Who should take care of the child in the most scientific way? No matter how difficult it is, please take care of your children by yourself

In the second half of 2018, I stumbled and struggled to move forward. At one or two o\’clock in the morning, the second child falls asleep and throws himself on the bed. His eyelids are so sleepy that he can\’t open his eyes, but his mind is unusually awake. Sometimes he is so tired that he is close to collapse. But when he wakes up at around six o\’clock the next day, he still has a conditioned reflex. I struggled to get up, otherwise I would delay the eldest son from going to school. If you ask a mother of two children when is the most difficult time, I don’t know when it is the most difficult, but now is definitely not a good time. During the day, I go to work on time, and I am very busy every day. I am busy until I get off work. I end my battle as a social person, rush out of the office, and rush to the subway home. Back home, another battlefield begins. The eldest son has just entered the first grade and has a lot of discomforts. He has unshakable homework every day. After experiencing a series of blows in the previous round, the eldest son must not relax in his studies. When the eldest child fell asleep, the second child\’s time had just begun. It was probably because he owed the second child a lot from going to work and accompanying the eldest child. The second child finally seized the time to play with him and was reluctant to sleep no matter what. Sometimes you see him rubbing his eyes, yawning, or even closing his eyes, but the next second, he jumps up quickly and starts playing with interest. The energy of the second child can be described as 5 minutes of charging and 8 hours of standby. Going to bed before twelve o\’clock in the evening is considered early going to bed. One or two o\’clock is normal, but two or three o\’clock is not impossible. Being in this state of tension and sleep deprivation for a long time can make people easily feel bad, and sometimes they can\’t help but lose their temper. Seeing my second child sleeping so late every day, my mother-in-law made a decisive decision: give her my second child and take her back to her hometown. After that, my second child will no longer sleep with me, but will adapt to sleeping with her. It will affect our ability to go to work the next day. The starting point was good, but as soon as I opened my mouth, my father rejected me. Of course, I also rejected it in my heart. Sometimes, when I accompany my baby in the early hours of the morning, I look at the darkness and sporadic lights outside the window, and I think to myself, \”Is it worth it to be so tired? Should I let go and let my second son go back to his hometown?\” But this thought was killed by myself before long. Another thought is extremely firm: \”No matter how hard it is, I must take care of the children myself.\” I am not brainwashed by various parenting concepts, but have truly experienced various pains of being separated from my children. After the eldest child was one year old, due to various reasons, his grandmother took him back to his hometown to raise him. He came back once a month, stayed there for a while, and then returned to his hometown. At first, I could live in my hometown for one month and here for one month, but later it became my hometown for two months and here for one or two weeks. How wonderful are the days when your children are not around? Imagine that although a woman is married and has a baby, she does not have the heavy task of looking after the baby or much housework when she returns home every year. The remaining time is her own. During those two years, I passed the judicial examination, from the suburbs to the city, and my figure returned to what it was before I had children. It feels good to have someone help look after the child, and the child will grow up without having to put in much effort. Those two years were indeed relatively easy, but what happened next made me regret coveting those two easy years. Some people say that whoever a child sleeps with is his child. This sentence is correct. After the child was one year old, she slept with her grandma. Even if she came back to me every other month, she wouldI still sleep with grandma every day. This situation lasted until she was five years old. That is to say, even if we picked her up after she was three years old and she started sleeping with me, she still decisively slept with her when she saw her grandma. This situation makes a mother\’s heart full of sourness. She is obviously her own child, but she always feels that she is separated from her by a layer. It was not until she stayed with her for two or three years that she regained that sense of intimacy. Children who have been away from their parents since childhood naturally lack a sense of security. After the eldest child was brought back when he was three years old, he would get up in the middle of the night and cry for an hour or two at a time. No reason could be found, and no method could solve it. It wasn\’t until a month or two later that she gradually recovered. Later I realized that the child lacked a sense of security. Only by holding her tightly could her crying situation get better. Children who grow up outside of themselves have many habits that they cannot understand and think they should be corrected. But the idea is good, but it is not that easy to change. You say it should be like this, and she said that this is how her grandma taught her. of. You say go east, but she goes west. In her heart, I have been like this before. Why do you care about me? Can you control me? Yes, if you are not familiar with every psychological change of your child and don\’t understand every growth of your child, it is indeed difficult to change your child\’s thoughts and habits through education. With these lessons, I firmly believe that the second child cannot leave our side no matter what. Of course, there are many practical difficulties in bringing the second child with you. For example, if you can take care of the second child, you cannot take care of the eldest child. It is difficult to balance the relationship between the two children. For example, family relationships are complex, getting along with the elderly, and conflicting concepts, especially in parenting. Conflicts in concepts; such as severe lack of sleep, lack of energy, no spare time, etc. These are all real problems. However, over the years, I have learned that raising children has an expiration date. If you do not participate in every step of his growth from an early age, wait until he is older and then try to accompany and educate him. Not to mention whether you can educate him well, the child will not be affected. Self-education is a problem. Therefore, no matter how difficult life is, I will take care of the children myself this time.