When you have kids, this is a lesson you have to learn

Let me tell you a story first. The father of a Jewish family saved money for a long time and finally bought a new car that he had longed for. After the new car arrived home, he cherished it very much and washed and waxed it every day. When his 5-year-old son saw that his father loved cars so much, he often happily helped him wash the car together. One day, after driving home, the father was too tired to move. So he decided to make an exception and wash the car another day, even though his car looked dirty because of the rain. At this time, the 5-year-old son saw that his father was so tired, so he volunteered to help his father wash the car. He was very pleased to see that he knew how to understand himself at such a young age, so he let his son wash the car. My son was going to wash the car, but he couldn\’t find the towels for car washing. So he walked into the kitchen and immediately thought that when his mother usually cooks and washes the pots, she always uses a steel brush to clean them, so since there is no towel, just use a steel brush! He picked up the steel brush and washed the car vigorously, over and over again, like washing a pot. After he finished washing, he heard a \”wow\” sound and burst into tears. Why did the car cost so much? Now he was in big trouble. He hurriedly ran to find his father, crying and saying: \”Dad, I\’m sorry, Dad, come and see!\” The father followed his son to the car in confusion, and he also said \”Wow\”: \”My car, my car!\” The father walked into the room angrily and knelt on the ground angrily praying: \”God, please tell me, what should I do? That\’s my new car, a It’s less than a month old and it’s like this. How should I punish my child?” Just after he finished praying, a voice suddenly appeared in his ear, “Everyone in the world looks at the surface, but I look at the heart!” Suddenly, he realized it. . When he walked out of the room, his son was crying in fear and did not dare to move. The father stepped forward, hugged the child tightly in his arms, and said kindly: \”Thank you for helping Dad wash the car. Dad loves you far more than he loves that car.\” In this story, the father said it right Very distracted. Dad loves you far more than that car. I believe you ask all dads, which is more important, the car or the children? He would say that children are important. Which is more important, the house or the children? He would say that the children are more important. Is work more important or children more important? He would say children are more important. But I also believe that when a father spends a few nights planning a flawless plan and puts it on his desk. As a result, the three-year-old child wanted to add some beautiful patterns to his father\’s plan, so he \”doodled\” a few strokes on the plan book. Most fathers would be furious and give the child a severe lesson without caring about the child at all. The reason behind the behavior, the child behind the behavior cannot be seen. Not just fathers, but mothers too. When your child sees that you have had a hard day, he wants to pour you a glass of water. As a result, he not only burns his hand, but also breaks the glass. You had to take him to the hospital to see a doctor and lost a beloved cup. Do you blame your child for being ignorant and causing trouble for you, or are you grateful for the love your child gives you? Many adults grow up in an environment lacking love. When I was a child, I wanted to help my mother wash the dishes, but accidentally broke the dishes. My mother yelled at me and even beat me. I want to help my father repair himselfWhile driving, I accidentally pricked my hand. I needed to see a doctor and spend money. I was scolded and even beaten by my father. None of them are seen, never really noticed as a \”person\”. Parents’ focus remains on the surface of behavior. The original intentions and feelings behind the behavior were trampled on at will. They were hurt by it and cried. I told myself in my heart that if I have children in the future, I will never treat them like this. Many years later, they had their own children. The trivialities of life made them exhausted, and they gradually lost themselves in the trance of reality. Face the \”childish behavior\” of young children, be patient once or twice, and be patient when you are in a happy mood. As time goes by, the mood becomes irritable, the child does something \”out of line\”, and the screams are all loud. How can I have the mood to pay attention to the trembling child? Afterwards, I felt infinite regret, infinite self-blame, infinite sadness, and infinite distress for my children. Parents who can put down their posture and say \”I\’m sorry\” to their children will gain not only \”forgiveness\” from their children, but also peace of mind. However, some parents say, \”You hurt me, but you laughed it off.\” That\’s because he was treated in this way in his childhood. Unknowingly, he copied the way his parents treated him back then. We have been emphasizing \”love\”. The essence of love is that I have you in my heart. Not because you are excellent, beautiful, or meet my standards, but because you are you. I love you for who you are, not for who you are. My love for you will not diminish even a little bit because you did something wrong. I pay attention to your behavior, and I pay more attention to you behind the behavior. People in the world look at the surface, but I look at the heart. There are no bad kids, only kids who misbehave. Behind inappropriate behavior is an immature way of thinking, a lack of self-control, a desire to attract attention, a desire to be an important person, and even the annoyance of doing bad things with good intentions. When we can pay more attention to our children’s hearts than their superficial behaviors, will our love be meaningful.