Will raising a baby for the elderly really ruin the child? !

\”My daughter is spoiled by her grandparents!\” One of my sisters complained at a party. \”People on the Internet say that being close to grandparents since childhood will have an impact on a child\’s personality. I still don\’t believe it. Now I really regret it!\” My daughter is 5 years old. She is usually taken care of by her grandparents. Now her temper is very bad. She rolls on the ground without buying toys. Without snacks, she cries and makes a fuss. \”She is not obedient at all. It is really annoying.\” Half dead, I was doing the old man\’s ideological work, but the old man was stubborn and wouldn\’t listen at all!\” \”Then why don\’t you take care of the children by yourself?\” I asked her. \”I\’m too busy at work and have to work overtime every week. I don\’t have time!\” This sister was extremely entangled when talking about her children. \”I\’m still considering whether to quit my job and take care of the children. Anyway, I won\’t let my children see her again in the future. Grandparents, otherwise she will definitely become lawless!\” It seems to have become the consensus now that \”old people dote on children and do not understand education, so they can only teach naughty children.\” However, dual-income families do not have time to take care of their children. This contradiction makes parents extremely anxious. However, are there really only disadvantages to intergenerational marriage and no advantages? In fact, this is not the case. Psychologist Perveen Akhtar and others published their research results last month: the better the relationship between children and grandparents (grandparents), the stronger their social communication skills will be. There is no need for grandparents to use any special education methods, as long as the relationship is good. But some mothers will think: \”Isn\’t it necessary to leave the child to the grandparents? I can teach the child well myself! I have read parenting books and know that I need to communicate with my children, respect their opinions, and use… Guide children in a democratic way. It is enough for the children to have us as their parents!\” However, it is not enough for parents to be perfect themselves. Further research shows that even if the parents are already very good, if the most appropriate parenting methods are used, if the relationship between the child and the grandparents is not good, these scientific methods will not only fail to teach children with strong social skills, but will also have a negative impact On the contrary, children will become more conceited, arbitrary, and avoid communication with the outside world. Only when children have a close relationship with their grandparents, parents’ excellent parenting can help children enhance their social communication skills (Akhtar et. Al., 2017). In other words, it is not possible to educate children well by separating them from their grandparents. Without the affection between grandparents and grandchildren, the parenting experience of parents will be of no use. Obviously, if you want to cultivate children\’s social abilities, you cannot ignore the relationship between children and grandparents. “The love of grandparents is different from the love of parents,” said my college roommate who stayed at my grandma’s house during holidays. “My mother wakes me up at seven o’clock every day and makes me eat eggs and drink. Milk is said to be for health. But grandma never cares about me staying in bed, and allows me to lie in bed and eat ice cream for breakfast.\” This is not a spoiled girl, but a top student who has well-organized study and internship arrangements. Said: \”My mother is too nervous. She just relaxes a little during the holidays, but she is worried, saying that I am so lazy, what will I do if I can\’t find a good job in the future?\” Parents will look forward to their children\’s future., has many demands on children; but grandparents can always kindly appreciate the child\’s current state. This unconditional love makes the child feel free. Moreover, children will talk to their grandparents about some troubles that they cannot talk to their parents, and get support and comfort from them. Research shows that such support can help children relieve psychological stress and enhance their social adaptability (Ruiz & Silverstein, 2007). So, don’t always worry that your children will turn into naughty children if they stay with their grandparents for too long. Their close relationship has many benefits. However, what should you do if your child is far away from their grandparents and doesn’t communicate well? 1. Communication methods: With the development of science and technology, the phone is no longer the only way to communicate. It would be better to communicate with grandparents through WeChat video, Facetime, etc., because this can keep children\’s attention longer and can also Sharing their respective environments also allows grandparents to see the growth and changes of their children. I couldn\’t go home during the Spring Festival the year before last, so my mother made a video call on WeChat and asked me to greet my grandma. At that time, my grandma was very happy and felt very fresh. She kept asking my mother: \”Is this really my daughter? She can see people, it seems. It’s the same as the list of gods!” 2. Frequency and time of communication: Maintain communication at least once a week, and the most appropriate time is on weekends, so that the lives of children and grandparents will not be disturbed. Children\’s attention span is limited, so a conversation of 5-15 minutes is enough. If it lasts longer, the child will get bored. 3. Communication content: Children can talk to their grandparents about recent events, or they can show off new skills they have learned. Grandparents can tell stories to children, especially when their parents were young, or when the children themselves were born. I remember that I loved listening to my grandma talk about how my dad used to be naughty and how he was taught a lesson by his grandpa. I never feel like I have nothing to talk to the elderly. As parents, you can tell grandparents about your child\’s hobbies in advance, which can make their communication last longer. 4. Regular meetings and phone or video communication are of course not enough. It is better to meet regularly and let the children play with their grandparents. For example, children will be curious about where they come from. You can try to let the children and grandparents draw a family tree together; you can also let the grandparents play educational games with the children, such as chess and guessing puzzles. Let children learn to think and let the elderly maintain their brain power, killing two birds with one stone. There is no need for mothers and fathers to be too afraid of educating their children in a separate generation. The more people who love their children, the happier the children will grow!