Why can\’t we cry \”poor\” to our children? This is the most rational answer I\’ve ever seen…

Mom, is our family very poor? Before going to bed, my son blinked and asked me. I was confused and didn’t know why my 5-year-old son asked this. Grandma said you only have 20 cents. Mom, don’t be sad. I will spend all the money in the piggy belly for you tomorrow. It\’s really killing me, and I have to live to the point where I have to rely on the money in my son\’s piggy bank for relief. Seeing his son\’s expression of hatred for \”mom\”, he almost spit out a mouthful of blood. Alas, talking too much brings tears to my eyes. A few days ago, I was scolded by my mother in a video. She found out through Moments that I not only bought a new car, but also took my children to travel all over the world. Look at you, how old are you? I don’t know how to be more frugal. Our family is poor and I can’t help you with anything. You have to get snacks and save more money. Don’t spend 30 cents when you have 20 cents all day long. My daughter, our family is poor and we can’t afford this. In order to support you in college, your father and I took out the coffin book. You can’t marry this man. Our family is poor and we can’t afford to be high…About \”poverty\” I have really heard enough about this topic. Ever since I was little, spending money has been a crime for me. Even if you have money after working, buying clothes or gifts for your parents is still the same as being a thief. Someone who says 1,000 says 300, someone who says 200 says 50, and someone who says 100 says 20. My filial piety has been greatly reduced, but my mother still scolds me: My family is poor, so don’t buy these useless things. In fact, my family is not so \”poor\” that we have to live frugally and live in a pinch. However, my mother\’s character of getting along has made her particularly stingy. Not to mention that I was reluctant to spend money on myself, which also made me feel as guilty as if I was exploiting her. What a painful experience: Parents crying \”poor\” in front of their children is the most failed family education. It is right for parents to teach their children to be diligent and frugal and not to be extravagant and wasteful. However, if they use too much force, this poverty-stricken education will be counterproductive and make the children really \”poor\” when they grow up. Most of the time, parents cry poverty to their children, just hoping that the children can understand their parents\’ hard work and understand the difficulties at home, so as to cultivate their sense of thrift and raise a promising child. But crying \”poor\” also requires skills. Parents crying \”poor\” without any taboo will not only fail to achieve the purpose of education, but will also destroy their children. There is a term in the psychology of poverty called \”scarcity mentality\”, which was proposed by Harvard University economics professor Sedhir Mullainason. He found that people who have been in a state of scarcity for a long time will slowly be changed by the environment and gradually form a scarcity mentality. That is, \”the more something is missing, the more we care about it.\” Many people cannot get rid of the plight of having no money. The key to the problem is not poverty, but their mentality. Even if they get a lot of money, they are still essentially \”poor\”. Because this kind of person is not poor in body, but poor in heart. There is still a chance for a comeback even if you are poor physically. Once a person becomes poor mentally, he may remain poor for several generations. There are two corrupt officials in the anti-corruption drama \”In the Name of the People\”, which is impressive. One is Zhao Dehan, who was greedy for \”239,995,400 yuan\” but lived in a dilapidated house and ate fried noodles. The money he embezzled was enough to build a wall, but he said, \”Forefathers haveWe are all farmers, so we are afraid of poverty,” so we didn’t even dare to spend a penny. The other is Qi Tongwei, the director of the Public Security Department who was born into a poor man. He well explained the meaning of the saying \”One person can achieve enlightenment, a chicken or a dog ascends to heaven.\” Relatives and neighbors have all found official positions thanks to him, and he almost got the village dog to work as a police dog in the police station. They are noble and glittering in front of people, but they are extremely poor inside, locked by an invisible \”heart lock\”, and that lock is \”heart poverty\”. \”My family is poor, and I will rely on you to shine in the future.