Why do children become less worried when they grow up?

A good child actually lives in his parents\’ outlook on life. He is like a monkey in a cage. If he is depressed for a long time, he will either suffer from depression or he will explode! Children who are \”too obedient\” don\’t get any candy! Both the Chinese Analects and the Western Bible emphasize that children should listen to their parents. Children who are obedient will be praised and praised by people no matter where they are: Be obedient at home: Your parents will love you because you have good academic performance, often help your parents with housework, and do not make your parents angry. Be obedient in school: teachers will like you, classmates will welcome you, your popularity will be very high, and you will become a central figure. Be obedient in society: Because you know how to respect others, everyone will praise you, and you will have strong execution ability when you grow up. It is true that \”good children\” worry less than \”naughty children\”, but a moment of worry may bring a lifetime of worry! \”Good Child\” Psychological Survey German psychologist Haicha conducted a follow-up survey on 200 children aged 2-5. Among these 200 children, 100 had a strong tendency to resist, while the other 100 did not have such a tendency. When these children reached adolescence, Haicha found that 84% of the former were strong-willed, independent, and had the ability to independently analyze, judge things, and make decisions, while only 26% of the latter were strong-willed, and the rest Unable to make decisions or bear independent responsibilities when encountering problems. The results of this experiment are astonishing. It seems to be a slap in the face to many parents who like \”good children\” because, overall, not many of the \”good children\” truly become social elites and industry leaders. Most of them work in ordinary labor positions. . 1. If children are too obedient, they will lose their creativity. It is the nature of children to be naughty and active, which is also the bud of the development of creativity. However, parents always hope that their children will follow the rules and be obedient. They will not tolerate the slightest naughtiness and can often manage it. Dead, too many restrictions stifle children\’s creativity. 2. Too obedient, children lack independence. Most \”good children\” only know how to be obedient and obedient. If they have problems, they cannot raise them or dare not raise them. If you say something, they will go east, and if you say something west, they will go west, even if they don\’t feel good about it. Satisfied people will also listen and obey other people\’s ideas. Such children rely on their parents for everything, have no independence, and lack personal insights into all issues. Whether in study or after entering society, they often show weaknesses such as poor adaptability, rigidity, and a dislike of using their brains. 3. Too obedient, the child is timid and fearful and only emphasizes \”obedience\”, causing the child to be overly dependent on his parents, making the child unable to develop a self-reliant, independent and independent personality, resulting in poor ability to interact with others, inability to fight against evil forces, and even Character distortion may occur due to long-term depression. Dialectical view of children\’s \”goodness\” The \”too obedient\” children mentioned here do not have sweets to eat. This does not mean that disobedient and naughty children are better behaviors, but we must not simply revel in children\’s obedience. Mother must observe your child to see what kind of \”good behavior\” he has: ① Is the child acting \”good\” by suppressing his own thoughts in order to please adults? ② Or is the child\’s psychology very well satisfied since he was a child, and he does not need to fight to realize his will at all? These two kinds of \”good guys\” can be distinguished if you observe them carefully.Don\’t come out. For example, when a child is obedient and sensible, is he nervous, with timid eyes, or is he very relaxed and happy? If your child falls into the latter category, it is the result of a quality education. And if it belongs to the former, then please check carefully to see what kind of problems the adults closest to the child have in interacting with the child, which makes the child feel pressured, unable to express and realize his own will, and needs to distort his own thoughts. to cater to the needs of adults. Giving children a little space to be \”disobedient\” shows that using \”obedience\” as the goal of educating children is obviously a misunderstanding and is not conducive to the development of children\’s personality and the stimulation of their potential. Experience has proven that \”naughty\” children are more creative, because such children have a wide range of exposures and their brains receive more stimulation, which activates their intelligence. Therefore, giving children a little \”disobedience\” is good for improving children\’s creativity. Where is the line between being obedient and disobedient? Parents should establish the principles for disciplining their children in advance and grasp the boundaries between \”obedient\” and \”disobedient\”: ① Disobedience is a moral issue – firmly opposed. When children are young, they are mainly obedient and must develop good behavioral habits. Especially moral issues must be dealt with seriously. Those who deserve criticism must be criticized and those who deserve punishment must be punished. ② It belongs to innocent and lively naughty-be more relaxed. Children\’s naughtiness is not entirely a moral issue. There is a physiological basis for naughtiness. Parents can \”turn a blind eye or close one eye.\” ③Those who are disobedient in thinking and have unique insights – support and encourage. Parents should give their children more time and space, allowing them to imagine, move, and create freely. Encourage children to think about all questionable issues and have the courage to speak out. Dare to think, dare to speak, dare to do to create. Allow children to solve their own problems. Please click here to enter a picture description. When a child faces a problem, parents do not have to ask him to do what adults say, but can let him find a solution on his own: let him deal with disputes with children on his own. Let him decide whether he wants to greet the uncle or aunt he meets for the first time. Let him decide whether he wants to learn calligraphy, dance or Go… let him have the right to choose his own friends. Give him the right to cry and shed tears. Allow the child to \”disobey\” so that he has the opportunity to \”listen to himself\”. To master communication skills with children, please click here to enter a picture description. When children cannot solve problems on their own, parents should master communication skills with children and provide guidance skillfully: ① Avoid using a negative tone of voice. You cannot use \”You don\’t listen no matter how many times I tell you…\”, \”I order you…\”, \”I warn you…\”, \”You\’d better hurry up…\”, \”You have five seconds to…\” …\”, \”I\’ll count to one, two, three…otherwise…\”, \”You should…\” \”You let me down so much\”, \”You can\’t…\” etc. contain commands, orders, warnings, Negative tone of voice such as threats, blame, abuse, rejection, etc. ②When asking children to obey, use a consultative tone. For example: \”Can this be done like this?\” etc. This kind of expression will make the children feel that their parents respect them, thus guiding them toChildren think independently and take the initiative to handle things according to their own will. To cultivate independent children, please click here to enter a picture to describe children’s independence. It is not something that can be achieved immediately, but is gradually cultivated in life: ① Create more opportunities for children to exercise, and don’t do everything. Generally speaking, after a child is two years old, parents should help the child gradually learn to eat, dress, put away toys, etc. by doing these small things within their ability to help the child gradually establish a sense of independence. ②Give children ample rights to choose and develop decision-making abilities from an early age. Parents usually need to seek more opinions from their children. For example, parents can let their children decide what kind of clothes to wear; they can let their children choose their own hobbies; they can work with their children on the layout of the room, the selection of furniture, the decoration of fabrics, etc. Plan design plans, respect children\’s ideas, encourage children to put forward their own suggestions, carefully consider children\’s suggestions and adopt them. \”Being obedient\” is not the highest standard for judging \”good children\”, and \”naughty\” children are not necessarily problem children. Give children a little freedom to \”disobey\” and let them become independent and creative individuals. .