Why do we work so hard to raise our children, but their children don’t appreciate, appreciate, or understand us?

A rebellious little boy ran away from home after a quarrel with his mother. After walking for a long time, it was getting late and he was tired and hungry. I saw a noodle shop on the roadside and was about to go in to eat some noodles, but I realized I didn’t have any money with me. The noodle shop is run by a kind old woman. Seeing the helpless look on the little boy\’s face, she asked: \”Child, do you want some noodles?\” The little boy said, \”Yes, but I didn\’t bring any money.\” The old lady said, \”Then I\’ll treat you to some noodles!\” , cooked a bowl of hot egg noodles. The little boy devoured the food greedily. He just moved a few chopsticks when he started crying. When asked why, the little boy said: \”I was so moved that I cried. We have never met, but you are so kind to me. But my mother actually kicked me out of the house and said that I would never go home if I could!\” The old lady heard this. He said earnestly: \”My child, why do you think so? Think about it, I just cooked a bowl of noodles for you, and you are so grateful to me, then your mother has been cooking rice for you for more than ten years. \”Eat, why aren\’t you grateful to her? Why are you still quarreling with her?\” I am \”extremely grateful\” for the small favors given by others, but \”turn a blind eye\” to the lifelong kindness of my relatives. In life, such situations happen frequently. Many parents care about their children in every possible way, but their children are often ungrateful, ungrateful, and uncomprehensive, and may even yell at their parents and glare at them. A mother said: \”My son is 13 years old this year. I have worked very hard to take care of him every day since he was a child. From food and daily life to study guidance and interest cultivation, I have taken care of everything. But the child is very indifferent. He didn\’t appreciate everything I did. Sometimes I complained that he didn\’t understand my hard work, but he said impatiently, \”You did it yourself, and I didn\’t ask you to do it.\” I was angry and chilled, why didn\’t the child Do you know how to be grateful?\” Why are children not grateful? One of the reasons is that we are too selfless! We soak our children in a honeypot and respond to their requests, so that the children feel that their parents\’ efforts are taken for granted. \”You should be nice to me. If you can\’t meet my requirements, you will feel sorry for me. I will hate you and I will take revenge!\” People are always like this. Those who get it easily don\’t know how to cherish it; those who have gone through hardships will not be cherished. Only then did I realize that it was hard to come by. what to do? One of the methods is to change from \”honey education\” to \”salt education\”. The taste of salt is far inferior to that of honey, but it is an indispensable element in life. If a person wants to grow up healthily, he must consume an appropriate amount of salt. For children, it is to let them suffer a little, sweat a little, and experience firsthand how difficult life is. In \”Journey to the West\”, Tathagata possesses the Tripitaka Scripture. He originally planned to send the Scripture to the Eastern Land of the Tang Dynasty, but found that the people there were stupid, slandered the truth, and did not know how to cherish it at all. So, the Tathagata used a little trick. He said: \”Go to the east to find a good believer and teach him to travel through thousands of mountains and thousands of rivers to come to me to obtain the true scriptures.\” You have to go through all kinds of disasters and even narrowly escape death. , Only then can we truly value and truly understand the scriptures we have learned. In this sense, Buddha is a good teacher who understands human nature and is extremely wise, and is worth learning from parents. I watched a very interesting short film. At the beginning of the movie, in order to prepare a perfect Christmas for the children, a group of adults were busyIt’s hard to get along: buying materials, inviting friends, making Christmas trees, cooking dinners… The adults are so busy that they feel dizzy, but the children feel very lost – no one talks to them, no one plays with them, and no one cares about their emotions. They couldn\’t understand why so much had to be done. It wasn\’t until the father was busy hanging the lanterns on the roof that he noticed the lonely and disappointed look in his daughter\’s eyes. At that moment, the father suddenly realized what his daughter wanted most. They put down their work and gave up the idea of ​​having a perfect Christmas. It didn’t matter if the Christmas tree wasn’t tall, or if the Christmas Eve dinner wasn’t sumptuous… What children want for Christmas is that their parents can concentrate on playing with them. Christmas! \”This is not necessary, and that is not necessary. There is only one thing I must do, to stay with you and be by your side, my child.\” Why doesn\’t the child appreciate it? The second reason is that we always \”do to others what we want to do to others.\” A little rabbit went fishing at the lake. He caught nothing on the first day and nothing on the second day. On the third day the fish jumped out of the water and said, \”Can you stop using carrots as bait?