Where does parental guilt come from? Attached coping strategies

Many parents feel guilty about the “sins” their children have committed. However, parental guilt affects not only the parents\’ own emotional well-being, but also their children\’s overall happiness levels. Guilt can lead parents to develop unhealthy parenting habits, such as compromising easily or overcompensating for their children. While these practices may temporarily relieve parents\’ guilt, they can have detrimental effects on children in the long run. You have to understand that there are no perfect parents, not to mention that sometimes you just do what you have to do to get by. Amy Morin, who has many years of experience in psychological counseling, lists the top 7 reasons that can cause parents to feel guilty, as well as some suggestions for dealing with these emotions. \”I\’m an office worker.\” Many parents feel guilty because they have to go to work every day. For parents who work outside the home, this can be a primary source of guilt—guilt because they enjoy working, guilt because they need a wage to support their family. And sometimes for parents, working can feel like a relief from having to stay in a noisy home, which of course makes you feel even more guilty. In fact, you can let go of this psychological burden, because research shows that high-quality day care can improve children\’s language, social and cognitive skills. Would you feel worse if you picked up your kids from school and left them with a nanny/grandparents, then went on a date or a company dinner with your significant other? You also need to let go of this baggage, because your personal life is also important. You also need to maintain a relationship with your partner or meet your spiritual needs by participating in social activities. In fact, when your child grows up, if he finds that you pay attention to his own needs, it will also be beneficial to his growth. Not to mention, maybe he likes to play with the nanny/grandparents? “My child doesn’t behave well in public” All parents have experienced this embarrassment: the child suddenly throws a tantrum in the supermarket, or the child is in the playground. The one who behaved the worst. At this time, the look others cast on you is not so much a kind of evaluation as it is a kind of sympathy. However, you can slightly adjust your education strategy to better deal with this situation. First of all, if you think your child is sensible and can understand your requirements for him, then you need to let him understand the consequences of bad behavior. If your child makes a mistake, you must follow the family rules. Secondly, we should pay attention to try not to take the child out when he is supposed to have a lunch break. Because children are more likely to throw tantrums when they are sleepy. Sometimes plans don\’t change as much as they do when taking kids out, but having some routine preparation can be good for both your kids and you. For example, you can bring snacks, juice, a change of clothes, and toys to distract him. Sometimes children act out in public because they know it will embarrass you, and they think that if you are embarrassed they will try to accommodate their requests. So when your child breaks a house rule, insist that they receive effective punishment. \”My child eats poorly.\” Yesterday your child loved eating fruits and vegetables, but today he only wants to eat junk food. In fact, there is no need to turn eating into fighting.You just need to continue to provide your children with a variety of nutritious foods and let them choose. It’s no big deal if your child doesn’t want to eat fruits and vegetables—no child will get sick from missing a meal of fruits and vegetables. Many children grow up and try foods they didn\’t eat before. If you feel guilty because your child eats too much junk food or fast food, there is no need to feel so bad because junk food is not poison. You can treat this type of food as a prize for your child, but not as a daily meal. If you still feel that you owe your children, you can research what relatively healthy foods are available in fast food restaurants. Or, you can research which healthy family recipes are easy to make. When it comes to junk food for kids, like so many other things in life, the key is moderation, not complete elimination. \’My kids are always in front of screens\’ Some experts believe that electronics are the root of all evil—that they contribute to obesity, ADHD, and many, many other problems. Of course, some of this may be true, but sometimes a little chutzpah is necessary. It\’s all about balance. If your child binge-watches TV shows for several days in a row, you should give him a break. But if your child only plays with electronics for an hour a night or watches a movie on the weekend, that\’s within the realm of moderation and no need to make a fuss. You have to make sure your child has other activities besides electronics. For example, running or doing housework are good for your mind and body. You can also turn watching TV into a meaningful educational activity by snuggling up next to your child while he or she watches TV. You can ask your child about the plot of the TV show to help him connect the story with reality. \”I often yell at my children.\” No matter how good-tempered a parent is, he will yell at his children from time to time. And sometimes parents need to yell at their kids. For example, if your child kicks a soccer ball into the street, don\’t worry about the volume. Before anything happens to him, yell and remind him to get back to the sidewalk. However, if yelling becomes a normal part of your life, you need to reflect on whether you are under too much pressure, or whether you don\’t know how to manage your temper, or whether you need to find more effective educational techniques. You can also seek the help of a professional counselor to help you find out why you cannot maintain emotional stability and how to be a cool mom and cool dad. It is necessary to reflect on the reasons why you yell. After all, yelling at children can damage their mental health. \”I can\’t give my children the best.\” Nowadays, children go to music classes, art classes, or various other cram schools after school. Raising children is much more expensive than before. Not only cram school, but you may not be able to take your children on vacation to Disney World or buy them the latest video games. Your child may be stuck wearing cheap clothes and drooling over the latest game from his rich classmate. In fact, childhood does not necessarily require too many flowers and candies. In fact, providing children with too much material satisfaction is problematic. If your child is spoiled, he may grow up to be too materialistic. If you don’t have the latest toys, take your children out to play becauseBecause it lets children\’s imaginations run wild, that\’s what\’s really important. You can also use your imagination to make low-cost toys, such as building a boat out of cardboard boxes or transforming a bed sheet into Superman\’s cape. Don\’t let your child think it\’s unfortunate that his family isn\’t as rich as others, but teach him to be grateful for what he already has and to focus on the golden years spent together as a family. \”I\’m not an all-powerful parent.\” Who says you must be an all-powerful parent? Don’t put pressure on yourself to be a super parent, super employee, don’t always want to be number one. While it\’s important to have a balanced life, that doesn\’t mean everything is of equal value. Some days, you need to focus more on your career, while other days, your family may need you more. You can\’t give 100% to everything. It is a good habit to be willing to ask for help. If others are willing to help, don\’t refuse to save face. Occasionally, you can also indulge, say no to the role of \”parent\”, and play like a fool with your children. Don\’t be nervous all the time and demand perfection in everything.