Why can’t children be prohibited from playing with mobile phones during summer vacation? This article explains it all

At a family gathering a while ago, my younger brother complained to everyone: My 10-year-old nephew checks his cell phone as soon as school is over and is often amused by funny jokes. At first, the younger brother didn\’t pay attention, but when he saw his son playing a game and failing to pass the level and slapping himself wildly, he panicked. In the Internet age, our children are destined to grow up with mobile phones. In the subway, on the bus, in the streets, and even at family gatherings, we often see children immersed in browsing their mobile phones. The 2023 China Internet Network Information Center survey shows that the number of netizens in my country reached 1.067 billion, and netizens under the age of 19 accounted for 18.7%. According to data from the National Health Commission, the incidence of excessive Internet addiction among adolescents in my country is close to 10%, with 1 in 10 children suffering from the disease. Teacher Fan Deng also gave the child a mobile phone. But he said, if you bought a car for your child, would you just hand him the car keys and say, \”Let\’s drive\”? of course not. You will take him to a driving school to learn, or even sit with him in the passenger seat, and watch him become familiar with the conditions of the car before you feel comfortable letting him go on the road alone. The dangers of losing control and addiction to mobile phones are comparable to driving without a license. In \”Screen Age, Reshaping Children\’s Self-Control\” interpreted by Teacher Fan Deng, Shimi Kang, MD, Harvard University, told us: Just like learning to drive, we must learn to control the mobile phone with our children, so that we can seek advantages, avoid disadvantages, and enjoy The benefits of technology. Children trapped in mobile phones, the problem lies outside the mobile phone. Recently, the news that \”a child recharged tens of thousands of yuan to play games, and his father slapped himself repeatedly\” has caused heated discussion. Economist He Fan said that a colleague would pack up all the mobile phones and iPads at home before going to work, but the child would always find a way to play for a while. In order to \”seize\” mobile phones from their children, many parents have tried their best, but with little success. Why? Psychologist Shen Jiahong said that the Internet symbolizes intimacy. If children cannot find intimacy in reality, they can only find it on the Internet and games. If they have more than three friends in their lives, they will not have Internet addiction. Mobile games are just a \”refuge\” for children. He Fan researched at the Pioneer School in Chengdu and found that playing games is actually a course. Not only can you earn credits, but the teacher will also provide training. At first, the children played happily, but after half a year or a year, many children got tired of it. There is a child who has played many games and is still an amateur. It turns out that he only formed teams to make friends and never thought about game tactics. After some analysis, the child finally realized that in addition to making friends through games, there are many ways to make friends. He discovered that he actually liked paying attention to people\’s hearts, so he majored in psychology in college. You see, it is better to block than to remove, and to remove is worse than guiding. There was a time when the son of Olympic champion Deng Yaping was obsessed with games. Deng Yaping did not blame, but said: If you like playing games, you can take the path of professional e-sports. She took her son to visit two top e-sports clubs to learn about their training methods. When he learned that e-sports training required 12 hours a day, his son immediately gave up. In fact, the reasons why children are addicted to mobile phones vary. We might as well reflect on this: Some people use mobile phones as a tool to coax children, making children dependent on electronic products and unable to adapt to real life. Some people are scrolling through their mobile phones while urging their children to read and write homework, which is the child’s mistake.example. Someone creates conflicts and tension at home, making children want to avoid pain and seek comfort. Also, under the measurement of a learning standard, children are under great pressure: a sick child endures a headache, takes an intravenous drip with one hand, and writes homework with the other hand. Children wearing small glasses rush into talent classes as soon as they leave school. There are no weekends or holidays. They have no worries about food and clothing, but they do not have simple, relaxing happiness and freedom. \”The Power of Habit\” tells us that the most effective way to change a bad habit is to establish a good habit to replace it. If we want children to put down their mobile phones, we must first put them down, let go of old ideas, and admit that every child has different talents, personalities, and dreams. Spend more company and exercise, use experience instead of reasoning, use communication instead of scolding, care and reduce stress, and prescribe the right medicine, so that children can face their hearts and explore a path that suits them. He Lingfeng, a professor of hierarchical psychology, said that whether a child can control his or her mobile phone determines whether 2021 is the \”first year of the metaverse\”. In less than 10 years, the virtual world will become the main world of young people, which means that children\’s learning, communication, Work is done online. It is foolish not to allow children to access the Internet. Children must be able to develop self-management skills on screens before they enter adolescence. \”Changsha Evening News\” told a true story: 18-year-old Mengmeng was admitted to a prestigious school in Beijing from the county town with excellent results. She was released after the college entrance examination, but fell into a \”trap\” as soon as she came into contact with mobile games. When she was a freshman, she was not interested in studying. She played three mobile