl in Heilongjiang, deeply touched my heart. I am the parent of a fifth-grade student. While I feel sorry for this girl, I also deeply reflect on my son\’s Internet addiction. My son did well in the final exam last semester. As a fairly liberal parent, I agreed to his request. During the summer vacation, he is allowed to play games for half an hour on weekends, sometimes computer games, sometimes mobile games, as he likes. At the beginning, he could still abide by the rules and only played for half an hour at the weekend. But then I gradually became addicted. I didn’t play on weekends, but played for more than half an hour or even an hour each time. When we are not paying attention or he is alone at home, he will definitely play games online until he is discovered. We changed the password on our mobile phone, and he switched to playing computer games and told him not to go anywhere. Later, the computer password was changed, and he would often pester me to let him play for a while, and would not put it down every time after the time limit. Although he promised not to play again after school started, he couldn\’t control himself at all. Every time I wanted to play but couldn\’t, it was like a drug addiction. I would cry and fuss, burst into tears and runny noses, and would even speak harshly to us. I completely lost the image of the obedient child I used to be. After Chen Xinran\’s case was disclosed, and looking at the child\’s behavior, I finally realized the seriousness of the problem and made up my mind to help him get rid of his Internet addiction. So this time I hardened my heart and did not compromise with him and let him \”play for a while\”. Instead, I allowed him to cry and make trouble enough, and then I started to analyze the problem with him calmly. Fortunately, countermeasures were taken in time to control the situation, and now the results are beginning to show. To help children understand the dangers of Internet addiction, I said to them: \”The reason why I no longer play games for you is because online games are too harmful to a child. Look at yourself. Ever since you became addicted to games, , I want to play as soon as school is over, I start playing as soon as I get up on weekends, I play secretly when my parents are not around, and I cry and make noises when I am not allowed to play, just like a drug addict who is addicted to drugs, if he continues to be addicted , the bright future you once imagined will be ruined.\” \”You can\’t just play for a while?\” The child was unconvinced and felt aggrieved. He wiped his tears while talking. I said, \”It\’s not a question of playing for a while, but the more we play for you, the more addicted you will be, and your studies will become more and more neglected. You forgot that you didn\’t do well in math in fourth grade and quit. Did you study hard to improve your math scores? Do you want to go back to your original form?\” Because what I said was true, the child became silent. So I gave him a few more examples. Jack Ma, who was once the richest man in China, has a net worth of tens of billions. Originally, even if his son did not study or work, but played games every day, he could still live a good life. But Jack Ma banned his son from playing games. Those game designers or game company owners rarely let their children play games because they know best how harmful games are. Look at your own behavior recently. It\’s not that you play the game, but that you are played and controlled by the game. If you don\’t play for a while, you will feel uncomfortable and lose interest in anything you do. Based on our family\’sSuch conditions, if you continue like this, how difficult will your life be in the future? Then I told him about two uncles he knew. \”You see that when they were studying, they often played mobile phones and games, which resulted in extremely poor academic performance. Now that they are working and busy all day long, do you think they still have time to go online, play games and chat on their mobile phones? You should study hard. When you were young, you wasted your studies by playing games, and you couldn’t get into a good university. You have no knowledge or qualifications, and you can’t find a good job. You will definitely be too hard to have time to play with your mobile phone in the future. But if you play less games now and study harder, you will gain more in the future. It’s an easy job, and you can play games for as long as you want.” My child used to be an idealistic person, but now that he heard what I said, he felt it made sense, so he agreed to my agreement: we’ll play again on October 1st. half an hour. Maybe you will say that if you let him play again, won\’t he return to his original shape? It doesn\’t take a day to freeze three feet. A child\’s addiction to games does not develop in a day or two, and it does not take a day or two to quit. He can only take it step by step, from playing less to not playing, and gradually weakening the impact of the game on him. Parents should lead by example and stay away from electronic products together to help their children quit their favorite games. This is like asking a mother to quit watching her favorite Korean dramas or asking a dad to quit watching his favorite football. Therefore, parents should empathize with their children\’s pain and be more understanding. More help, less punishment, and stay away from electronic products together. Although I have explained clearly to my children that I use my mobile phone to read articles and learn to write, and my father uses his mobile phone to learn to draw. We both use our mobile phones as learning tools rather than entertainment. But as long as the children are present or when they start studying in the evening, we consciously put down our mobile phones and pick up books to read instead. The children\’s psychology is much more balanced, and the number of times they mention games gradually decreases. Divert the child\’s attention If you want the child to quit gaming, you have to divert the child\’s attention to other things. Whenever he mentioned games, I would change the subject in time and talk to him about topics he was interested in. For example, in two years, if he gets good grades, he can go to the city to study and live the life he always hoped for. In the city life, I go to the library on weekends, drink tea when guests come, ride bicycles in the park when the weather is nice, etc.; if I am lucky enough to be appointed as a senior teacher in a middle school, we can consider changing to a third room in a university within a few years. He said that there should be a bay window and he would live in a room by himself. After the child in my belly was born, he would sleep with me first, and when he grew older, he would sleep in his own room. But what if guests come? He was so lost in thinking about these issues that he completely forgot about the game. And because the realization of these wonderful things requires a good financial foundation, we made a verbal agreement that we would be responsible for working hard to earn money, and he would be responsible for studying hard and getting good grades to avoid spending a lot of money on buying a degree. The reason why children are addicted to online games cannot be entirely blamed on the children. Parents also have a big responsibility. For example, if I had not approved him to play the game for the first time, if I had not underestimated the allure of games to children, I would not have caused the children to regard playing games as their only happiness and lose interest in other things. interested. PlaceParents should work with their children to find solutions to problems, rather than letting their children suffer the \”bitter consequences\” alone. By the way, I also remind those young parents that no matter how busy you are, don’t leave your children to be looked after and accompanied by electronic products. After all, the child is yours. If you can\’t do your best, who can you expect?