Why don\’t children like to study? The real reason is here

This is a \”secret\” I recently discovered. Some time ago, I was working on a project. I was a little hesitant to do it at the beginning, but later I took over it. Unexpectedly, in the process of doing it, the feeling of irritability became stronger and stronger. At first, I tried to adjust my mentality, but when I encountered trivial things that had to be dealt with, I became extremely irritable. There was a voice in my heart shouting: I\’m so annoyed! Doing this is a waste of life and has no meaning! Obviously I know that many things are just troublesome and trivial, but if I have the patience to do them, I can still finish them quickly. But I just don’t want to do it. I can put it off every day. I can clearly feel the resistance in my heart. At the end of the day, just the inner conflicts made me exhausted, depressed and irritable. From this, I thought of a question: Is it because I can\’t stand doing trivial things? In the triviality and repetition, I feel that my life force is being depleted little by little. But, what can be done to avoid triviality? Maybe not. If you look around you, whether you are starting your own business, a civil servant, or a corporate executive, are you not dealing with trivial and thorny problems every day? ——It should not have much to do with the industry or position. So why can\’t I stand it? If it\’s a little more complicated, if you encounter a little difficulty, you\’ll feel repulsed and extremely irritable. After thinking about it for several days, I finally figured it out. It\’s not that I can\’t stand triviality, it\’s not that I\’m afraid of difficulties, it\’s that I can\’t see the value of what I do – I can\’t identify with its significance. In other words, I can’t get a sense of value or accomplishment from doing this. Therefore, I can endure it when there is no wind and waves, but if I encounter a slight setback, it will arouse my rejection and I will naturally feel irritable. Thinking about the entrepreneurial friends around me, they are busy with affairs every day, and they are all very difficult. I wish I could transform into the Thousand-Armed Guanyin, there are 48 hours in a day. I asked one of them: Are you tired after working so hard? He answered without thinking: Tired, but very happy. Tired and happy. I am not unfamiliar with this state. This is what I do when I write articles for public accounts. After writing the entire article, I would read it several times, carefully polishing the words and sentences, as if I was carefully carving a piece of art. I enjoyed it and didn\’t feel bored at all. Typesetting is also a process that I enjoy very much. I select the pictures I like one by one and try out dozens of subtitle styles one by one to see which one works better. These are very trivial and monotonous things, but I enjoy them very much and enjoy myself. Why? Because I feel that writing public account articles is something that gives me a sense of accomplishment and enables me to realize my self-worth. I think this matter is very meaningful, so those trivial matters become fun. Encountering problems and solving them can also bring me a sense of accomplishment, and I feel like I have made another step forward. There is no good or bad thing, the key is whether you agree with its value. If you agree, you will do it with enthusiasm, opening roads when encountering mountains and building bridges when encountering waters. If you don’t agree, the process of doing it is a kind of suffering. The slightest disturbance will make you irritable and inexplicable. I have said so much because through this incident, I discovered the real reason why children don’t like to study. Why don\’t children like to study? Because learning, for him, has noMeaningful and unable to find a sense of value. Studying is so boring and I am nagging and scolded by my parents all day long. Why should I study? If my parents weren\’t watching, I wouldn\’t want to learn! How many children regard learning as something they do for their parents and do it reluctantly? Without inner motivation and recognition, how can we take the initiative to learn? Even if there are parents watching, they are still in the Cao camp but at heart, and they are passively resisting by dilly-dallying. If we think about it ourselves we will understand. Can we adults, relying solely on external pressure and control, be able to proactively do things we don’t want to do? ——I will always procrastinate intentionally or unintentionally. I will procrastinate as long as I can. I will complain endlessly when encountering any problems and want to give up. People have the same mind and the same principle. Whether you are an adult or a child, doing something that you are not interested in is a kind of suffering. It’s just that we subconsciously think that adults are adults and children are children, and they are people from two worlds. This is also the reason why many parents have problems educating their children. Therefore, help children find the motivation to learn, let them feel the joy of learning, let them gain a sense of accomplishment in learning, and make them feel a little proud and proud. This is the real sunflower treasure! To capture the thief, capture the king first. Everything is centered on improving children\’s interest in learning, regardless of minor issues such as dilly-dallying, carelessness, etc. Once the main problems are solved, small problems will naturally stop causing trouble. To improve your child\’s interest in learning, you can try the following three tips. Give your children timely and positive encouragement. A psychologist once conducted an experiment. They locked the dog in a cage and gave it an electric shock whenever the buzzer sounded. The dog was locked in the cage and had no way to escape. It could only endure the electric shock, which was very uncomfortable. After repeating it several times, the buzzer sounded, and the scientist opened the cage door before giving an electric shock. The result was unexpected. Instead of running away, the dog fell to the ground and began to moan and tremble before the electric shock started. After being hit too many times, the dog has given up its efforts to escape and can only wait desperately for the pain to come. This phenomenon is called learned helplessness. The same goes for people. If they are hit