When my child was called a naughty kid, I got scared

\”Mom, do you think I\’m a naughty child?\” One morning, I was munching on bread and breastfeeding with my little one in my arms, when my little one suddenly asked such a strange question. I swallowed the mouthful of bread eagerly, trying to blurt out worries such as \”Baby, what are you thinking about?\” and \”Have you been in any trouble recently?\” But haste makes waste, and I was choked. Ahem, cough, cough, this left me with precious time to think. When I calmed down, my IQ came back online. After thinking about it for a few seconds, I decided to say these words: \”So, what do you think?\” When we haven\’t figured out how to answer the children\’s wild questions, the best way is to put the question back first. give her. There was a trace of hesitation in Xiaopai\’s eyes, and he pouted and said, \”I know I\’m not, but the last time my classmates and I were shopping in the supermarket, we probably laughed too loudly. An aunt said that we were noisy and said \’You are the most annoying naughty kids\’… Naughty kids, what do you mean?\” This, this, this, I was speechless again, secretly stroking my little heart and thinking, fortunately, Xiaopai didn\’t know that \”naughty kids\” were here. How derogatory the times are, how sad she would be otherwise! In fact, to be honest, I can\’t tell the exact definition of \”naughty child\”. It can be said that in the eyes of a thousand people, there are a thousand kinds of \”naughty child\”. Although those naughty kids written in official accounts who are not far from the murderer can extremely arouse people\’s nerves, I believe they are in the minority after all. There is only one thing that is certain. Nowadays, \”everyone calls for beating the naughty child.\” The overreaction to the \”naughty child\” leads to the risk of being labeled as a \”naughty child\” as long as the child\’s behavior disturbs others, whether intentionally or unintentionally. All are huge. Think about it, Xiaopai laughed too loudly in the supermarket, which really disturbed others. Is it unjust to be called a \”naughty kid\”? Not unjust. But as a parent, I can\’t help but want to cry out. It\’s harder for children to control their behavior than adults. It\’s just that they laugh a little louder. Just remind them. Do you have to use \”naughty child\” to scold someone? But then again, if I were nearby and heard someone scolding my child like this, I would have no way to refute. I would just be embarrassed from head to toe, say \”I\’m sorry\” weakly, and wish I could carry the child away at the speed of light. Go home and disappear at the \”crime scene\”. At this time, there was a \”ding\” in my head, and I suddenly understood that I, a mother of three children, had never dared to take three children out alone. There was a deep fear hidden behind it – what if I failed to handle the whole situation? , the three children were in various situations, and I was accidentally accused of being a \”bear parent\”. I would definitely lose my face to the Atlantic~ For my father, this accusation was even more unbearable, and it also directly caused the consequences at home. He is a loving father, and he can turn into a tiger dad in seconds when taking care of his children. Once, I had a family dinner with some friends. My father was like an instructor, constantly correcting the children\’s behavior. \”Xiao Pai, don\’t lie down on the table to eat, can you sit up?\” \”Ning Ning, don\’t kick your feet on the table, it\’s so dirty!!\” \”After eating, don\’t run around, just stay there, do you hear me! !!\” \”Ning Ning, don\’t scream. If you ask me again, I won\’t bring you here next time!!!!\” \”What is Lisa crying about?, quickly take her to a place to breastfeed, and come back after feeding her! ! ! ! ! \” His expression became more and more serious, and the word \”anxiety\” became bigger and bigger. In the end, all the threats, intimidations, and orders that we usually try to avoid using came to light. It is hard to imagine that if our children really If \”getting into trouble\” in a public place, the father will most likely get angry out of shame and start to discipline the child without saying a word. The terrible crime of \”bear child and bear parent\” is invisibly kidnapping the way we treat our children. Even if I have always insisted on standing with my child at all times, but when she suddenly became a \”naughty child\” criticized by others… We can really remain rational at the moment, not only considering the child\’s self-esteem, but also letting her Are you willing to sincerely apologize after realizing that you have done something wrong? 2-year-old Ningning is at the stage where she likes to hit others. I did not use strong methods to stop her from hitting others, but continued to patiently teach her to express her needs in language. .Although the ultimate goal is for her to stop hitting others and get through this stage smoothly, there are also many objections in the background that surprise me. Some said that they finally know where the naughty child came from, just because of you. Parents who spoil their children! Others said, if your child was hit by someone else, could you still treat the hitting child so calmly and gently? I am just sharing my handling through the screen of my mobile phone. In this way, there are so many parents who are dissatisfied with my \”gentleness\” and believe that children who hit others should be punished. So if I meet parents with this idea on site, should I…should be criticized by them? , I really need to give Ning Ning a good scolding to settle the matter. To be honest, I can\’t do it. My own child was beaten, why do I have to give the other parent a good lesson and punish the child who hit him, so that it can be called normal? It\’s just that It\’s just a way of venting anger after being hurt. When Ning Ning is beaten by other children of the same age, I usually look at her reaction. If she cries after being beaten, I go up to comfort her. If she fights back, I quickly stop her. . No matter what, remind her to use her mouth to express it, and it does not rise to the level of an apology from the other person\’s child or parent. In my eyes, isn\’t it normal for a two or three-year-old child to hit and fight? (Of course, a four or five-year-old child It’s a different matter if the child is always hitting others.) Think about a four-year-old child, running and jumping, moving too much, and the curtain raised hit me sitting at the door of the hotel. Even I was pregnant and was beaten. If it hurts, I will only blame myself for choosing the wrong position. The child must have been unintentional. Well, taking a step back, if the child did it on purpose and thought it was fun to lift the curtain and hit someone, I would only try Tell your child, it really hurts when you hit your aunt like this. Can we stop playing with this? What if the child doesn\’t respond? You can choose to negotiate with his parents. If the parents don\’t want to take care of it at first sight, just change the position yourself. . At any time, we do not have the right to educate other people’s children, let alone decide how other people’s parents teach their children. There is no need to retaliate with anger on the children. Being tolerant to other people’s children is also tolerant to your own children. .We don’t kidnap others.Your own parenting style, your own parenting style, will not be kidnapped by others. If we often harbor hostility, the hostility will come back to bite us. Just like the pregnant woman who tripped her child some time ago, she had a hundred ways to express her dissatisfaction, but she chose the one that relieved her anger the most but pushed herself into the abyss. The child himself had congenital heart disease and suffered a traumatic brain injury after being thrown. There was a lot of abuse on the Internet, and there was also a personal search for pregnant women. Going back to the question Xiaopai asked me, what does naughty kid mean? I answered her: \”Honey, \’naughty kid\’ is a warning to remind you to pay attention to your words and deeds in public and not to disturb others. If you hear someone calling you \’naughty kid\’ again in the future, think about what you did wrong.\” That\’s great, just apologize and make things right.\” As a parent, don\’t take this \”hat\” too seriously, and don\’t put it on other people\’s children easily, that\’s all.