When the child was young, I didn’t have time to accompany you, but when I am old, you should come home often to visit me.

My friend Xiaoxue had a fight with her husband and decided to run away from home. So, he came to stay with me at night. She said angrily that I was determined to get a divorce this time. I knew she was just talking casually, so I deliberately provoked her, \”Where will you go after divorce?\” Xiaoxue said, I will live here with you. I said, please, you are such a troublesome woman, I don’t want to live with you. Then I would rent a house by myself, which would be more comfortable. What to do with the child? I don’t care, he’s not close to me anyway. I said, you still have the nerve to say that the baby is not close to you. You don’t even look at how many times you have been with him. From three months after giving birth to your baby being five years old now, you have taken care of him several times. And I also find a particularly funny thing is that I rarely see you calling your baby or video chatting. Some of my friends who have babies, even if they stay in a hotel for a day on a business trip, they still have to take time to video-check with their families in the evening to see their babies. Xiaoxue said, \”If you don\’t tell me, I really didn\’t notice it. I think it is true.\” Do you think I am particularly incompetent as a mother? I refuse to answer this question, you can think about it yourself. My friend thought for a while and said to himself, no wonder the child is not close to me. It turns out that I spend too little time with him. When many parents see that their children are not close to them, they always think that it is the child\’s fault, but they never think about whether they and their children have been separated for too long. If a couple stays apart for too long, the relationship is prone to change. In fact, the same is true for family ties. Even if blood is thicker than water, if the frequency of contact is too low, there will be gaps in the relationship. I saw a post online that said that four months after the child was born, because the mother had to go to work, she left the responsibility of taking care of the child to her mother-in-law. She only occasionally went home to see the baby when she was free. Gradually, when the child grew up and could speak, he regarded his grandma as his mother. When he stayed with his mother, he would cry and look for his grandma. This situation is getting more and more serious, and my mother feels very uncomfortable in her heart, because I am obviously the person closest to him. Especially when I see other babies getting close to their mothers, I feel uncomfortable. When a child is young, he can\’t actually tell who is his closest blood relative. They only know that he will kiss whoever is good to him; he will be attached to whoever spends a lot of time with him. One of the reasons why children don\’t want to be close to their parents is that their parents spend too little time with their children as they grow up. A parent of a student complained that his child never communicated with me when he was worried. I asked her, did you ever neglect your child\’s growth when he was a child? The parent said how did you know. I laughed and said that I would know it as soon as I heard it. The parents said that I used to be too busy with work and had no time to accompany him, so I left him in my hometown for my grandparents to take care of him. I didn\’t take him back until he was in junior high school. Because I don’t get along with him very much, he always doesn’t want to get close to me, and he never tells me what’s on his mind. In fact, I have heard similar complaints like this more than once. Parents say that I am too busy at work, so I have neglected my children\’s growth; parents say that I am too busy at work, so I have neglected my children\’s education; parents say that I am too busy at work, so I have neglected my children\’s lives. In the end, there was an emotional gap between the children and their parents, leading to conflicts between parents and children.Don\’t understand each other. Many people think that accompanying their children to grow up is a dispensable thing compared to working to earn money and entertainment. Even without companionship, children will grow up. However, growing up is just the result, growing up is the process. The results will always be seen, but the process will be missing if you are not involved. In fact, for children, the happiest memories of childhood are not the delicious food they ate or the fun toys they played with. What they long for most and are most unforgettable is the company of their parents. Every time I see news reports about left-behind children in remote areas, I can’t help but feel sad. Especially their words \”Mom, Dad, I miss you and wait for you to come home.\” That \”thinking\” and that \”waiting\” contained so many longings day and night, and mixed with so many disappointments when those longings were shattered. When I was a child, my family was very poor. There were no toys and very few snacks. But my father would carry me around, let me sit on his shoulders, and take me to swim in the river and catch fish and shrimp. My mother would make up many stories and tell them to me every night. Sometimes, they would play hide and seek with me and make various small clay objects. When I grow up and look back on the past, even though those days were tight and difficult, I still miss them very much. Because my childhood was full, and because I always had the love and company of my parents, I always felt that Europeans and Americans did better than Chinese people. Many people will say that it is because Europeans and Americans have higher wages, less pressure, and better benefits than Chinese. These are all true, but the most important thing is that they have different concepts about family. Many Europeans and Americans are used to taking care of their families when they go to work in one place. Some are even willing to give up a higher-paying job in order to spend more time with their families. Most Chinese people will not give up a better development platform for their families. More often than not, they will say that the reason why I work so hard to earn money is for your future life. However, to abandon the present moment of children and then strive to pursue a distant future, is it a bit too far-fetched to seek the distant future? They forget that money can be earned again, and if their children miss out on their growth, they will never have it again. There are also some parents who sometimes would rather hold their cell phones and have a lively chat with strangers on WeChat than put down their cell phones and play patiently with their children for a while. I always feel that the child is still young and cannot be with me for a while, but I forget that the child grows very quickly. Before they know it, they will walk, before they know it, they can talk, before they know it, they will go to elementary school, before they know it, they will be as tall as their parents, and before they know it, they will fly far away. In your eyes, the child is still the same as when he was a child. When you still want to hold him in your arms, but find that you can no longer hold him, when you want to talk to him quietly for a while, but find that there is a generation gap between him and you, you finally realize Until the child grows up. But it\’s too late, because you have missed his growth process. Money can be earned again, and jobs can be found again, but children only grow up once, and if you miss it, you will miss it forever. Social competition is fierce, and adults are under great pressure to survive. It is normal to be busy, but being too busy to spend time with your children is an excuse. Those who make more money than us, are busy at work, and have high positions all have time to spend with their children.son. Most of us ordinary people just work a nine-to-five job, sometimes work overtime, and occasionally go on a business trip, but they always claim in a high-profile manner that we have no time to spend with our children and family. It sounds like he is more busy than the President of the United States. There is a saying on the Internet that in fact, whether to spend time with your children or not has never been a matter of time, but a matter of choice and value ranking. The so-called not having time to spend time with your children just means that you put spending time with your children after your work, making money, and entertainment. So, don’t say that I am too busy to spend time with my children, and then when I get older, I will start nagging my children to go home more often. Children will be very busy when they grow up, okay?