When the child said that \”it is painful to attend interest classes,\” this mother said to the child…

During dinner on the weekend, my father said to me seriously: \”It\’s too much for you to take your children to sword practice three times a week.\” Xiaodian said that he chose to practice sword practice, but he didn\’t expect it to be so hard. I think you can do it. Let him practice less, he will just go to school, and don’t let the child live too hard.\” These words made me furious. Why is it that other children can do it, but it’s hard for me to do it alone? Xiaodian saw how angry I was and didn\’t dare to get close to me all night. I think this matter needs to be treated with caution. My colleague\’s daughter Nunu learns to dance and often complains about it. After hearing this too many times, even she began to doubt whether her persistence with her child was necessary, and she felt extremely tormented inside. However, one thing changed her mind. Once, Nunu went to the Grand Theater to perform. After the performance, her daughter put her arms around her neck and said sweetly: \”Mom, thank you for helping me choose dance and giving me the opportunity to stand on the dance stage.\” From then on, she paid attention to her child. Although the child said he didn\’t want to go before each dance practice, he came out smiling after each practice. This shows that Nunu can get fun from dancing, but before going, the hardships of the training process made her feel fearful. I feel that if sword practice really brings excessive physical and psychological burden to children, the rhythm of practice must be adjusted. But if the child is just afraid of hardship, then this matter still needs to be persisted. I watched the children carefully. Every time Xiaodian comes back from sword practice, she still has enough energy to play and watch TV. She is rarely sluggish, let alone falling asleep from exhaustion. In addition, he often told me excitedly that he made many new friends at the sword training center. When I go home during the holidays and play with other children, I will make gestures with a wooden sword, using all the movements I learned in fencing classes. Before dinner, we invited him to eat, and he even did a set of fencing moves. He enjoyed it and refused to eat. All this shows that Xiaodian is physically able to take classes three times a week. Psychologically, although he feels that high-intensity exercise is a bit painful and scary, he actually still likes it. The reason why he said bitterness was, on the one hand, because bitterness and joy were intertwined and difficult to distinguish; on the other hand, he did not expect that it would take so much sweat to master a skill, and the effort exceeded his expectations. So, I decided to talk to Xiaodian about this issue that night. This is how I guided him: Xiaodian: Mom, I like watching Ultraman. I think Ultraman is very fun. Me: I like it too. My mother was a TV fan when she was a child. Xiaodian: Then I will call you TV fan from now on. Me: OK! Are you happy watching TV? Xiaodian: Happy! Me: So when you were practicing swordsmanship, you passed the basic class and got the title of \”Golden Helmet Swordsman\”. Are you happy? Xiaodian: Happy! Me: Do you think you are happier when you are watching TV or watching \”The Swordsman with the Golden Helmet\”? Xiaodian: Haha. (Xiaodian saw through it and I guided him to answer this question) I think I would be happier as a \”Golden Helmet Swordsman\”! (Embarrassingly) Before this conversation, the child may have found sword practice hard. But after talking to me, he guessed the purpose of what I said, and also realized that practicing swordsmanship can actually bring him real happiness, soHe felt embarrassed for complaining about the difficulty of practicing swordsmanship before. When parents chat with their children, they should give their children positive psychological hints. For example, parents can ask, \”During sword practice, did you enjoy playing games with your children?\” \”Are you proud of yourself because you have learned a new skill?\” In this way, positive questions can be used to guide children to understand how to do things. The thing itself is fun. Some parents are used to asking their children \”Have you finished your homework today?\” as soon as they see their children. This is actually guiding their children to regard homework as a task. How can children be happy when doing homework? Some parents say to their children when they first enter kindergarten: \”It will be hard to go to elementary school in the future, cherish the happy time now!\” Little do they know that this is leading their children to become enemies with learning. If we haven\’t asked yet, we will assume that this is a hard thing, and then if we ask the child if it is hard, he will naturally think it is hard. The acquisition of any skill is bound to require hard, repetitive and even boring practice. Therefore, it is normal for a child to complain about suffering. Blindly denying his feelings will be detrimental to his growth. When Xiao Dian was practicing piano before, she always said: \”Mom, it\’s so difficult, so difficult.\” At first, I reprimanded him and said, \”What\’s so difficult? It\’s not difficult, isn\’t it like this?\” As a result, my son continued to say it was difficult. Later, I changed my attitude and expressed that I understood his difficulties and was willing to work with him to overcome them. At this time, he was relieved because his feelings were understood by others and stopped talking. Therefore, we must allow our children to express their feelings. For example, high-intensity training is tiring? In this way, children will have a feeling of being understood. This way he has an outlet for his emotions, making him less likely to feel tired. Never want to hear your child complain, and then ask your child to suppress his feelings. This will force him to hate doing it.