games together and the school invited her parents three times. Later, her parents accompanied her to study, but she remained the same. Her parents had no choice but to let her drop out of school. Mobile phones are like a double-edged sword. The ability to control the screen is accelerating the stratification of children and widening the gap between them. Liu Mengfei started playing games at the age of 4 under the guidance of her father, a gamer. In her eyes, playing games is the same as watching movies and reading novels. Before taking a world geography class, open the game \”Navigation\” and sail around the city you want to study to see the economic crops. She went all the way to Beijing Normal University and Tsinghua University, and opened the country\’s first graduate-level game studies course at Beijing Normal University. He once served as the vice chairman of the Chinese Electronic Game Research Association and is now the president of the Game and Society Research Association. He has organized 4 international game annual conferences. An out-of-control mobile phone is a \”disruptor\” for children; a controlled mobile phone is a \”multiplier\” for children. So, how to use mobile phones to help children grow? Dr. Wei, a brain scientist at Peking University, shared how to help his daughter control the screen: 1. Limit the time the child spends watching the screen each time and the total time spent watching the screen every day. In the past, Dr. Wei stipulated that his daughter should play for 5 minutes at a time, which was extended to 10 minutes after she turned 5 years old. The total time per day should not exceed half an hour. After long-term implementation, my daughter has developed a habit and has self-control, and she will stop when the point is reached. 2. Limit the scenarios to clarify the situations in which the use of electronic products is not allowed. Dr. Wei has set up several \”electronic device-free zones\” at home; he does not watch mobile phones or TV during meals; he does not play with electronic products within an hour before going to bed. When he takes his daughter to a dinner party with friends, he will prepare toys or drawing notebooks to prevent her from getting bored and wanting to play with her mobile phone. 3. Provide alternatives for electronic devicesDr.Wei said this is the most difficult and most useful aspect. The best way is to exercise. If there are fun things in life, the child will be happy inside and will not be addicted to mobile phones. Sooner or later, our children will have to fly alone in the online world. Only by teaching children to control their mobile phones can they avoid numerous traps, avoid open and hidden arrows, and fly higher and farther. Teaching children to control their mobile phones means teaching them to control their lives. Let’s first tell a story: In 1981, American psychologist Alexander conducted a famous “Rat Paradise” experiment. At that time, experiments had already shown that rats could become addicted to morphine. However, Alexander released 16 mice from the cage and arranged them into a large room with brightly colored walls, moderate temperature, plants, running water, various toys, and also placed tap water and morphine water. The mice played freely and were willing to drink tap water. Occasionally, a mouse would try morphine water with added sugar, and soon return to tap water, even if the morphine water was added with more sugar. There is no earnest education, nor is the addictive coffee water removed. The environment has changed, the mood has changed, and the mice have also changed. It can be seen that addiction ≠ addictive substance. How to let children control their mobile phones and develop healthy habits? \”Screen Age, Reshaping Children\’s Self-Control\” gives us four suggestions: 1. Give priority to cultivating three abilities and evaluate whether children have three abilities: emotional regulation ability, social skills, and time management ability. Before giving the child a mobile phone, teacher Fan Deng deliberately conducted a conversation to evaluate it; after giving the child a mobile phone, he would continue to observe the status. Children have three abilities if they know how to communicate, negotiate and solve problems, know how to make friends and have fun, and can learn to play and rest on time. 2. Try to delay the use of mobile phones. Children under 2 years old are not recommended to use electronic products; children between 2 and 5 years old should limit their use to less than one hour a day; children of other age groups should arrange their use in a planned way. Jobs, Bill Gates, and parents in the Silicon Valley technology industry all control their children\’s screen time. Some parents also hire \”screen-free parenting coaches\” and \”screen management nannies.\” 3. Establish a family agreement when children are alone without using mobile phones, and clearly indicate prohibited areas and prohibited times. For example, it is not used for meals, homework, or bedroom. When children use electronic products, parents should be present and participate in discussions to help children identify problematic content and select age-appropriate, high-quality programs to ensure healthy use. 4. Become a role model for your children. The media once conducted a survey on 200 parents of primary school students and found that as many as 45% of parents spend more time playing with mobile phones than spending time with their children. Teaching by example speaks louder than words. Parents should use high-quality companionship to bring their children to experience life, so that their children can feel the care of their parents, the hardships of life, and the reality of human nature. Love like spring breeze and rain is the most powerful education. Raising children is a spiritual practice. No mobile phone can take away children, only parents who give their children to mobile phones. I hope every parent can learn to control their mobile phone with their children just like learning to drive. May our children have love in their hearts and light in their eyes, walk with the times, and have a bright future. Click \”Like\” and encourage all parents.