When I allowed my son to \”waste time\”, a month later he finally learned self-discipline

This year my son is in sixth grade. During the holidays, I didn’t want him to be alone at home, so I asked him to go to his grandparents’ place. I arranged daily homework for him and hoped that he could finish it on time. At eight o\’clock in the evening, I went to pick him up after get off work. As soon as I entered the door, I saw that he seemed to have done something bad and quickly hid his hand under the table. I knew right away that he was up to no good. I checked his homework and found that the homework for the three classes had not been touched, and the battery of his mobile phone was exhausted. It seemed that he had been playing with his mobile phone all day. My head was so big that I felt like it was going to explode. I was busy outside all day and wanted to relax when I came back. But he was so ignorant and only played with his mobile phone. Having raised a child for 12 years, I have been worrying about everything about him. Whether it is life or study, I have made clear arrangements for him. But in the end, the child didn\’t seem to understand my hard work. Everything I did seemed to him as it should be. I always hope that my son can concentrate on his studies and not be disturbed by other things. But in fact, my son seems to have little interest in learning. If I am not there to supervise him, he will procrastinate and be unwilling to take the initiative to learn. Moreover, as he grew up, he became more and more disobedient and often went against me. Sometimes when I can\’t sleep at night, I watch some content about educating children and start thinking about my own education methods. I found that there were indeed some problems with my previous approach. I always make decisions for him and don\’t let him try and make mistakes because I feel like that\’s a waste of his time. When my son was a child in kindergarten, he wanted to learn to dress himself, but he was slow. I thought it was too slow for him, so I helped him put it on quickly. For a while, he was interested in cooking and wanted to help me cut vegetables, but I was worried that he would get his hands dirty, so I told him to stop making trouble and read a book. I even stopped his favorite basketball class so that he could study more. I always felt that as long as I had good academic performance, everything else was a waste of time. But I realize now that I was actually preventing him from learning and growing. I now understand that letting children try things that seem to be a \”waste of time\” is actually helping them learn self-management and organization. These small attempts can give them a real experience, a sense of accomplishment, and give them more control over themselves. But now, my son is like a car with no power. The more I criticize and pressure him, the more reluctant he is to move. Because he is used to being pushed by me and forgets that he can move forward on his own. Next, I would like to give two suggestions to parents. I hope you will take a serious look at them. The first point: You must learn to \”let go\”. Start by giving your children time autonomy and allow them to \”waste time.\” Just like adults need a break after work, children also need to play and relax. I began to try to let my son manage his own time, and even promised to let him play basketball again. Every Saturday, he can spend a whole day on the court and enjoy the fun of sports. Although I was a little worried and didn\’t know if this was the right thing to do, the results surprised me. On the first day, my son completed his homework according to his plan, and then went to play with his friends. In the evening, I check his homework and he will make corrections based on my opinions.change. With autonomy, he became more focused while doing his homework. My son happily told me that he now feels that time is precious because he can manage it by himself. I was so relieved to see the twinkle in his eyes. This is the first time I\’ve seen him so energetic in a long time. The second suggestion is to help children rebuild their self-confidence, use positive comments to enhance their self-worth and sense of achievement, and stimulate their inner positivity. In the past, when I was educating my son, I often unconsciously labeled him with negative labels, such as saying that he was stupid, lazy, procrastinated, inattentive, had poor self-control, lacked self-discipline, etc. These words were like a shadow, affecting him silently. No matter how hard he tried, I always found fault with him and felt that he was not good enough. As time went by, these negative words seemed to have become reality, and my son became like what he said to me. But now I have begun to change, using a \”magnifying glass\” to discover my son\’s strengths, recognize him, and encourage him. For example, I would say to him: \”Son, on the first day you were able to arrange your own time and complete tasks on time according to our agreement. I am really happy to see your growth. Your self-control ability is really great.\” \”Now when you do your homework, not only can you concentrate, but the quality of your homework has also improved. The teacher also told me about your progress. I am really proud of you. \”I will start with the little things in life to discover and affirm every bit of his progress and efforts. I have been encouraging and praising my son, and he has indeed become more confident. What surprised me is that not only did he finish the work on time I finished my homework and started to plan and preview new lessons. I see my son doing better every day, handling his own affairs more and more, and his interest in learning is getting stronger. I am really happy from the bottom of my heart. Realize that educating children should be guided easily, rather than forced and urged all the time. My previous education method was too simple, which made things so complicated. I hope this article can help parents who are confused about educating their children!