Why is it said that the mother\’s character determines the fate of her son, and her husband\’s love determines the mother\’s character?

I wonder if you have noticed how mothers are described in many celebrity biographies: Mother is gentle, virtuous, and considerate. She always devotes herself to her children silently without any complaints. Mother is strong, kind, and independent, as if nothing is difficult. Mother…are these words familiar? It is possible for such a mother to raise such outstanding children. For example, the writer Mo Yan, on the podium of the Swedish Academy\’s Nobel Prize for Literature, spent a quarter of the page deeply remembering his mother and recalling every detail of his childhood life with her. . Mo Yan confessed: My mother is the person I miss the most at this moment. It can be seen how tall his mother\’s image is in his heart and how huge his mother\’s influence is on him! He once used three words to describe his mother: kindness, strength and tolerance. Because in a family, the mother\’s role and function are irreplaceable. Mo Yan\’s mother not only made Mo Yan a literary superstar, but Mo Yan\’s eldest and second brothers also made great achievements and made great achievements. We know that children are instinctively dependent on their mothers when they are young. Therefore, the mother\’s personality, language and behavior will affect the child\’s life. So how can we prevent the child\’s character habits from developing in the opposite direction of the mother\’s character and inherit the mother\’s advantages? The best way is for mothers to curb their sharpness in front of their children and become a mother in the true sense. When a mother is in front of her children, not at the negotiating table, she does not need to look at her children with a critical, picky, and demanding eye. The mother\’s aggressive attitude, harsh language, controlling behavior, and self-righteous judgments have a negative impact on the child\’s self-esteem and self-righteousness. The damage to self-confidence is far greater than exam-oriented education. For a child, from the moment he is born, the child\’s requirements for the role of the mother are almost eternal. How to be a good and qualified mother. Before entering the house, mother must remind herself: forget all the unpleasant things in the workplace. Now she begins to assume the role of mother. Children need their mothers to be happy. Never transfer bad emotions that have nothing to do with the children to the children, because the children are innocent. Children\’s little honors are very important. When a child happily tells his mother that he got a five-pointed star or a small red flower at school today, do not show boredom or disdain. Be sure to praise him as happily as the child. he. The most appropriate way is to ask mom to see it and share this happiness with her, because this honor is very important to the child. \”Ignorant\” Mother When a child comes to ask his mother, \”How do you pronounce this word?\” and other such questions, it is best not to answer him immediately. The worst answer is \”Why don\’t you even know this word?\” It\’s best for the mother to take one look and say, \”Oh, I don\’t know him either. Let\’s look it up in the dictionary together, okay?\” After a few times, the mother teaches the child how to use the dictionary. At the same time, the child will feel a sense of accomplishment after looking up the word in the dictionary. After a few times, the child will develop the habit of looking up information without relying on the mother. Calm, calm, you must be calm. When the child tells her mother that she did not do well in the exam today, the mother must restrain herself.Emotions must not be angry or gloomy. The child is nervously observing the mother\’s face at this time. Therefore, it is best for the mother to show no emotional changes, let the child take out the paper, and analyze the mistakes with the child. If the child already understands what is wrong, the mother does not need to bother anymore. But in the end, encourage him: Look, if you figure it out, you won\’t make mistakes in the next exam. If mom feels she can\’t control her emotions, go to the bathroom, wash her face, look in the mirror, and take a few deep breaths. I also used to be a coward. When a child shows timidity before a test or before doing something more important, the mother must not disapprove or scold him for being timid or acting more nervous than he is. This will increase the child\’s psychological pressure and lead to The child cannot function normally. At this time, it is best for the mother to easily tell her child that no matter how well you do, your parents were not as good as you when they were your age, so don’t worry. At this time, the child will feel confident and confident, and he will perform better than usual. In the face of failure, we need to be stronger. When a child suffers a failure or setback, a mother should be strong and never give up. She should calmly tell the child that failure only represents a moment and does not mean that the child will fail for life. Before the child even thinks about giving up, the mother first acts hopeless. The worst thing is to use harsh words to ridicule him, make the child useless, and even settle old and new accounts together. Children educated by such mothers will have extremely low self-esteem and even give up on their supposedly bright future. \”You must…\”, \”You should…\” Mothers should not self-righteously express their opinions before the child has clearly expressed what he wants to say. Regardless of whether the child is willing, just use \”You must…\”, The tone of \”You should…\” commands the child to represent the child\’s point of view with his own point of view, and requires the child to implement it. Mother must not become synonymous with \”authoritarian\”. Children who grow up in this situation lack independent opinions and the ability to judge right from wrong. Mothers and children should establish an equal relationship (equality is not unprincipled) and know how to respect each other. The hurt comes from the mother, the person closest to her, having to control the way she speaks in front of her children. The person who knows the child best in the world is the mother, so the mother knows best where the child\’s weaknesses are. If the mother often points to the child\’s weaknesses when speaking, sarcastically, criticizes or threatens, or knowingly knows that the child cannot do it and deliberately