When is it appropriate to sleep in separate rooms with your children?

Many parents want to cultivate their children\’s independent character by sleeping in separate rooms. A mother posted that her son was almost 3 years old. She followed the advice of experienced mothers and slowly tried to sleep in separate beds with her child. I originally thought that the child was very independent and would adapt to sleeping in separate beds quickly, but I didn’t expect that it would be unspeakably difficult… That night, the couple just turned off the lights and lay down. The son in the next room ran over and knocked on the door. Mom asked, \”What are you doing?\” What are you going to do? One moment the child said that his little ant crawled into his mother\’s room, and the next moment he said that his Superman toy was in his mother\’s room… The father called out the door: \”Who are you trying to fool with your little thoughts? Go back to bed quickly. Otherwise I\’ll spank you.\” The child went back and the couple slept peacefully all night. Early the next morning, I opened the door and saw my son curled up at the door of his parents\’ room, sleeping soundly. It turned out that he had dragged a small mat, a small pillow, and a small quilt from the room in the middle of the night… The mother immediately burst into tears. , Dad’s eyes were also wet. Are the parents too cruel, or are the children too smart? The bed separation plan that started almost half a week ended in failure! I don\’t think any parent can bear such a scene. It is natural for little children to be attached to their parents. Children cry when they can\’t see their parents. Children cry when they leave the family for the first time and go to a strange environment. Even if I wasn\’t crying or fussing, my heart was still tense. We must not simply say that not sleeping in separate rooms will lead to children not being independent in the future, because the formation of personality is determined by many factors. The formation of independent personality is not directly related to sleeping separately. He hastily asked the children to sleep separately without being prepared. Instead, it will hurt the child. Sleeping in separate rooms too early and sleeping in separate rooms too late is not good for children\’s mental health. This \”early\” is really not a matter of age. Age is just a reference. It mainly depends on the child\’s psychological maturity. This requires parents to have sufficient understanding of their children. Understand your children\’s joys, fears, and expectations…Don\’t rush to force children under 2 years old to sleep in separate rooms. Some moms have definitely heard of sleep training. I\’ve never looked into sleep training because I\’m more concerned about the quality of my children\’s sleep. I remember that at that time, my son was healthy after he was born. As long as he was full, he would not be noisy at night. My mother-in-law helped take care of her, but she was still able to cope with it. At the beginning, the child slept during the day and woke up at night. I knew this wouldn\’t work, but I didn\’t engage in so-called training. Instead, try to play as much as possible when he is awake during the day, and he will slowly adjust to it when he is more than one year old. From the beginning, I transitioned from several times a night to only drinking milk once in the middle of the night. Everything is natural. If a child is too young to sleep separately from his parents, it will make him feel insecure and may make him feel abandoned by his mother. The more secure your baby feels, the better his sleep will naturally be. There are some things we don’t need to be too anxious about. Ma Yili summarized the sleeping problems of the two babies: Please do not violate the natural law of closeness between mother and baby. The children will grow up one day and have enough ability to do things that they could not do before. And we only need to accompany and wait, and Be prepared to be patient. However, we must understand that children must have their own independent space to sleep after all. Leaving your child in his or her own bed for too long, of course, is not okay. If because of oneselfIf the child is not allowed to sleep in separate rooms due to his or her own attachment to the child rather than the child\’s own reasons, then the parents should reflect on it. In many cases it is the mother who chooses to do this. I have met many fathers who both love and complain about their wives who are new mothers. How can you not feel heartbroken when you see how much pain your wife endures when giving birth to a child, and how even more burdensome it is to raise a child? But since having children, many wives basically have no energy to pay attention to their husbands. When mothers share the same room with their children, it may prompt the mother to focus more on the children, causing the partner to be ignored and the relationship between the couple to be affected. Disharmonious family relationships are one of the biggest obstacles to children\’s personality development. In addition, due to the growth needs of the children, you must not hesitate when it is time to divide the rooms. Children aged 4 to 6 years are in the \”sexual bud stage\”. Careful parents will find that their children\’s sexual behavior is relatively active during this period, such as touching their genitals, clamping their thighs, etc. Children begin to realize the sexual differences between men and women, and begin to develop curiosity and preliminary understanding of the genders of men and women. If you sleep in a separate room with your parents too late, it will have an impact on your child\’s mental health. If you do not sleep in separate rooms after the age of 4, it is likely to cause certain problems in the child\’s sexual cognitive development. At what age is it best to sleep in separate beds? Generally speaking, parents can slowly try to sleep in separate beds with their children after the child is 3 years old, and it is more appropriate to complete this process before the child is 5 years old. But what’s more important is the parents’ approach and attitude that can help their children get through this stage smoothly. Be a gentle but firm parent In the actual upbringing process of children, we need to treat our children with both tenderness and firmness. The child may be new to it at first, but as soon as it gets over it, he or she will immediately ask for co-sleeping. Or you may not dare to sleep because you watched scary TV or listened to stories, so you must sleep with your parents. At this time, parents should express understanding and agree with their children\’s psychology. But tell your children gently but firmly that mom and dad still hope you can overcome these fears. And tell his parents that he wants to sleep on his own. Sometimes children are willing to accept their parents\’ advice and work hard to overcome it, and their psychological endurance becomes stronger little by little. If your child really needs it, tell him that this is the only exception your parents will make for you. Now that the rules have been established, we must work hard to abide by the rules and do not break the rules unless there are special circumstances. Otherwise, if the mother repeatedly breaks the rules due to her soft heart, it will lead to the consequences of being unable to break up the more points. There must be sufficient preparation. In the days before the children sleep separately, you might as well do more psychological guidance. For example, reading some picture book stories to children is the best way to help them bravely face or even accept darkness and loneliness smoothly, such as \”The Monster That Eats the Dark\”, \”I\’m Not Afraid of the Night\”, \”Sleep Like a Tiger\”, etc. Make children less afraid of the dark; in addition, reading \”Guess How Much I Love You\”, \”Good Night Moon\”, etc. can help children feel the love of their parents and not be afraid of dark nights. Finally, remember to say good night to your children every day and give them a kiss before going to bed: Mom and Dad will always love you and will always protect you. It would be great if you can tell your children warm and sweet stories before going to bed. Let the child fall asleep with a sweet story in his heart. For children who firmly resist sleeping in separate rooms, you can sleep in separate beds first to make a psychological transition. The reason why children are reluctant to share rooms may be because they have never experienced the joy of having an independent space. Sleeping in separate beds actually makes the children more comfortable themselves. Children who are used to sleeping in the same bed as their mother will feel insecure and prone to fear if they are too hasty and let them sleep alone. Mothers can use separate beds instead of separate rooms at the beginning to allow the children to slowly adapt and transition. Of course, a small independent space that the child likes must be prepared. You can place the toys your child usually plays with in the room and put the bedding that the child usually uses. The company of familiar small things can eliminate loneliness and make it easier for the child to fall asleep. Many children dare not get up to go to the toilet at night, so they do not want to sleep separately. In this case, you can install a night watch light in the corridor. In addition, do not let the child drink too much water before going to bed, let the child urinate, and try not to stay up late at night. When to sleep in separate rooms with your children is really not a matter for parents to slap on their foreheads, but should be a matter of letting nature take its own course. The most important thing is the hard work and preparation of parents, and their encouragement is also needed. In the process of raising children, this problem will not be a problem if the parents\’ intentions allow the children to have brave, positive, and optimistic characters.