too hard, they will give up their efforts and break the pot – that\’s it for me, just do whatever you want. Parents play a huge role in causing this situation. Many parents mainly criticize and attack, and only see the various problems of their children: procrastination, dilly-dallying, carelessness… They are usually a loving mother and a filial son, but when it comes to learning, they immediately transform into a Hedong lion and roar: Why are you sloppy again? It’s just such a small amount of homework, and it’s so late to write it! You\’re so stupid, you can\’t even do this! Nagging, criticizing, yelling, and hitting, all escalate step by step. Think about it, a child would be in a good mood every time he was nagging, beaten and scolded every time he did his homework. Over time, he will associate learning with feelings of frustration and irritability. When I think about studying, I feel unhappy. Just like the dog in the experiment, when it hears the buzzer, the feeling of pain and despair overwhelms it, and it immediately gives up its efforts. Children are the same! If you want your child to be interested in learning, you must give him more positive encouragement and affirmation. Not to praise him for his intelligence, but to point out his hard work. Not to praise his talent, but to praise his behavior. haveParents said: I also want to praise him, but my child has nothing to praise at all, it is all problems. That\’s because your eyes only see problems. Be good at discovering your children\’s progress bit by bit, and don\’t begrudge your encouragement. I took a long time to finish my homework. It took me two hours to finish it yesterday. It took 1 hour and 50 minutes today. This is progress. I got 85 points last time and 90 points this time. This is progress. I wrote more than 200 words last time, and this time I wrote 300 words. This is progress. Point out his progress to your child and tell him: Mom is very happy to see your progress. Ask him: How did you do it? How do you feel when you do this? Even if it is just a little bit of progress, we should seize it in time and provide reinforcement and encouragement. Slowly, the child will receive more and more positive feedback in learning, and he will associate learning with a sense of achievement. When he thinks of learning, he will have a positive and positive feeling, and he will naturally become interested and motivated. So, when you feel the urge to spank or scold your child, think of that dog that was shocked. Put learning into play. It is the nature of children to love to play games and have fun in games. If learning can be made as fun as games, what child doesn\’t love to learn? Learning and fun are not opposites. Learning through play is not impossible, as long as parents guide them carefully. When Chengzi was in kindergarten, I taught him how to read, often on the street. As we walked, I pointed to the street signs and the words on the signs for him to recognize. Once he recognized it, he could swing my arm around. Sometimes I would take advantage of the opportunity to swim around for several times, or deliberately smash my arm on his body, making Chengzi laugh. Unrecognizable, my arms became stiff like a robot without electricity, and he couldn\’t push me no matter how hard he pushed. Chengzi never tired of playing this little game. He played it from kindergarten to elementary school. He would play it whenever he thought of it while walking on the road. Through this game, Chengzi learned a lot of words. In the third grade, Chengzi basically knew all the commonly used Chinese characters and there was no challenge anymore. Chengzi took the initiative and said: I no longer recognize Chinese characters and started to recognize English words on the street. Small games like this are simple and easy to play at any time. If you don’t like playing this game anymore, think of another one. As long as parents put more thought into it, they can invent countless tricks, which can not only enhance the parent-child relationship, but also allow the children to learn a lot of things unknowingly while playing. Create an environment for learning. People are animals of the environment, especially children. The influence of the environment is subtle and silent. My friend’s children are in third grade. The teacher pays great attention to creating a reading atmosphere and often discusses the contents of the book with the students. In such an environment, children often specify which book their mother should buy because their classmates are all reading it. The child said: \”If you don\’t study for a day, you will know it. If you don\’t study for a week, the teacher will know it. If you don\’t study for a semester, the whole class will know it.\” With motivation from peers, how can a child not want to read? If you want your child to fall in love with learning, you must create a learning environment for him. This kind of scene is all too familiar: at night, the child is doing homework, and the mother is reading with her, scrolling through her mobile phone, and pointing out what the child has done wrong from time to time. Excuse me, a family, the father is playing gamesWatching TV shows while mom is watching dramas and checking her mobile phone. In such an environment, it takes a child with such a strong heart to do his homework wholeheartedly! Children will naturally think: I am doing my homework, and my parents are playing, and I am also anxious to play. Try putting down your phone, picking up a book, and reading with your heart. Let your children see what concentration and investment are. Words must also be taught. Instead of urging your children to study every day, it is better to start studying yourself. This kind of companionship is better than nagging a thousand times a day. So, when you have to complain endlessly that your child doesn\’t like to study, is slow in doing homework, and is careless… you might as well stop and think about it, does your child have the interest and motivation to learn? Strictly guarding against stubbornness and urging to beat and scold can only be controlled for a while. It will be ineffective until the child graduates from elementary school. What should you do then? Fundamentally cultivating children\’s interest in learning, finding the real motivation for learning, and stimulating children\’s inner motivation are what we should focus on.