Whether a child\’s personality is good or not depends on how well his parents get along! No matter how busy you are, you still have to watch it

A child is the face of a family. His words, deeds, and actions reveal the upbringing of a family and subtly reflect the relationship between family members. For a well-mannered child, everyone thinks that his parents must be well-educated, sincere and simple; for a child who acts recklessly and even urinates everywhere in the restaurant, no one believes that his parents will be educated people. During the New Year\’s Day holiday, You\’s mother took Xiao You and grandma to go shopping, and at noon they had a meal at a pie fast food restaurant next to the supermarket. Sitting next to us is a couple and a pair of children. Grandma said with envy: One son and one daughter, they make a \”good\” family! But as soon as grandma finished speaking, the fuss started. This family of four came in with a supermarket shopping cart, blocking the aisle, making it very inconvenient for everyone. The little waitress saw this and went over to remind him with a smile. The mother temporarily put down her mobile phone and said impatiently: \”Where do you want me to put all the things in our car? We will leave after eating. You can go about your business!\” After a while, the father came back after ordering food. . As soon as the two children looked at the dishes, they probably didn\’t want anything to eat, so they started to make a fuss, throwing chopsticks and spoons, and even got into a fight over an egg tart. But the couple seemed invisible, playing with their mobile phones while eating, occasionally turning around and shouting: \”You two, be honest, get out of here if you don\’t want to eat!\” Seeing that no one was paying attention to him, the little boy stood up on his seat angrily, He took off his pants and peed in the aisle, splattering on the shoes of the people next to him. Everyone looked at this family of four with disgust. The boy\’s mother probably felt a little embarrassed, so she slapped her child on the butt and turned to his father and yelled: \”If you play with your phone again, I will throw it away from you. Watch your son and see if he can do it! He just knows how to play! I still want to play.\” Here! Stop eating, let’s go!” So ​​the family of four left the restaurant while making a fuss. The little waitress reluctantly brought a mop and cleaned up the urine on the floor… Actually, this is not the first time I have encountered such a situation. No matter at the station, hospital, or restaurant, you can always meet noisy children who are annoying. Behind these children, there is often a pair of parents who blame and complain about each other. Children never grow up alone. Their growth is a process of \”learning from others\”. The relationship between parents is the earliest interpersonal relationship that children come into contact with. In other words, how parents treat each other, children learn how to get along with others. Parents are loving, and their children have healthy and cheerful personalities. Parents are loving and respectful to each other. The most intuitive feeling conveyed to their children is: Dad loves mom, and they all love me! Children who grow up in such a warm and harmonious family atmosphere have a strong sense of security inside because they never worry that their parents will leave or the family will break up. Children with a sense of inner security are not only very confident, but also have a more positive and optimistic personality. The mutual respect and love between parents will deeply affect their children, allowing them to learn to care and be considerate of others when interacting with their friends, making it easier for them to integrate into the group. In addition, parental love is also conducive to cultivating healthy marriage and family concepts in children, making them more tolerant and responsible for their spouse. So if we meet in the futureIn-laws, you must pay attention to the relationship between the in-laws and the couple. If the two of them are close, their children will be good too. Tiger mother and cat father, boys are cowardly and have low self-esteem, and girls are overbearing and willful. The famous psychological counselor Teacher Fan Wei (a special lecturer in a must-read class for parents) once said: A strong mother is a disaster for boys. A healthy family has a generally clear \”gender division of labor\”: the father is the spiritual and financial supporter of the family, showing a more masculine and strong atmosphere; the mother is the logistics minister of the family, conveying gentleness, consideration and kindness to the children. The understanding side. As children grow up, they will also have the concept of \”same-sex identity\” and gradually find their own gender roles. In other words, boys will imitate their father more in behavior and personality; girls will imitate their mothers more. However, in some families, there will be an imbalance of gender roles: the mother is very strong, says everything, and controls and monitors everything; the father is relatively weak and is often criticized by the mother. The final result of this is that the boy becomes more and more as cowardly and inferior as his father; while the daughter will inherit her mother\’s strength and domineering nature and often talk back to her mother. Of course, we are not here to emphasize that \”men are superior to women\”, but we are just reminding everyone: if you are a parent, you must be strong, active, and work hard, and don\’t moan and complain all day long; if you are a mother, you can work hard in the workplace Be strong, but don’t ignore the tenderness that a mother’s love should have. Parents blame each other, and their children are rebellious and love to lie. When some parents quarrel, they always want to bring their children into their own \”camp\”, so they \”trouble\” each other in front of their children: \”Look at your mother, she is such a sloppy mother.\” You children, you only play mahjong all day long, and you don’t make meals or wash dishes, so what’s the use of marrying her?” “Look at your dad, you’re such a coward, you can’t make a few stinky money in a year by working around, and you still have nothing to lose. What a bad thing, I am really blind when I marry him!\”… However, the consequence of this is that the child gradually understands: neither of them are good people! It seriously reduces the prestige of parents in the hearts of their children. Eventually, the children become disrespectful and disrespectful of either parent, and often talk back to their parents. So here is a reminder: If you find that your child is rebellious and talks back, it may be that a quarrel between you and your husband has reduced your prestige in the child\’s heart, making the child dare to challenge you. Parents quarrel, children have bad tempers, and aloof personalities live together. It is impossible for a couple to live together without conflicts. There are so many trivial matters in life, and everyone has a time when the spoon hits the edge of the pot. But You Ma has always felt that the bottom line for couples to get along is not to fight when they quarrel: before fighting, it is a conflict, but once it starts, it becomes domestic violence, which is completely different in nature. For children, quarrels between parents are quite acceptable, and many sensible children will take the initiative to bring their parents together during the Cold War. But if the parents take action, the immediate feeling for the children is: Dad doesn’t love mom anymore, and if dad is hitting mom, they will hit me too. This has a really great impact and harm on the young minds of children. Children who grow up in such a violent family atmosphere will either learn to hurt others by being immersed in them, or they will learn to hurt others because of their inner feelings.The lack of sense of security makes them withdrawn, indifferent, and difficult to interact with others. Therefore, all parents (especially dads) must remember: the bottom line is not to take action when quarreling, because if you do it once, there will be a second and third time. Youma Naotao: The best father\’s love is to teach children to love their mother and be grateful for their mother\’s hard work, tenderness and thoughtfulness; the best maternal love is to teach their children to love their father and praise their father\’s strength, tolerance and broadmindedness.