When ignorance and doting combine, what can we do to protect our children?

Recently, a 16-year-old boy in Hangzhou lost his precious life due to diabetes. Nowadays, diabetes can be prevented and controlled. Why does tragedy still happen to this poor child? According to news reports, we learned that the deterioration of a child\’s condition is directly related to the doting of his parents. At first, the child refused to take insulin, and said he would not take insulin if he was not allowed to eat. In response to this unreasonable fuss, his parents also gave in and coaxed him to please him. Let your children eat and drink as much as they want. However, the treatment of diabetes is to control eating and drinking. Parents who have always doted on their children without principles have long forgotten this. Later, when they saw that their son was unwilling to take insulin, his parents compromised again. They got some folk remedies from nowhere, stopped the insulin, and asked him to take traditional Chinese medicine instead. When a child is found to be sick, it is human nature for parents to feel pity for their child and the affection between their flesh and blood. However, the parents\’ unprincipled laissez-faire ultimately cost the child the chance to recover. As a result, the condition worsened. In the end, his life was in danger. When he was sent to the hospital, his blood sugar level exploded, and the blood immediately coagulated and could not be detected. In the end, the condition was irreversible due to organ failure! What parent doesn\’t love their children? But unprincipled doting will only harm the child! A few years ago, there was a tragic story like this in our county. That was a boy who had just entered junior high school because his parents were working outside. The grandparents at home always follow the child\’s temperament. As a result, this child used his pocket money to buy spicy snacks outside to eat every day. This happens almost every day, rarely eating. At first, adults thought he was just a little thinner and darker, and they just let him be like that day by day. I ate it from elementary school to middle school and became addicted. As a result, one time he had unbearable abdominal pain and was sent to the county hospital for examination. He was diagnosed with stomach cancer and died within a few years. When ignorance and doting combine, it can really kill you. In recent years, there has been a very popular parenting concept called \”releasing children\’s nature.\” Fromm said: \”In all love relationships, freedom is the most important.\” In fact, from a psychological point of view, this is indeed the case. However, many parents use this chicken feather arrow to misinterpret its meaning. Just release the child\’s nature, regardless of anything else. How is the nature of release known? Part of the nature comes from the child\’s personality and temperament, and genetic factors cannot be denied. But the guidance and discovery the day after tomorrow is even more important. You know, freedom is not absolute. Because empty indulgence is not freedom. Doing nothing is not freedom. On the contrary, those who are self-disciplined will be free, and those who follow the rules will be freer. This is especially true for children. Without rules, you are like a lost ship in the sea. So don’t be fooled by the so-called “free nature” again. Children should be educated in rules as early as possible. Parents on many platforms ask me: \”Have you ever spanked your child?\” Of course you have. But the number of hits is so small that I can basically count them. I have never been soft-hearted about the rules and education related to personal safety. I remember one time, I took my son to play in the park opposite. Have to cross a road. Because a cousin and sister came that day, he was so happy that he forgot about himself. When we got to the side of the road, we ran up to him without waiting for us to hold hands. I quickly pulled him back and told him all about safety. But the excited boy didn’t have anyListen to your mood. At this time, I pulled him to a tree on the side of the road and asked him to calm down. He must understand the importance of this matter. Let him stand there, stretch out your palm, and hit him hard several times. Ask him why he was beaten? Have you ever understood the dangers of doing so? Seeing that I took it so seriously, my son realized his mistake. Later, when crossing the road, I would stop and wait on the side of the road instead of running rampant. There is no room for sloppiness in life safety education. Because you only have one life, and you can\’t afford any chance. And how many children have been harmed by parents\’ carelessness and ignorance! Some parents have also raised this question: Will it also have a negative impact if they often let their children cry and do not satisfy them? In fact, such worries also fail to clarify the boundaries between rules and satisfaction. Many parents say that they love their children, so they will satisfy their children in whatever they want! I almost didn\’t take off the moon. We all encounter times when our children act out. I remember that when my son was more than 2 years old, he had to eat a bag of candy before eating, because I knew that he would definitely not eat after eating candy. So I didn\’t give it to him. As a result, he lost his temper and immediately lay on the ground and yelled, protesting to me in this way. At this time, grandpa couldn\’t stand it anymore, so he quickly brought some candy and said to him, \”Get up and let me eat it for you.\” I didn\’t say anything at the time, but I knew that the little guy wanted to control us in this way. Of course, this time he got won. But I understand that love cannot be indulged or compromised easily. If he gets a taste of it this way, he will definitely do it next time. But that time I discussed my thoughts with the old man, and he also thought what I said made sense. Sure enough, the next day he tried to get toys through this method again. This time he cried even harder, but the old man went to his room. The result, of course, was that he didn\’t get what he wanted. I want him to understand that nothing can be solved by crying. Many parents say that their children have bad tempers. When angry, they will lie on the floor and roll around, and even beat themselves on the head. The child really touches the heart of the parents. Whatever you care about, I will destroy it. If in daily education, the promises to children can be fulfilled, the love given to children will be unconditional. Give your children rules that make sense, and enforce them firmly and without emotion. Such parents, children will obey. This is not submission due to parental authority and violent suppression. It’s about effective parenting through rules and respect. Every time we talk about setting rules, mothers leave messages and want to know how to set rules. In fact, there are no specific rules to teach you how to do this. Because every family\’s situation is different, every child\’s situation is also thousands of different. I would like to give you two suggestions: One is the rationality of the rules. The rules should be in line with the child\’s own situation. For example, if you have a 2-year-old child and you have to clean up the table after eating by yourself, that would be a bit excessive. Because they haven\’t mastered many fine movements yet, it would be great if they could feed themselves. But if the child is over 4 years old, this can be added. For example, my son eats slowly every day, so I set a rule to put away his own dishes and chopsticks after meals and put them in the kitchen. Because he can do it well, let him do it. Another one is the enforcement of rules. Because it is not implementedThe rules are just empty words. This is also where parents are put to the test. Because many rules are not enforced by children, but given up by parents who do not insist on enforcing them. For example, a mother said that she had set a rule with her children to read a storybook every day. After persisting for a week, I felt bored. Later, the child was still a little enthusiastic, so he persisted for a while. In the end, he just let it go and found a bunch of reasons for himself in his heart. The result is that the children have not developed the habit of reading, and they themselves are anxious about gains and losses. Another common situation is compromise. For example, when a child cries, he immediately gives in and is unable to execute. When you find that your child is resisting, you should first understand the reason why the child is resisting. Are the rules unreasonable? Or is the child trying to achieve his or her own unreasonable goals through resistance? There is such a sentence: \”My child, when you are born, I hope that I will not hurt you as much as possible…\” It is really worth thinking about for every parent. Because many times, ignorance and pampering are like the messengers of the devil, and may even take away the life of a child. And at that time, what you love was in vain, leaving you with regrets for the rest of your life. As parents, we have to think deeply and observe.