When children grow up, they drift away from each other, neglect to greet their parents, and sometimes even have a curt and rude attitude. This is a scene that every parent does not want to see. But in real life, this situation is not uncommon. I remember an elder who was nearly 60 years old once complained to me: \”The children are just perfunctory to us now, especially the eldest son, who simply pretends that they can\’t hear me. Sometimes I want to chat with him, He didn\’t even bother to say a complete sentence, just said \”I got it\” and left. \”When the children left home to work, their attitudes gradually changed, and indifference and impatience towards their parents seemed to become a \”normal\”. Why does this phenomenon occur? How to deal with it? How should we deal with ourselves as parents? Reason 1: Increased awareness of independence and desire for autonomy. Children leave home to go to school and work, and gradually establish their own life circle. They hope to live an independent life without excessive interference from their parents. Parents\’ long-term \”breathing together\” can easily make children feel suppressed or restricted. Reason 2: The generation gap is intensifying and there are differences in values. With the development and changes of society, there are obvious differences between old and new ideas in different generations. Children want to live according to their own values, but they are often questioned and denied by their parents\’ old-fashioned ideas. The fierce collision between the two concepts often leads to intergenerational estrangement. Reason 3: Different life stages make it difficult for both parties to communicate. Most of the parents have entered their old age, and their lives focus more on things around them such as family and elderly care. However, the sons and daughters in their prime are busy with their careers and personal development. The two parties are at very different stages of life, so communication is naturally particularly difficult. How do parents deal with these problems? Getting angry and arguing will undoubtedly be counterproductive. On the contrary, if you deal with it in a more intelligent and gentle way, you will be able to reap unexpected results: 1. Learn to \”listen more and talk less\”, listen carefully to your children\’s thoughts and feelings, become familiar with and understand your children\’s inner world, which is to improve the relationship. the first step. As a parent, you first need to calm down and listen to your children with patience and love instead of blindly appealing and indoctrinating. By listening, you understand your children\’s desire for independence and their differences in values, and then communicate with them in a more considerate and tolerant manner. 2. Give your children full respect and support, respect their rights and choices to live independently, and don\’t judge them easily. When they encounter difficulties and setbacks, they take the initiative to lend a helping hand and win the trust and trust of their children with practical actions. This will not only ease the gap between generations, but also bring you closer. 3. Establish your own independent lifestyle and pursue values. Your children should work diligently in their careers, and you should do the same if you seek self-development. Develop your own interests and hobbies, participate in community and volunteer activities, make new friends, and live a fulfilling and meaningful life. With your own personal pursuits and spiritual sustenance, you will not be too dependent on your children\’s greetings and care. On the contrary, your children see you being positive and optimisticThe living conditions will definitely give you new understanding and admiration. 4. Treat your children’s indifference and alienation with an understanding and tolerant attitude, it is not intentional. They are just in a stage of longing for independence and need to experience and practice it themselves. This is a normal life process. Therefore, you should no longer be stubborn with old ideas, but use a broad and open mind to understand your children\’s behavior. Only by understanding first can your children feel your love and gradually return the same kindness. Breaking away from the inherent patterns conceptually and using practical actions to win back the understanding and recognition of your children is the only way to repair the parent-child relationship. \”Don\’t get angry, don\’t argue\” are the key words. What\’s more important is to be a reasonable and wise parent with a tolerant and inclusive mind. In this way, your children will eventually realize that you are not an old-fashioned parent imposed on them, but a mentor and friend worthy of respect and closeness. At that time, you and I can truly form an intimate relationship of mutual appreciation and mutual support.
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- When you are over fifty, the more your children disrespect you and ignore you, the more you must remember these 8 words: Don’t get angry, don’t argue.