Will a boy become a \”mama\’s boy\” if he gets too close to his mother?

I have been criticized a lot by Baoduo\’s father recently. He always says that I dote on my children. Like most couples, we also have many differences on the education of our children. Normally, we are fine. But once we don\’t like each other, our parenting concepts become the main target of each other\’s attacks. For example, during hugs and kisses, Baoduo’s father looked at our mother and daughter and frowned. He just felt that Bao Duo was a boy and it was a bit bad to have such close contact with his mother. What\’s bad about it, he actually can\’t tell. I guess his little thoughts are based on the usual suppression of expressions of family affection in Chinese society – didn\’t our parents do the same to us when we were children – I obviously love you very much in my heart, but I never say it, and I don\’t Hugs and caresses for you. I rolled my eyes inwardly and asked him why he thought so, but he couldn\’t explain clearly and threw out the words \”Oedipus complex\” and \”doting\”. What a big hat! This hat is too big for me to wear. It is normal for children with big farts to have Oedipus. The child will be full of love for his mother as soon as he is born! If my child doesn’t love me, how many things have I done to disappoint and sadden my child, and how much have I failed? The word Oedipus complex has multiple meanings, and it\’s too technical. I can\’t say clearly. What we usually mean by \”Oedipus complex\” is that even when a person grows up, he still relies on his mother for everything and gets it from his mother. Help and psychological comfort. This probably means \”Mama\’s boy\”, and this is probably what Baoduo\’s father refers to as the \”Oedipus complex\”. I am confident that my child will not become a \”mama\’s boy.\” \”Mama\’s boys\” are often formed because mothers take care of too much in life and have a strong desire to control. My general direction in raising my children is on the right track – respect them, teach them to make their own decisions, and sometimes I ask them to take care of me. Without control and arrangements, it is unlikely that my children will still be dependent on me when they grow up. As for psychological dependence, most children have it. As long as the father is not seriously absent for a long time and the family relationship is abnormal, it is unlikely to develop into a pathological aspect. Now coming back to close contact, I think that for a four-year-old child, close contact is not an excessive act. Children need to know their gender, but I find it a bit ridiculous to deliberately reduce close contact with their mother because of their gender. Do you have to tell a four-year-old child that because you are a boy, it is better for your mother to hug you less, because if I hug you, I am doting on you? If so, will the child hate his own gender? When he starts acting up and rolling around, I rush to meet his demands, which is doting; when he insists on taking away other people’s things, I acquiesce, which is doting; when he doesn’t want to eat and insists on eating snacks, I quickly offer him snacks, which is also doting. . When he saw me, he happily got into my arms and buried his little head in the crook of my neck. I lowered my head and kissed his forehead. This was love. I insist that I should give my children physical expressions of love in a timely manner. This determination comes from a story I saw a long time ago: a teacher said that he had a student, a black girl, who looked optimistic and cheerful. , was diligent and studious, and was deeply loved by her teachers. But one day she suddenly committed suicide.He left a suicide note to the effect that he had never been hugged by his family, felt that no one loved him, and was in despair. I was very shocked when I saw this story. It was at this time that I came across the term “skin hunger syndrome”. Modern scientific research believes that human beings need daily skin-to-skin contact to develop better. If our skin is in a state of hunger and thirst, our minds will easily fall into loneliness. It is probably for this reason that children who do not enjoy caressing are more rebellious in adolescence. Because I have conflicts with my parents, I always get confused immediately. Are they doing this because they love me, or is it more convenient for them? There are very few parents who don\’t love their children, but some children spend too much time, waste too much thought, hesitate for too long, and test too much when determining this matter, and there is no mutual trust between them and their parents. Hurts more. If you hug and caress more, you can be sure that you are loved and valued. Even if there is a conflict, your first reaction will definitely be to find a way to resolve the conflict, instead of using all kinds of \”fancy tricks\” to confirm whether you are. Be loved, thus triggering a new round of conflict again. My Baoduo, he told me more than once, \”Mom, when you hold me, I feel very warm in my heart.\” I think, even if someone maliciously teases him and tells him, \”Your mother doesn\’t love you,\” he will He will not cry. He will tell the other party seriously and firmly: \”My mother said that I am her favorite baby. She always smiles at me. She will hold me in her arms and touch my head. She will also kiss my face, she loves me, you are lying.\” My confidence in Baoduo\’s solid response also stems from the mutual love and tacit understanding established by our mother and son in the long-term trust. Of course, I want to make a special statement here. Everything has its own limits. I don’t plan to hug him like a little baby for the rest of my life, and he himself won’t get tired of being in my arms all the time. In addition, the maintenance of a normal and harmonious relationship in a family and the healthy psychological growth of a child require the participation of a qualified father. A father who has a sense of family responsibility, has a harmonious relationship with his spouse, and stays closely with his children cannot raise a \”mom\’s baby.\”