Why are we so tired of raising children, and you still think we have nothing to do?

In the past few days when there have been no updates, apart from reading and studying, the most important thing I have done is to have dinner with a few old friends I haven’t “dated” for a long time. One of them is a new mother with an 8-month-old baby. Because the elderly on both sides could not help, and she was worried about leaving the baby to a nanny, she quit her job after discussing it with her husband when she was six or seven months pregnant. During the confinement period, there is a confinement nanny at home, and the children eat and sleep, so life is not so hectic. However, after the child can turn over and eat complementary foods at 4 months, there are more and more things that need to be paid attention to: you need to prepare complementary foods for the child by yourself, and pay close attention to whether the child\’s delicate stomach can accept the newly added food; you must hold the child in your arms at all times Carry a towel on her back or on her hand to prevent her from falling off the bed or getting her feet stuck in the crib rail; she goes out twice a day to bask in the sun and replenish calcium… Because she is too busy and tired, and cannot rest well at night, her temper changes. It was very bad; at first, my husband was coaxing me, but later he gradually showed his emotions of \”I just want to raise a child! I\’m showing off my bad face to everyone all day long.\” \”I feel like I\’m going to be depressed. The past few hours I\’ve been seeing you were all after I had a big fight with him and forced him to run away with the child.\” She held the juice cup and said this with her hands A little shaky. I felt very sad after hearing what she said. She used to never go out without makeup, but today she just casually wore a loose T-shirt and the leggings she wore when she was pregnant. As society has developed to this day, we are much more tolerant of many things than in the past, but the prejudice against stay-at-home mothers has never disappeared. We feel that they \”do not seek advancement\”, \”live on men\” and are \”worthless\”… These opinions come from outsiders, Perhaps it is impossible to destroy a mother\’s self-confidence, but when the person beside her also expresses this kind of \”contempt\”, the feelings of grievance, unwillingness, and self-denial are either suppressed in the heart, or anger erupts like a volcano. I have written a lot of topic outlines in the past few days, but I put this one as the first one today because I want to let everyone understand earlier how hard a full-time mother\’s day is – during the period when the maternity leave is about to end, Dad Zhe I left for work around 7:00 in the morning and got home around 7:30 in the evening. I took care of my children alone for more than 12 hours, and I felt like I was going to collapse from exhaustion. Based on my friends and my own experience, I sorted out a mother’s day alone with her baby. This is also a true portrayal of many full-time mothers – babies who are weaned from night feeding between 5:00 and 6:00 often wake up during this time. , mothers of breastfed babies will breastfeed directly, while mothers of formula-fed babies have to get up to make milk. To prevent tooth decay in children, rinse your mouth with water after drinking milk. Some babies continue to sleep after drinking milk, and some babies will directly resurrect with full blood, babbling and asking their mothers to play with them. In order not to disturb the husband, some families choose to share a bedroom for the mother and baby, and a separate bedroom for the father; some mothers are afraid that the child will affect the husband\’s rest, and will directly take the child to another room to play when he wakes up. 6:00~7:00 After the father goes to work, the mother washes the child\’s face, hands, changes clothes, feeds water, and wipes her face casually. She has no time to apply skin care products and is called over by the child\’s crying; the older child , the mother has to go to the kitchen to make breakfast while holding her child – when we go out to eat, who knows what raw materials the restaurant uses. 7:00~8:00 Breakfast time, mother can’t eat more than a few bites, so she has to help her child clean up the battlefield. Babies who are used to sitting on dining chairs will throw the food in their hands down countless times when they are in a space-sensitive period, causing it to break. laugh. Mothers who are not used to sitting on dining chairs often choose to feed their children because they don’t want their children to go hungry. Mixed in between are those who suddenly pee or poop and need to change clothes or diapers; those who suddenly fall and cry loudly and need to be comforted. But there is one thing that mothers are basically the same about: they have to go back and forth countless times for a meal and can\’t take more than a few bites. 8:00~10:00 In the spring and summer, it is not too hot outside during this period. You should take your children outdoors as soon as possible to get more sun, which is good for their growth. Every time I go out, I have to bring a bag full of things: water bottles, snacks and fruits for meals, diapers, extra clothes, sun protection hats, wet wipes, paper towels, balls, small toys…it just seems like a list. , each item eats away at the mother’s energy. When you go out, you have to keep an eye on the active babies to prevent them from knocking or bumping into each other – some fathers usually don\’t pay much attention to their children. Once the child is injured, they will definitely blame the mother for not taking good care of them; they must also prevent the children from hitting or being hit. , if the other party is unreasonable, it will cause a fierce battle. 