Why doesn\’t your child love you?

On weekends, our family took the subway to go out and play. A family of three came in the car. The little girl was younger than Zi Mi, only three years old at most. Someone gave up their seat, and the mother sat with her child in her arms, while the father stood in front of her. The little girl is very expressive. From the moment she got in the car, she kept talking noisily. Since sitting down, my mother has been busy, wiping sweat, wiping hands, feeding water, and feeding bread. She is very busy. Everything the little girl said was just a response. The father had been concentrating on helping the mother, getting tissues, opening the lid of the cup, turning a deaf ear to what the child said, and not reacting at all. After eating, the little girl became less active. Slowly, she stopped talking and fell asleep in her mother\’s arms. Her mother kept holding her, touching her head lovingly, her eyes and movements were full of tenderness. I think if we define Chinese parents from the perspective of sociology or psychology, they can probably be regarded as: \”full of emotions, but one-way driven parents with dominant thinking.\” Because all communication is one-way and there is no circularity. I have met a lot of parents. I found that they are basically divided into two categories: 1. Caregiving parents. When they are with their children, the role of these parents is just to \”watch\” their children. Chatting, looking at mobile phones, or being in a daze by yourself, you will only have nothing to do with your children, and respond absently. No interaction, no passion, no laughter. Most of them would simply say, \”Let\’s go play with the kids.\” The interaction between adults and children is that adults have requirements for children: drink water, eat snacks, wipe sweat, don\’t sit on the ground, don\’t take off your clothes, don\’t take off your shoes, go to English classes, go to play the piano… 2. Education Sexual parents. For this type of parents, every minute and every second they spend with their children, every word they speak, is based on the teaching methods and outlines of the Parenting Encyclopedia, with teaching purposes and intentions. While on vacation, a young father was swimming with his child in his arms. The little boy was only two years old. He went into the water for the first time and was curious and scared at the same time. Dad has been trying to teach him how to push his legs and how to paddle with his hands. Dad was very patient. He kept talking and demonstrating, and he also kept encouraging loudly and exaggeratedly, and applauded vigorously. After studying for half an hour, the child became cold and shivering a little, so I hugged the child and left. Does it matter if a two-year-old child can\’t learn to swim now? Instead of trying to teach children how to swim, there is a shallow pool for children to play next to, and there is sunshine there, why not go and play for a while? But I think that young boy who is very patient and has the courage to be a good father doesn\’t know how to play with his children? Because \”play\” itself is a kind of creativity, but unfortunately most parents are limited to education that is eager for utilitarianism. In China, parents who can play with their children and know how to play with their children are very rare and extremely rare. Our two children also don’t like to play with me because of my uncontrollable attitude of prioritizing education. No matter what I play, I can\’t help but find some educational value. For example, when we play cards together, I will ask them to count how many cards each person has been given; let them sort them according to color; read the words on the cards, and then sort them according to the size and different characters.attributes, and then separate them; when playing, in order to encourage them, I always let them win, so that they can be motivated and more confident. I think, how worthwhile is this game? A game allows children to learn about colors, numbers, letters, sizes, and find confidence. No wonder it is said that learning by \”playing\” is very effective in getting twice the result with half the effort. In fact, the first game may be played according to my educational method, and then there will be no more. Children are children, and sometimes they just need to play, have fun, be happy, laugh for some reason, and release excess energy. My two girls like to play with dad. Lu Zhonghan can not only play with them, but he can also cheat and be lazy. When he wins, he says proudly: \”Look how awesome your dad is\”; when he loses, he shouts angrily: \”I want to do it again.\” Moreover, he will also invent many new rules and turn the original game into new tricks, which is dazzling. For example, the two children now particularly like to take the subway, because if there are not many people on the subway, their father will instruct them to hold on to the steel pipe column in the middle and spin in circles. Turn forward, turn in the opposite direction, take two steps forward and take three steps back, or take one step and jump once, and kiss if they bump into each other. Of course, every time you play, the first thing to announce is the rules of the game: your hands must grasp the steel pipe and never let go. If you let go, you lose. If you lose, you will be punished for two stops and cannot play. The children kept laughing every time, making everyone in the car happy. When there are more people on the bus, Lu Zhonghan will say to the children: \”There are too many people. We can\’t affect others. Let\’s play again when the bus is empty next time.\” Although the children are still not satisfied, when they are in a happy mood, what It’s all easy to negotiate. In fact, from an educational point of view, children will still learn things, but Lu Zhonghan’s priority is fun. Learning something by the way is naturally good, but the purpose is not to learn, but to have fun. So in this game, the children are always very happy. Playing with children is a task that tests IQ, EQ, attention and physical strength; playing with children is the best way to gain their trust and make them fall in love with their parents. Parents and children, blood ties us together and cannot be separated. But if we don’t mention the kindness of nurturing, and just as human beings, will our children like us and get close to us? As adults, we can shape our children the way we want them to be, making them who we want them to be. But as children, in addition to passively welcoming, accepting and enduring their parents\’ love, will they feel from their hearts that their parents are interesting, valuable, prestigious, worthy of trust and respect, and people they love? This is a hidden question with no answer because there is no possibility. Always be serious and speak righteously, and children will be afraid of you. Always be thoughtful and thoughtful, and the kids will annoy you. Always a nice guy, kids don\’t listen. The degree of obedience of children is directly proportional to the prestige and trust of parents in the hearts of the children, and has little to do with love. I have been working hard to learn and play with the children. For example, my children cannot eat themselvesIt’s a favorite meal, which is really a problem. Instead of scolding or punishing me for not eating, now I will rub my face and say with a smile, \”Don\’t want to eat? Then mommy needs to feel it to see if there is still room in her belly.\” The children lift up their clothes to reveal their bellies. Then I touched it politely: \”Here is meat, here is rice, here is egg, here, why is it empty? Eat quickly to fill it up.\” Children\’s happiness is very easy , at this time, he was laughing so hard that he could eat it with big mouthfuls. After swallowing, I will say again: \”Mom, touch it again.\” Then touch one side, \”Here is the meat, here is the rice, here is the egg, here is the fish I just ate.\” I picked up the child and put it on the ground. Chopped Yiduo said: \”Now I have some free time, let\’s eat three more bites.\” This idea has been tried many times. Now Sidi is seven years old, and he still laughs and asks his mother to touch his belly. Children\’s lives are still very long, but the time they spend with their parents is very short. No matter how much trivial matters everyone has to deal with every day, no matter how hard every child has to move forward and work hard. But no matter what, we should leave a little time, just us, laughing together, full of joy. This is the so-called family relationship. There are always some meaningless things in life, but beautiful things are the most important things.