When you yell at your children, do you consider their feelings?

A mother shared in her circle of friends, \”I just yelled at my child, and I really regret it. I feel sorry that my son became a victim of my emotional instability.\” This aroused everyone\’s sympathy. How many children are silently acting as a punching bag for their parents. To be honest, does your child really need you to scold him like this? In fact, many times your anxiety is more terrifying than your child\’s problem itself. For example, a child who has just learned to speak has unclear speech and stutters when anxious. I think this happens to a lot of parents. Sometimes when Xiao Xiaoyu is in a hurry to tell me something, he will be too anxious to speak clearly. I will listen and tell him to take his time and allow him to say a sentence several times. Slowly, he stopped speaking in knots and his expression became more and more fluent. Some parents are very anxious when they see that their children cannot speak clearly. What should they do if their children study in the future? Will he become a stammerer? what to do? After being controlled by anxiety, parents will pay strict and urgent attention to this issue. They may teach patiently the first time, but remain the same the second time. He immediately scolded her, causing the child to stutter more and more. A non-serious problem in itself became a real problem due to the influence of parents\’ anxiety. Do you know how your child feels when you yell at them? We often only care about our own feelings and ignore the feelings of our children. This is a shortcoming of many parents and teachers. In the name of love and parental authority, parents expect their children to obey their instructions. Once the child has his own ideas and insists on it stubbornly or makes a small mistake, threaten and yell. Education with emotions is the most useless education. Because when you yell, the child\’s heart is closed, because the psychological protection mechanism allows the child to protect itself. Some children will cover their ears with their hands to avoid it, and some cry to protect themselves. Because your yelling causes too much damage. There is a very famous German picture book \”The Mother Who Yells When Angry\”, in which a cute baby penguin tells us about the extraordinary experience between it and its mother. \”This morning, my mother lost her temper and yelled angrily at me. As a result, I was so scared that I scattered all over and ran away… My head flew into the universe, my belly fell into the sea, and my My mouth was stuck on the mountain. In the end, my mother, who lost her temper and yelled, took me back and patched me up. My mother said \”I\’m sorry\” to me, and I forgave my mother. Children who are hurt by their parents\’ yelling are full of heart Fearful, even trembling, they rely on unconstrained wanderings to escape the frightening real world. If parents hurt them once or twice, children will repair the wounds, because as long as they change, they will still be good parents, but they will still It leaves scars all over the body! If over time, yelling becomes a parenting habit, then parents have to consider the psychological harm to their children. Don’t think that your children are young and ignorant, they understand everything else. Children’s hearts are very soft. Little They will make mistakes. Growth is a process of making mistakes and correcting them, from rebellion to sensibleness. Children are always willing to forgive the mistakes of \”violent parents\” and know that their parents are in a bad mood, not that they don\’t love me. Children are always kind and stand beside their parents. understand parents from their standpoint, and weWell, can you also control your temper? On the road to becoming a parent, I wonder if there are any parents who can never yell once? Because I myself have lost my temper with my children, and I regretted it very much when I saw how frightened the children were. So I thought I must control my emotions. The growth of a child is a spiritual practice for parents. It is so well said. When parents are emotionally stable, the family will be warmer and give their children a sense of security. Parents who love each other will always become gentle over the years, and those sharp edges will be smoothed away. If a child lives in a home where the chickens and dogs are jumping around every day, can they feel happiness and joy? If parents no longer love each other, it will destroy the city in their children\’s hearts. Without a happy and warm home, a child\’s world will be dark and dull. Without the nourishment of love, the soul will be swallowed step by step by darkness. Why do children feel pain when they see their parents quarreling? Even if you push your child away and tell him it\’s none of his business. But he will still be sad and will take some actions to try to change something. Because children will feel that these are related to them. I always remember one thing. That was a brother from our village, five or six years older than me. Once his brother told me that his brother ran away. His younger brother was my playmate. I was very surprised at the time and asked him why. He said that because of the quarrel at home, his brother couldn\’t stand it and ran away. He was in middle school at that time, and we were just in elementary school, so we were ignorant. But at that time I couldn\’t figure out why his parents were arguing and he wanted to run away? Years later, as a parent, I understood. Children naturally want to balance the relationship between their parents, and this can be seen from their daily play. For example, when we play the game of reciting Tang poetry, we and the children take turns reciting it. One person in the middle can hold the book, and the person holding the book can take a sneak peek, which is of course more advantageous. So the mother and I fought over that book. Xiao Xiaoyu will be the referee. When he sees who has the advantage, he will help the person who is at a disadvantage, always trying to balance. If one day I mess up the house and get criticized by his mother, he will ask her to stop talking. If one day I urgently say that his mother has not done a good job, he will tell me not to be so loud. And when we laugh, make fun, and tell jokes that he doesn’t understand, he will also giggle along with us, as if he understands. Little children always long for their parents to love each other. Children need emotionally calm parents and a warm family atmosphere. Why do we often fail to control our temper? If you think back carefully, you will find that this is closely related to your childhood and the original family you lived in. The way our parents behaved and expressed their emotions when we were young all affected the formation of our character and temperament. Hot-tempered parents raise hot-tempered children, and gentle parents raise gentle children. What kind of soil produces what kind of flowers. What kind of person will the child become when he grows up? It is largely influenced by parents and family. Don’t think that losing your temper is love, don’t think that losing your temper is your true temperament, and don’t think that losing your temper is a sign of your ability. Those who can truly manage their own emotions are truly capable and good parents. In the face of this cruel world, may we use peace toEmotions plant a tree of flowers in a child\’s heart. Not only can it make children feel warm, but it can also bring beauty to others. Parents\’ emotional peace can be said to be the best education for their children.