When it comes to giving birth, the biggest fear is obsession.

I have never dared to watch the second season of the documentary \”Human World\”. I still remember the story of Zhang Lijun, a cancer mother, written two years ago. It made my eyes swollen from crying. It was from the sadistic first season. However, this time, although it is another story about a mother fighting to the death to give birth to a child, judging from the comments of most viewers, it seems that they are more accusing than moved. I hesitated again and again, but decided to find out whether it was the story that was different or the audience that was changing. Well, I’m talking about the recently controversial second episode, “Birthday.” Wu Ying, 25, suffers from severe congenital heart disease and severe pulmonary hypertension, and has been diagnosed by doctors as \”definitely not suitable for pregnancy.\” But she still insisted on having a child of her own. She had suffered two miscarriages before this and this was her third pregnancy. Lying in the hospital, the first thing she said in front of the camera was: \”I think life is complete if I have a child.\” Her husband, parents, parents-in-law, doctors, and everyone around her were trying to persuade her not to take risks, but She is still extremely determined and willing to give it a try. In the end, Wu Ying, who wanted a child all her life, got her wish, but she was admitted to the intensive care unit before she could even see the child she dreamed of. As for her child, who was born prematurely at 7 months and only weighed 1,005 grams, he was immediately sent to the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit of Shanghai Children\’s Medical Center after birth. After Wu Ying worked hard in the ICU for 14 days, her life was permanently fixed at the age of 25. Her gamble still failed. Comments on Douban, Zhihu, and media public accounts are full of overwhelming accusations and abuse. Some scolded Wu Ying, some scolded her husband, and some scolded her family members. Everyone felt a sense of renunciation and anger—this should have been a completely avoidable tragedy. Why is she so ignorant, why doesn’t her husband use birth control, why doesn’t her family stop her… I also have some questions in my heart, but I always remember what Wu Ying said: \”Some things don’t happen to you, you understand I don’t feel that way.” I also got a glimpse of it from the details reported by some media. She and her husband once discussed what they would do if there was an accident during the birth of the child, and they encountered the situation in the TV series of \”save the baby or the baby\”? The husband said that he must protect the master, but Wu Ying disagreed. She said that she already had heart disease and could not live long without having children. Children are new lives and they must be protected. This stubborn girl looked down upon her limited life of being unable to give birth to a child and was seriously ill. It was understandable that she would make a life-threatening choice. I don’t want to criticize her any more. Everyone has shackles deep in their human nature, but they have different shapes. Whether they want to open the lock or not, and how difficult it is to open the lock is different. But I don’t know if Wu Ying had any regrets during the 14 days she was lying in the ICU. Because it is the middle ground between life and death. His whole body was covered with tubes, and he was lying on the bed unable to move. Although he could open his eyes, nod his head, and look at pictures of his children, he could not speak or move his expressions. Her pain, fear, worry and fear… all her feelings could only be trapped in a body that had lost its vitality and she could bear it silently. She might have thought that this adventure would be life or death. But I never expected that it would happen againThere is such a painful and gray time and space full of unknowns. She wanted to live, but she couldn\’t live. She wanted to die, but she was unwilling to do so. If such days lasted for three months, half a year, or even a year, would she rather she just had a dream? When she woke up, she would learn her lesson and love herself more who could laugh, walk, and live freely. , don’t give birth to children, don’t go to hell. The baby she desperately gave birth to weighed only 1,005 grams and stayed in the pediatric ICU for a long time. Bei Fei, a doctor at Shanghai Children\’s Medical Center who participated in the treatment, said: Many mothers think that as long as I risk my life to give birth to the child, everything will be fine, but this is not necessarily the case. Many critically ill mothers have a poor intrauterine environment, and their children often have problems of one kind or another. If the child Wu Ying gave birth to did not survive the ICU or had some kind of congenital defect, would Wu Ying regret it if she were still alive? In the documentary, I heard a doctor say that once you have a child, your family will be perfect and many things will get better. This probably represents the sentiments of many women who want to be mothers. But when you really become a mother, you will find that after giving birth to a child, you only left Chang\’an City to seek Buddhist scriptures. The long night after that, the battle of wits and courage with your baby, and the running-in with your teammates and parents-in-law are what makes you happy. Disaster. If Wu Ying is lucky enough to break through the gate of hell, and her child is healthy and safe, but when she is living a miserable life and crying late at night, with a sick body, will she regret her decision to fight for her life? Life is not complete once you have a child, but after you have a child, there will be countless opportunities in your life that will make you full of regrets. Knowing that pregnancy and childbirth are life-threatening is not only a life-saving gain, but the price it pays is far beyond our imagination. I am very grateful to this documentary. It can clearly choose the stories of critically ill mothers who took risks and succeeded, and everyone was happy, and it is not easy to attract infamy. But it still chose a few extreme cases. I think it allows us to open up God\’s perspective and is not used to curse; it allows us to stand at a higher position and learn to examine every obsession in life from different angles, especially when it is related to life and not Situations that are within our control should serve as a warning. Looking back on my past, I was a very obsessed second-child party member. Simply because when I saw my daughter Xiaopai hugging her classmate’s sister and refusing to let go, with a look of longing for her own sister, it deeply hurt me. I secretly thought that I must have a second child to be a companion for my daughter. But reality also slapped me hard in the face. Xiaopai and his sister were not as happy together as I expected. Most of the time, they still played their own way, with the older one despising the younger one. Obsession often only considers problems from one dimension, which is likely to bring about nothing and even collapse one\’s life. After unexpectedly becoming pregnant with my third child, my thinking became much more mature as to whether I should or not. But even though I learned to consider all the costs and brought her into the world without any expectation, I still doubted my choice in those days of hesitation. A friend who was about to have a son for the second time watched this episode of the documentary and told me, holding her chest, it was too scary, her own life was the most important thing. If you have it in your life, you have it. If you don’t have it, you can’t force it.. If Wu Ying could have seen this documentary on TV before she became pregnant, telling other people\’s stories, she would have thought more carefully. The documentary director wrote in his notes: Wu Ying\’s husband had a difficult time in the year after Wu Ying\’s death. Lock yourself in your room most of the time, turning day and night upside down. The family hopes that he can come out as soon as possible, because the child has no mother, only the father is left, and the father cannot fail. On Wu Ying\’s child\’s first birthday, her family went to another world with unknown expressions. Wu Ying, can you finally see that in the eyes of the people who love you, your life is more important than anyone else\’s? Many times, what blinds us is not illusion, but our own stubborn obsession.