Will a child like mine be easily bullied in the future?

|Your worries are probably unnecessary | OK has been a child in the traditional concept of \”timid and introverted\” since he was a child. The most superficial manifestation is that he is not good at fighting and always gives in. When children of the same age play together, some children will take the initiative to \”hook up\” other children and take other people\’s toys to play with. OK is always the one being \”hooked up\” and takes two steps back as soon as others come. When someone reaches out to grab the toy, he immediately gives it up without even a tug-of-war. Even if the toy is taken away, he will retreat to a place where no one is around, as if he has done something wrong. It seems like things are going to be hidden. Even now that he is over three years old, his non-competitive nature has never changed. Whenever there is a conflict with a child, he will always give in. I was talking about this topic with two friends a while ago and found that the children in three families were like this. So everyone was talking – will timid, introverted children suffer when they go out to socialize independently? What do parents need to do to make them bolder and more outgoing? Before figuring out whether children\’s timidity and introversion will cause them to suffer, we may need to be more clear about whether \”timidity and introversion\” and \”weak character will suffer\” are really the same thing? If your baby is under three years old, the timidity and introversion of your baby in your eyes may be just an illusion. First of all, babies before the age of three have not yet fully developed social awareness and mastered communicative language. Their performance in group activities is more a reflection of experience. You can find that those bold and outgoing children are basically children who go out to play a lot. It is very likely that the elderly at home have been carrying them around every day since a few months. They can also talk to strangers anytime and anywhere when they meet them. After long-term observation of adults\’ communication styles, the \”self-acquaintance\” mode is a normal way of communication for little children. As for \”timid and small-minded\” children, usually in their observation, they may have more of a \”sense of boundaries\” and do not take the initiative to contact people they don\’t know. Secondly, a child\’s understanding of the surroundings and social interactions before the age of three depends more on his or her own sense of security. If the baby himself cannot understand what is safe and what is unsafe from the parent-child relationship (for example, if he knocks over a water glass at home, he will be frightened and torn by the old man\’s surprise). They will be sternly stopped by their mother in this picture book), and gradually they will build up a sense of self-protection and believe that they can get a safer environment by causing less trouble. Therefore, it is not appropriate to make character judgments about some of the baby\’s early behaviors, which is what we often call \”labeling\”. This approach will instead guide the baby to develop in the direction of the label. However, the saying \”you see old age at the age of three\” is not completely unreasonable. There is no doubt that every baby has his own personality traits. This comes from the family environment, the way parents get along and communicate with each other, and part of their innate characteristics. genetics. If parents don’t want to see their baby’s behavior show timid and introverted characteristics, even if they want to change, they have to follow the baby’s nature. After understanding the reasons for their characteristics, they can then consider how to guide the baby to become more open-minded. ,enthusiasm. Children are born with their own constitution. Parents can only do this if they give their children time and space.As an adult, your personality has been finalized and you will have a clearer understanding of yourself. If parents think that they are introverts and not good at dealing with people, then it is very likely that the child has partially inherited their parents\’ personality traits. For children who are born with an introverted, timid and tolerant personality, more of us still have to accept the child\’s personality as we accept ourselves, otherwise what? ! Some parents themselves are not that good at \”breaking the ice\” with strangers, but they hope that their children can speak well in social relationships. Once, I took OK to play in the sand digging pool in the playground. A mother came next to her and brought her children to play. Because the sand digging tools and molds were already in the hands of other children or right next to them, the little boy I just stood by the sand pool watching other children playing and not knowing how to get the sand digging tools. His mother kept saying, \”Go, go, tell them and they will let you play.\” However, this mother never guided the little boy to communicate with the children, and there was a little annoyance on her expression that she was \”angry and unwilling to argue\”. But in fact, when a child dares not take the initiative to ask or participate, and parents cannot lead or demonstrate well, then the only thing to do is to give the child enough space to try, and must not He comforted her with purpose and a sense of oppression, but before she did anything, she began to threaten and forcefully push her. If the child has little contact with the outside world, he will naturally have less experience, so provide more opportunities. If the child grows up in a relatively closed environment and lacks the living space to interact with the people around him, he will naturally lack the experience and experience of interacting with others, and slowly become more mature. They seem withdrawn, and being withdrawn will also be associated with timid behavior and not daring to try. The child’s family environment is determined by the parents, including how much time to spend with them, whether there is fixed parent-child time at home every day, whether the parents take the child to different occasions naturally, and teach them how to greet others. Tell them how to interact with people of different ages, and these will slowly accumulate and become their social experience capital. The more children are exposed to real social activities, the more children will experience their interactions with others in social interactions, and they will have more opportunities to try how to speak and how to \”fight\” for something. Toy. You can try to make friends with babies of the same age and go out to play together (the time to play together should be at least more than three hours, and provide special time for the children to share food and toys with each other), and casually burst out some simple things. Social language, these will gradually be implanted in the child\’s mind, and he may think of how to express it the next time he plays with children. If you want your baby to be bold, you must clearly let him know \”I will always protect you.\” The impact of bad experiences on your baby may last for a long time. For example, when being bullied by powerful children, we did not take appropriate measures to protect them, and even reprimanded the children in public as \”useless, worthless…\”. This kind of bad experience and lack of protection will directly lead to the children being in the group. Feeling of low self-confidence and loss, unwilling to express and express themselves, and deeply afraid of being hurt again. Children who have had bad experiences need a sense of security most. they needTo be comforted when they are emotional, parents need to help them find a point of confidence. After solving these problems, they need to learn some tips, how to protect themselves when others bully them, how to independently resolve disputes with others, and learn to abide by rules when playing with children older than themselves. Rules, when playing with children younger than yourself, you need to know how to take care of others. To try all of these, he needs to make sure that it is safe and that his parents will stand behind him to protect him. Every time a child is guided to communicate with strangers, his sense of strength will double. When walking around the community, I often hear some adults with children. If the child wants to touch another child\’s stroller, the adult will immediately say: \” \”No, no, no, that aunt is going to come and scold you.\” The child went to climb a railing or something, and the adult immediately began to threaten: \”No, no, if you climb again, the police will come.\”… Maybe the adult\’s purpose is to remain polite, or Not willing to intercede with others and not allowing the child to touch other people\’s things, or perhaps not allowing the child to climb around for safety education, but always using threatening words to stop it will only make the child out of fear And retreating will leave a psychological shadow, and it will take a lot of effort to change your mind later. It is of course important for parents to keep their children safe, but it is a virtuous circle to let them learn to actively integrate into the group and learn to judge safety and danger by themselves early on. Later, I consciously created some opportunities for OK to talk to strangers. For example, when checking out in the supermarket, I would give OK my card and ask him to communicate with the salesperson; if I wanted to borrow something from a neighbor\’s house or knock on the door, I would OK will also be arranged to complete it. Every time after successfully communicating with a stranger, I would see a sense of pride and strength on his face.