10:00~11:00 I am afraid that my children will be exposed to the sun. The sun is too poisonous and I have to go home quickly. Before going home, I often encounter resistance from the children. They either cry and don\’t want to go back, or they are rude to their mothers. On the way home, go to the supermarket near your home to buy fresh ingredients to make complementary food or lunch for your children. Programs during this time period often include reading picture books to children, playing games with them on the floor, or listening to children\’s songs with them. From 11:00 to 12:00, mothers make lunch for their babies. In order to ensure the safety of their babies, mothers will hold their babies directly or let them play in their sight. There will be accidents from time to time, such as peeing, pooping, knocking, touching, being unable to handle a toy, being frightened by something… Even if the food is in the critical heat, you must turn off the heat immediately and deal with it. 12:00~13:00 Lunch time. The baby is relatively tired at this time and will be a little more honest when eating. Damn it, here comes the problem again: they often sleep on the dining chair after eating, with bibs hanging around their necks, rice grains or hazelnuts in the corners of their mouths, noodles in their hands, and plates covered with horrible food… The mother must stop eating, clean up the baby first, and put the baby on the bed to sleep beautifully: make the crib, take off the bib, wipe the face, apply oil, change pajamas, change diapers… a series of ten minutes In the past, I lost my appetite for eating. Some babies with high needs sleep soundly in the dining chair and wake up as soon as they are put down. They need their mother to be by their side to sleep soundly. So, many, many mothers’ lunches turned into “naps”. 13:00~15:00 is the happiest time for mothers when their children are sleeping. But at this time, the mother needs to take advantage of the child\’s sleep to wash the pots and pans in the morning and noon, wash the bottles and water cups, clean up the messy room, prepare the fruits and snacks for the child, and then Prepare the meals for the evening… The mother who is already very tired often has to finish the work before she finishes it.Hearing the cries of angels… Yes, taking a nap at noon is a luxury dream for mothers, unless they coax themselves to sleep when they are coaxed to sleep. From 15:00 to 18:00, the baby wakes up and another round of busyness begins: drinking water, wiping face, washing hands, eating fruits, snacks, playing with toys, and telling a few stories. When it\’s not hot outside, go for outdoor activities to strengthen your physical fitness, cultivate your children\’s social awareness, and improve their ability to get along with their friends. Before going out, I made careful preparations just like in the morning. During the time period from 18:00 to 20:00, many fathers come home from get off work. Regardless of whether they take care of their children carefully or not, they finally have someone to help them. Hurry up and give him the child and make dinner for a family of three. During cooking, be prepared to rush out of the kitchen at any time. Unexpected incidents often occur when the child stops following the father, poops or pees, the child rolls over and cannot put on the diaper, or the father ignores the child because he is looking at his mobile phone. , the child fell… 20:00~22:00 is the time when babies fall asleep. For a few months, this time has to be pushed back by about an hour, especially if they are too excited to go out and play. She is often too sleepy to open her eyes, but she never wants to sleep. She keeps asking: read another book, and then read one book after another until my mother\’s mouth is dry; play for a while longer, and then play endlessly. ;Listen to another song, and then one after another… As long as dad makes a sound in the middle, they will get up and observe to see what happens. From 22:00 to 1:00 in the morning, when the child is asleep, this is the time that the mother truly belongs to herself in the day. But at this time, the clothes in the washing machine may not have been dried, the baby bottles to be used the next morning have not been cleaned and disinfected, the pots in the kitchen have not been washed, the floor in the room has not been swept or wiped, and the toys have not been cleaned. It’s still a mess. The closet is messy because my husband is looking for clothes for the next day. There are balls, towels, clothes for adults or children scattered on the sofa, cigarettes and lighters that my husband accidentally dropped… Everything is done, no matter how small it is. , before lying on the bed, it was past 12:00. If you want to reply to a message, you often fall asleep before even chatting for a few words… This kind of deep sleep often only lasts for two or three hours. Children who have not been weaned from night feeding may need to drink milk, and children who drink too much water before going to bed may need to change their milk. Diapers, children who are stimulated during the day may wake up crying in nightmares… Yes, before the child is about two years old, mothers often sleep less than four or five hours. Even if gray hair appears, wrinkles grow, and depression occurs, there are still too many people in this world who do not realize their value. For example, in the house my colleague rented, the man worked full time and the woman took care of her two-year-old daughter full-time. When she came back to see that the meal was not ready, she yelled: \”I work hard at work to make money, and you stay home all day to take care of the child.\” How can we still live this life if we can\’t even take a bite of hot food?\” I don\’t know if the couple eventually fell into an endless cycle of quarreling. But if a man truly loves a woman, he should be filled with love and understanding after knowing how hard it is for his wife to raise children. In the first half year after the child is born, around 2 years old, and around 3 years oldNow, I am working as a stay-at-home mother, and I encounter a lot of confusion and doubts – when, when a woman makes a choice and people around her treat them with respect, equality is truly achieved. I wish this world could have more understanding and care for all the mothers in the world: stay-at-home mothers have a hard time raising their children 24 hours a day, and mothers who work hard in the workplace and raise their children have the same hard work. No matter what kind of lifestyle they choose, they care about their children. , the love for family has never been less.