Why is my mother always unhappy?

That day, I saw an article in People magazine, \”Why are mothers always unhappy?\” The author said that she saw a post from a girl on Douban – a few years after this girl married in Japan, she compared My own Japanese mother-in-law and Chinese mother. He said that his Chinese mother was just short-sighted, while her Japanese mother-in-law loved art and was more open-minded. In comparison, she thought her mother was undignified. The author also witnessed such a scene in Japan. A Chinese mother visiting Tokyo tried to grab a seat for her daughter on the subway, but her daughter said with disgust, \”I won\’t sit.\” All the Japanese in the carriage were looking at them. After being scolded by her daughter, the mother didn\’t say a word. She was too embarrassed to sit down and gave her seat to someone else with a downcast look on her face. Such a real scene made me feel a little sad for that mother. Of course my daughter may think this way, why are you trying to grab a seat for me? Don’t you know this is embarrassing to the Chinese people? She must have felt that her mother\’s behavior was inappropriate for this occasion and lacked common sense. Her mother may have simply thought that her daughter would be more comfortable sitting down. The daughter may be right. The mother does have her own limitations, but should the mother\’s kindness be respected? The latest and most complete 2023 [Kindergarten, Junior High and High School] premium VIP course catalogs from famous teachers in various disciplines on the entire network, click to view now! I couldn\’t help but think a lot… I remembered an aunt who lived in the same building as us when we lived in the original community. She came to Beijing from Cangzhou, Hebei, and helped her daughter take care of the children with her wife. Once, I was taking my child to play downstairs and heard her chatting to another aunt: Alas! Helping my daughter take care of the children here is not enough to make her dislike me. Even the curtains are not clean, and I don’t say it is not clean. I just keep a cold face… Anyway, I think everything is not done well, dirt, rough, and not good. grade. Go back to your hometown out of anger, but it\’s a pity that no one can help your daughter with work. The aunt looked fat and carefree, but there was a lot of helplessness and grievance in her eyes. I have also seen many posts on Douban where children accuse their parents, especially their mothers, saying that both parents are a disaster. Yes, they are all accusations against parents. I have rarely seen parents, especially mothers, openly dissatisfied and criticized towards their children. what reason? On the one hand, this is because the previous generation has no place on the Internet and does not have the right to speak. On the other hand, even if they have the right to speak, I believe they will choose to digest their dissatisfaction with their children and are not used to venting and attacking in this way. The author of that article believes: “Because of the unequal status of mother and daughter, the two generations cannot communicate or communicate. This contrast in cognition and experience is a deadlock in the relationship between mother and daughter, and it is also a very cruel reality. .\” Are the two generations really unable to communicate and communicate because of the contrast in cognition and identity? I don\’t think so! If our parents become our leaders and decide our promotion and salary, do you think there is a way to communicate? There is no way to communicate because you condescendingly think that communication is not necessary. I went from a remote place to Beijing to go to university. I took trains, buses, subways, and planes all the way. I read many, many books, experienced many, many things, and accepted many famous lectures.Through the professor’s teachings and doubts, I got to know many smart classmates, and I continued to receive various edifications and baptisms. I built a very broad world both internally and externally. But my mother, both her body and her spirit, remained where she was. The people around her have not changed much. Apart from watching TV, she has no way to understand the outside world. She cannot truly connect with my spirit. When I got married at the age of 24, my parents came to Beijing to visit the big city. Brother Qian and I took the bus to the train station to pick them up. When we left the station and walked to the bus stop, I found that I had seen a few market parents in the countryside. They were nervous and uneasy as they walked. They didn\’t know what to look at. It seemed that they felt they didn\’t deserve a place like this. I handed everything in my hand to Brother Qian, one on each side, and took their arms affectionately. I immediately felt that my parents\’ waists were straightening up a bit and their embarrassment was much better. I told them in the same authentic hometown dialect as when I was a child, your daughter is no worse than most people walking on the street, and this avenue also belongs to you. My mother-in-law, Brother Qian’s mother, is also like this. Throughout her life, she has given priority to others, prioritizing her own children, her own husband, her own parents, and even her own grandchildren. People of this generation often feel aggrieved because they consider others. own requirements. The year I gave birth to my second child, Qian Xiaoneng, I asked my mother-in-law to come to Beijing to help me. Qian Xiaoya was in first grade at that time. Brother Qian doesn\’t want grandma to watch TV in the living room after dinner, for fear of affecting the children\’s study habits. When I heard this, I said, no, absolutely not! She only has a little hobby and a little spiritual enjoyment. She must have the right to watch TV. If she didn\’t come to Beijing to help us take care of our children, she could sit in front of the big TV at home every day and watch TV dramas to her heart\’s content. Later we discussed buying her a TV in her room. We went to the mall to choose a TV. Brother Qian wanted to buy a small TV, but I said no! You must buy a suitable and big one so that mom can see clearly and feel comfortable. You said that there is a huge cognitive gap between the two generations, mothers and daughters, and this does exist. Of course it is difficult to communicate on the same level as a close friend. However, there is a very critical question here: when cognition and spirit are in different dimensions, who should understand whom first? Is it realistic for you to ask your mother to learn quickly and improve her cognitive and realm dimensions? As a generation of children, we can lower the weft and it is very convenient anytime and anywhere. I have tried it many times. For example, neither my mother nor my mother-in-law can read and understand this era like I do, nor can they keep up with this era. You must think that I can\’t talk to them, but let me tell you, no matter who I chat with, I can chat all afternoon at any time. You ask me how you can chat with such an old man. Let me tell you, I only talk about what they know, are familiar with, have experienced, and understand. We can’t finish talking about such things alone. Talk about the three aunts and the six wives, how they pulled the children when we were young, and the shortcomings of the parents. For example, I asked how a dish is made, and why it doesn’t taste good no matter how I cook it (in fact, we may be better at cooking it)? Why am I so stupid? Let them teach me. Whenever they talk about past events with gusto and great pride, talk about things that I can\’t handle but they can handle, and listen to them talk about their health and how to keep healthy, whether in person or through the phone, I seem to see them. A face stretched with pride and joy. You said, if I talk to them about world famous books, the Internet, and AI, do they understand? I don’t talk about these, I just talk about what they are good at and what they like to talk about, because my mother’s happiness is my happiness. However, some people say, Teacher Mei, I have never felt maternal love since I was a child; some people say, my mother-in-law is an evil mother-in-law, do I have to make them happy? I want to say that if you really meet such a person, let them bring it upon themselves. A student asked Confucius: How about repaying evil with kindness? Confucius said: How can we repay kindness with kindness? Repay grievances directly. \”Straight\” means inner sincerity.