Wrestling Dad: Weak people cannot be good parents

There is a saying that \”women are weak by nature, but mothers are strong\”. I have always felt that people in the world have many misunderstandings about this sentence. Too many people interpret this sentence as: Women are originally weak, but they become stronger immediately after becoming a mother. not like this. Women who are weak at heart will still be weak when they become mothers, and they will also use their own \”weakness\” to influence their children, depriving them of the possibility of becoming stronger. Parents with strong hearts will pass on their inner independence and determination to their children, so that their children can become strong people who can control their own lives. As the saying goes, \”Women are naturally weak, but mothers are strong.\” The first half of the sentence probably means that women\’s physical condition is originally weak, and the second half means that if they are strong in heart, they will be strong as mothers. And if parents are weak at heart, it will ruin their children\’s lives. The recently popular movie \”Dangal!\” Father Singh in \”Dad\” is a father with a very strong heart. The story told in the movie is very simple: Singh, a father who once won the Indian national wrestling championship, hopes to have a son to fulfill his dream of becoming a world wrestling champion. But he gave birth to three children in a row, all daughters. When he was about to give up, he accidentally discovered that his two daughters had wrestling talents, so he decided to train his daughters to become world wrestling champions. In the end, he succeeded, and his daughter also got rid of the established life of an Indian woman as a husband and raised children because of her wrestling career, and she was able to freely control her own life. Many people criticized \”Dangal!\” Admittedly, from the perspective of universal values, this film has too many points that can be criticized: the father allows his daughter to live with her own dreams; the father forces his daughter to win gold or silver medals; In order to train the daughters to wrestle, they even cut off their hair and asked them to sacrifice the happiness of girls… But I just feel that these flaws are the valuable part of this film, because it is so down-to-earth. He is not talking about education in a utopia, but puts all this into the context of the extremely low status of women in India. In India, due to gender discrimination, it is normal for girls to be killed at birth. It is common for girls to be raped when they grow up. And as mentioned in the movie, many girls will be killed as soon as they reach the age of thirteen or fourteen in order to reduce the burden on their families. She was married into a strange man\’s house, and from then on she took care of her husband and raised her children. She had endless housework to do throughout her life. If you talk to women in such a country about the happiness of adolescent girls and the right to freely develop their personal hobbies, it is just another way of saying, \”Why not eat minced meat?\” This is the same as talking about weight loss and fitness with a person who is too hungry to eat. Why did Mr. Singh force his daughter to learn wrestling? On the one hand, of course, he hopes that his daughter will fulfill his unfulfilled wish; on the other hand, he really loves his daughter, and he does not want his daughter to spend her whole life in a low status and being dominated by others like ordinary Indian women. I hope my daughter will become strong, be able to freely control her own life, and have more choices about her own life. I watched \”Dangal!\” In a deleted scene from \”Dad\”, the children\’s mother worriedly asked Singer\’s father: \”What if my daughter can\’t get married in the future after learning wrestling?\” Singer\’s father replied: \”In the future, they can choose their own partners.\” And at the end of the film, the bigWhen his daughter Geeta was about to play in the final of her first international competition, Singh\’s father said to her: \”If you win tomorrow, your victory will not only belong to you, but also to the tens of millions of girls in India who are considered inferior to boys. Children, victory belongs to those girls who are imprisoned in housework to support their husbands and raise their children.\” It is not bad for girls to live a life of raising their husbands and raising their children. If this is what the girls themselves choose willingly, then of course it is good. However, in the Indian context, the vast majority of girls have no choice at all. Instead, they are forced by society and their families to live a life of caring for their husbands, raising children, and doing housework. Beyond that, there is no second option. As for Singh\’s father, he hopes that his daughter can gain the right to control her own life and have more choices through her wrestling career. She can choose her own partner, her own lifestyle, whether she wants to stay in her hometown in India or live abroad, whether she wants to raise her husband and raise children, or whether she wants to focus on her career. Only those who have the right to choose their own lives can be respected by fate, can become strong in life, and can achieve happiness in the true sense. Because her happiness is no longer