\” This concept of \”poor people\” has been deeply rooted in my bones. Even though the sparrow turned into a phoenix later, he still lived his life as a slave to money. In the end, the only thing poor people see in their eyes is money. I have a friend who was emotionally poor. His family conditions were not very good when he was a child. When he was in junior high school, his family had another car accident, and he suddenly lost a lot of money. During his college years, he worked hard during the work-study program, delivering posters, leaflets, and even doing odd jobs at construction sites. The money he earned through hard work paid off his family\’s debts. He said that he would never forget what his mother told him in tears: Our family is poor and you are the eldest son of the family. From now on, the family will depend on you. He has become the \”man in charge\” of his family, but no one knows that he has low self-esteem in terms of relationships. He has a very close female classmate and they like each other, but he feels that he is \”too poor\” and cannot give the girl the future she wants. When he finally paid off his family\’s debts, had some savings, and was ready to confess his love to his female classmate, she was ready to get married. If he hadn\’t been overwhelmed by poverty, if he hadn\’t been concerned about face, how could the groom be someone else? Being \”poor\” makes him feel that even talking about relationships is a luxury. Yu Hongmin, who has a poor structure, said: A family that cares about everything and takes advantage cannot produce a child with a broad mind. It is difficult for us to find a child with elegance and purity in a mediocre family. When I was renting a house, I shared a house with a family of three. The man was a driver, and the woman stayed at home full-time with a little boy about 4 years old. I often hear women educating their children like this: Be good, we won’t buy that toy, we don’t have money. You\’ve wasted it again. Do you know how expensive food is? More than once, I met her in the supermarket trying fruit, cheese, bread, etc. with her children. Under the influence of his ears and eyes, the child has also been infected with some bad habits. He always takes the fruits and milk I put in the refrigerator without saying hello. He thinks that these can be free samples like in supermarkets. To this day, I worry about that child\’s future. Poverty is not scary. What is scary is not only the lack of money, but also the lack of education. Good parents never cry poverty to their children. They understand the principle of raising children in poverty and raising a heart in wealth. No matter how hard, tired or difficult it is for you, you will always look calm in front of your children. In the Indian movie \”Starting Line\”, Shyam, who was born in a poor family, set a good example for us. Although Shyam is poor, he has many shining points. He is kind and upright, and takes the initiative to help the newly moved neighbors learn how to be poor, teaching them how to make money, fetch water, and buy food. In order to help his neighbor raise his daughter\’s school fees, he even risked his life to touch porcelain, and then gave all the compensation he received to his neighbor. When you knowWhen his son didn\’t get a spot in a prestigious school, he was so sad that he cried bitterly. But when his neighbor came to persuade him, he stopped being sad and comforted his neighbor: That\’s how poor people are, they don\’t rejoice in things and don\’t feel sad about themselves. And what awes me the most about him is his son’s education. He squatted down, put his hands on his son\’s shoulders, and said word for word: You are the luckiest child. Whether you are admitted to the school does not determine whether you are lucky. It is the school\’s bad luck. You are the luckiest. How do you explain the concept of poverty to your children? Shyam redefined the concept of \”poverty\” with practical actions. Even if a person is in a slum, he must be a spiritually rich person. His bravery, integrity, kindness, empathy, and positive and sunny attitude will be reflected in his children and will illuminate his future path. Because, compared to going to a prestigious school, this kind of spiritual nourishment from the inner world of parents is more precious. A family can be poor materially, but not spiritually poor. We can be poor in economy, but we must be rich in structure, education, and three outlooks. The mother of the 14-year-old girl Yin Xiya in \”Mysterious Superstar\” is also a mother struggling on the poverty line. For her daughter\’s music dream, she sold her only gold necklace and replaced it with a laptop. In the end, she even fell out with her husband for the sake of her daughter\’s future, and bravely headed for a new life with her two children. We can\’t live without your father. How can we live without him? Without any financial resources, she once said this in despair, but in order to prevent Yin Xiya from repeating the tragedy of \”daughters from poor families have only one way to marry\”, she fought hard. I can\’t give you a better life, but I will give you freedom within my ability. She spent her whole life as a mother to protect her daughter\’s dream. Mom, does our family have no money? I think I\’ve found the answer to this question. I will squat down and tell my children solemnly, yes, although your parents are not wealthy people, we will do our best to let you live a carefree life. Adults will solve their problems, you just need to do what you like happily. The smartest way to cry \”poor\” is to tell your children to do what you like and become the person you want to be. Because this is happier than being a rich man.