I am the mother of a 2-year-old boy and live with my husband in Guangzhou. When I was pregnant with the child, my parents-in-law hoped that I could leave the child in my hometown and let them take care of it. But this means being separated from the child, so I tend to take care of it myself. However, I still feel a little guilty because my mother-in-law thinks so highly of my grandson. After giving birth to the child, I stayed at my husband\’s house for two months and then returned to Guangzhou with the child and my husband. Although my mother-in-law asked me to keep the child, I still refused. All I can say is that in the past two months, I have seen a lot of things clearly. Except for the first few days of confinement, I take care of the child on other days. My mother-in-law has very little time to take care of the baby, and the baby is quite active. Usually my mother-in-law will complain that her hands are sore after holding her for a while. I can only put down what I am doing, quickly take over the baby and continue to coax him. Their love and care for their grandson is only to the extent that \”the baby is so cute and I want to hug him.\” During my confinement period, there were two things that I have never been able to forget. First, when my sister-in-law came to visit, my father-in-law kept emphasizing to her that my family always urged me to eat more and pay attention to nutritional supplements. After all, I have to breastfeed the baby. But after my sister-in-law left, my father-in-law coldly mocked me as \”an idler eating an idle meal.\” That look of disgust, as if he was looking at a parasite. In their eyes, I am incompatible with this family, an eyesore, and superfluous. Thinking about it now, I quite admire myself for not falling out on the spot. Well, I quit my job a year ago because of pregnancy and childcare. Therefore, the financial expenses can only be borne by the husband for the time being. My husband understands my difficulties, but he is more submissive to his parents and chooses to remain silent in front of his parents-in-law. I believe many women have their own experience of this feeling of isolation and helplessness. Another thing is that my fellow countryman came to our house as a guest, and she accompanied me to the supermarket to buy some daily necessities. I left the baby to my mother-in-law for the time being. As soon as I entered the house, I saw my mother-in-law\’s cold face. I put the things down casually and asked: Mom, what\’s wrong? My mother-in-law put the child directly into my hands and said: We have a grandson, and I haven’t given any gifts from relatives yet. Why did you go so long? That supermarket is not far from my home, and it takes less than an hour for me to go back and forth. But my mother-in-law was very dissatisfied with my \”long trip\”. Could it be that in her eyes, her grandson is not as good as those who are humane and sophisticated? Maybe I\’m biased, but I really feel that my mother-in-law\’s love for her grandson is too much. Every move of my father-in-law and mother-in-law made me despair. I can\’t stay in a family that treats me like a stranger, let alone keep my children. Living in Guangzhou with my husband, even though I am the only one taking care of the children during the day, it is at least more comfortable. Once, my sister brought her children to my place to celebrate the Dragon Boat Festival. After staying for less than half a day, her mother-in-law had already made several video calls, saying she wanted to see her precious grandson. My husband felt a little embarrassed, so he called my mother-in-law and asked her to call her and ask about her grandson. When I received a call from my mother-in-law to greet my grandson, I felt a bit dumbfounded. I can only cooperate with my mother-in-law to complete the superficial etiquette. They don\’t even care about their most precious grandson, how can I ask for more?Do they care about my feelings? Since my husband and I live in Guangzhou all year round, my time with my parents-in-law and I is very short, and we can only be regarded as familiar strangers. But as family members, they are the ones we have to face. After I gave birth to my child, they despised me for not having a job, and I despised them for not being considerate enough of me. At times like this, I\’m glad I don\’t have to live under the same roof as them. As for my relationship with my husband, as long as I don’t speak ill of my parents-in-law in front of my husband, we get along very happily most of the time. If your man can understand you to a certain extent, there is always hope in life. This is my request which is not a request at all. After all, in a marriage, women are always the ones who give in the most. Therefore, every woman must love herself well. The loved ones around us may not be able to love us as lovingly as we wish. Many times, like many mothers, when I am too tired, I wonder whether the effort is worth it. Even so, every mother always experiences sadness again and again, but when looking at her children, she forces herself to be strong.
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- Why don\’t you let your mother-in-law take care of the children? What this mother said is true.