\” Many parents always impose what they think is best on their children, but never think about: Is what I give really what the child wants? If what you give him is not what he wants, but you insist on giving it to him, causing trouble and pressure to him, and you want him to listen to you, why should he be grateful and grateful? what to do? The second method is to change from \”standing education\” to \”squatting education\”. A mother took her child to a shopping mall, but the dazzling shopping mall did not arouse the child\’s interest. Instead, the child seemed very scared and cried to go home. Mom doesn’t understand, how can a child who always loves to play not like bustling shopping malls? When the mother knelt down and asked her child why, she suddenly understood: the shopping mall she could see from the child\’s height was only thighs that kept swinging, and large bags that kept shaking, and they were about to be bumped into if they were not careful. Very uncomfortable. \”Standing education\” means that parents look down at their children from an adult perspective and ignore them; \”squatting education\” means that parents learn to understand and respect their children from an eye-level perspective. What is “good” in the eyes of adults may not be as good as what adults think in the eyes of children. Instead, children have ideas of their own. Children\’s unique vision allows them to continuously feel the joy it brings. \”Don\’t impose on others what you want to do to yourself.\” Otherwise, parents will become barbarians in disguise, and what they will bring to their children will be spiritual constraints and spiritual shackles. In order to let students understand their mother and appreciate her kindness, a primary school teacher assigned the essay title \”Mother\’s Biography\”. She first asked the students to interview relevant people in advance, such as mother, grandmother, and father, to understand the mother from various aspects such as childhood, school, love, work, personality, hobbies, etc., and also taught the students some interview skills. A month later, when she opened the children\’s compositions with great anticipation, she felt mixed emotions. A child wrote in the form of a diary: In the morning, my mother pushed open my door and shouted to me: \”Get up.\” \”I know.\” I replied. \”Hurry up and brush your teeth, wash your face, and have breakfast.\” \”Oh!\” \”After breakfast, let\’s do it firstDo your homework and then go out to play. \”\”oh. \”…In the evening, at the dining table. My mother asked me: \”Have you finished your homework? \”\”finished. \”Don\’t play on the computer less today and go to bed early.\” \”Oh\”. After a long time, I heard my mother shouting in the living room: \”Go to bed!\” \”I got it, Mom.\” \”I closed the computer hard. The child kept writing like this for five days. He is still a relatively sensible child. Most students have nothing to write. They feel that life with their mother is so dull every day and there is nothing to write about. Why does the child Don’t understand your parents? The third reason is that we turn communication with children into education for them. As this teacher pointed out: “A child’s lack of gratitude stems from his lack of understanding of you; , because there is a problem with the communication between parents and children. \”There is news recently. When Fang Yue, an instructor of the Chongqing Patrol Brigade, arrived at the central square of the city on patrol, he met his daughter who was playing. Seeing that her father was working very hard, the daughter put a kettle on the table to let her father drink water, but Fang Yue said to her seriously: \” Go home and do your homework quickly! \”More and more parents have turned the originally warm parent-child communication into countless imperative sentences, giving orders to their children. Even if the children want to be grateful, they will be pushed further and further away by their parents. What to do? Method 3 , is a change from \”index finger education\” to \”thumb education.\” Scholar Zhang Wenzhi visited Australia, and a local friend said to him: \”You Chinese don\’t seem to like children very much. Zhang Wenzhi was very surprised and confused, \”What we are worried about now is that we have over-spoiled our children. Why do you think Chinese people don\’t like children?\” \”My friend explained that he observed that Chinese people often use their \”index finger\” to educate their children. For example, if a child makes a mistake, the parents will stand far away, stretch out a finger and reprimand loudly, which seems very rude. Look at it. There is no affection at all. If they want to change the way parents and children communicate, parents should extend their \”index fingers\” less and raise their \”thumbs\” more, accuse and order less, and appreciate and affirm more. Two mothers took their sons to play Basketball. During training, a child scored 9 out of 10 shots. His mother was furious: \”Why didn\’t that ball go in? Why can\’t you be perfect? Another child only made 1 shot in 10 consecutive shots, but his mother gave him a thumbs up: \”Baby, you are great. The ball you just scored was so beautiful. You will definitely be able to enter the NBA in the future.\” \”Later, the boy who only made one goal did make it to the NBA. His name was Michael Jordan. When the U.S. men\’s basketball team won the Olympic championship in 1984, Jordan rushed into the crowd, picked up his mother, and spun her around again. Yi Lai said excitedly that his mother\’s encouragement has always been his driving force. Every child seeks connection with his parents throughout his life. Successful connection depends on \”salt education\” and \”squatting education\”. It depends on \”thumb education\”. And \”honey education\”, \”standing education\” and \”index finger education\” are the enemies of family ties.