Asking the child to do it is undoubtedly using the sharpest weapon to stab the child in the painful area. The child will be very hurt because the hurt comes from the person closest to him. \”Short language + silence\”>Nagging mothers should control the amount of language in front of their children. Don\’t nag. In fact, what scares children most is the mother\’s silence. Therefore, instead of nagging the child endlessly, it is better to use short language to tell the child the mistakes he has made or what he should pay attention to. . Next, mother\’s silence will definitely be more useful than continuing to talk, noIf you think the child doesn\’t understand, although he pretends to be indifferent, he is actually observing whether the mother takes what he says seriously. Therefore, the mother\’s personality, language and behavior will affect the child\’s life. And behind a virtuous mother, there is often a husband who loves her deeply. The firmer the husband\’s love, the more stable his wife\’s heart will be, and the gentler her character will be. The husband\’s love determines the mother\’s character. Phoenix TV host Wu Xiaoli said that the reason why she married her husband was that \”she will always be a happy bird by his side, free and easy. To her friends, he will always be polite; to her family, he will give He has a father-like feeling and always wants to protect everyone; for me, three words, he loves me. After marriage, Wu Xiaoli’s career, marriage, and family are full of glory, and she is a happy woman who fell into a honeypot. The beauty of a woman, It’s all “praise” by men. Women’s gentleness and self-confidence need to be “praise” by men. When a woman has sweet love, she will work harder to pursue career success and work harder for her family. Because life A woman who is in the love of her husband has a soft, gentle and stable heart. She will treat everyone around her with tolerance and create a pleasant and warm family atmosphere. The most direct influence of a family having such a woman is The beneficiary is the child. On the contrary, a mother who has endured her husband\’s indifference, complaints, and irritability for a long time will pass on these negative emotions to her children, and family life will be a burden to her. A family full of resentments , the biggest victim is also the child. Why does the \”Three Character Classic\” say \”it is the father\’s fault if he raises him or not\” instead of \”it is the mother\’s fault if he raises him or not\”? If a father puts all his efforts into disciplining his child, the child still remains If everything is unsatisfactory, then the father is still at fault, because he probably did not love his wife well. Austrian psychologists once investigated the fathers of 398 criminals, of which 183 fathers were alcoholics and 120 criminals. The fathers of gambling, sexual indulgence, and dishonesty, and most families have one thing in common: family relationships are not harmonious. Researchers have found that criminals from these families are impulsive in their adolescence, and have more delinquent behaviors and Antisocial behavior and lack of self-control. On Zhihu, many people use their personal experience to answer the impact of \”father\’s temper\” and \”father\’s domestic violence against mother\”: \”I have not felt safe since I was a child, and I need more security than others. Living with unsettled anxiety all the time. With such a character, life is very hard for oneself and also makes the lives of those around him very hard. \”I have no desire for love, and I am extremely sensitive even when making friends.\” I don\’t want to believe in love, and I resist marriage because my memories from childhood are not good ones. \”There is a kind of father that is more terrifying than the \”absent father\”, and that is the father who does not love his mother. Generally, from a woman\’s body, you can roughly see what the man behind her looks like: 1. A well-dressed woman with a melancholy expression , her man is usually successful in career and keeps secrets. 2. For a shrew-type woman, the man behind her may be the kind of honest person who is not good at words. 3. The husband of a strong woman must be an ordinary person. 4. oneA woman who lives for money may have an incompetent husband. 5. A mentally cheating woman, her husband is not at the same ideological level as her. 6. And for a gentle, dignified and radiant woman, her husband must be a man who loves his wife and children. If a man wants to complain that his wife cannot raise children or take care of the family well, he must first ask himself: Do I truly love my wife? A man\’s love for his wife should start with smiles and compliments, and smiles and compliments are related to his mentality. Confident men like to treat their wives with smiles and compliments. He believes in his position in his wife\’s heart and his personality charm. He feels that praising his wife shows that he is more powerful. Men with low self-esteem like to treat their wives with rude scolding. Such people often get angry outside and come home to vent their anger on their wives. They pretend to tell the truth in front of their wives, or belittle their wives at will to show their \”status.\” In fact, women look down upon such a husband the most, and a well-educated woman will stay away from him. Some wives love to buy clothes for their husbands, but the husband always says this is not good or that is not good, so the wife no longer has the desire to buy clothes for her husband. The wife loves to go shopping, but the husband will say from time to time: \”Are you going to buy it or not? If not, I\’m leaving.\” Then the wife is greatly disappointed and has no interest in going out with her husband anymore. The wife loves to talk to her husband, but the husband is always impatient and either interrupts or makes unreasonable comments. Slowly, the wife closes the door to her heart. Suhomlinsky once said to fathers: \”If you want to educate your children well, you must first truly love your wife.\” Therefore, if there is anything that can benefit a child the most throughout his life, then it must be that a father loves his mother. , Mom loves the whole family. Obviously, parents are their children\’s first teachers. The child\’s character depends on your usual attitude towards him and her. The mother\’s character determines the child\’s fate, and the husband\’s love determines the mother\’s character! For the sake of your children, please be more careful!