arranged by others, but is chosen by herself, and she is responsible for it. Why can Mr. Singh do this? Is it just because he wants to force his daughter to fulfill her dream? of course not. It\’s because Mr. Singh himself is a very strong man. First, he has a clear goal and is willing to expend energy and endure ridicule to achieve it. He let his daughters learn wrestling and was personally involved in every aspect of their training. There was no training ground, so he personally cleared a crop field for the children to train; without opponents, he went to persuade relatives to let the children\’s cousin be a sparring partner; without money to buy nutritional supplements of chicken, he put down his dignity and went to fight with the chicken seller. The boss bargained for chicken… In the process, he had to endure the ridicule of the villagers, the doubts of his family, and the rebellion of his daughter. If his heart is not strong, it will be difficult for Mr. Singh to stick to his goals. Secondly, he is also very smart. He not only discovered the wrestling talent of his daughters, but also made his daughters fall in love with wrestling little by little. Another very important point is that he is very confident. He always believes that his daughter can do it. Therefore, he dared to let his daughter take a new path, a path different from other Indian women. This alone is much better than ordinary parents. Ordinary people will only follow the crowd; only the strong dare to fly against the wind. I had a friend in college who loved watching Japanese comics since he was a child, and he taught himself Japanese and animation in high school. He really wanted to make animation as a career, and he even had a slogan: \”Fight for the rise of Chinese comics.\” Unfortunately, his parents did not support his dream and believed that working in animation was too unsafe, so when applying for the college entrance examination, they forced him to apply for an economics major that everyone thought was very popular. They hoped that he could become a civil servant after graduation and live a stable life. As a result, this friend started failing classes after he got to college because he didn\’t want to study economics at all. Fortunately he met a good teacher. The teacher talked to him, understood his thoughts, and encouraged him toEncourage him to change his major to study Japanese (because he has no art scores and cannot change to animation major). Later, this friend really majored in Japanese and studied very well. After graduation, he went to Japan to study animation. Now he has entered the animation industry after returning to China and has a prosperous career. Fortunately, fortunately, he did not follow his parents\’ ideas, study economics and then take the civil service examination, and live a stable life that is recognized by everyone. Because of his talent, he belongs to animation and will not belong to the civil service job. Weak parents cannot support their children\’s dreams because they themselves do not have the courage to realize their own dreams. They only know how to \”follow the crowd and have enough to eat\” and just want their children to live the same life as everyone else. Only strong parents can discover the true talents of their children and spare no effort to cultivate their children into the kind of person they should be. That\’s what Daddy Singh is like. What will parents who are weak at heart do? The weaker the parents, the better they are at depriving their children of their right to choose, in order to strengthen their control over their children, and then pass on the pressure that they cannot bear to their children. For example, Cao Qiqiao in \”The Story of the Golden Lock\”, after she suffered so much from the Jiang family and knew that she was destined to lose Jiang Jize\’s true love, she became a mother who seemed very strong but was actually extremely weak at heart. She was unable to make herself happy, so she could only gain a little sense of security by controlling the lives of her two children. She killed two daughters-in-law, destroyed her daughter\’s marriage, and controlled the lives of her two children in an almost perverted way. She is not happy herself, and she does not want her children to be happy. She wants to pass on all the unhappiness she has suffered in her life to her children. Of course, Cao Qiqiao is an extreme example. But the type of underdog she represents is not uncommon. The biggest characteristic of weak people being parents is to gain a sense of security by controlling the direction of their children\’s lives. Rather than educating children so that they have the right to freely choose their lives. There is also such a mother in \”A Dream of Red Mansions\”. The most typical one is Aunt Zhao. In Jia\’s house, Aunt Zhao is undoubtedly weak. She also vented her weakness on her son Jia Huan. On the surface, she has been scolding her son for not living up to expectations and scolding Jia Huan for being useless. In fact, she is scolding Jia Huan to express her resentment and despicability, and at the same time, she is controlling Jia Huan and letting him live in the same life as herself. In humbleness. For example, one time, Jia Huan and the girl Yinger lost money playing dice. After returning home, Aunt Zhao scolded him: \”Who told you to go to the high table to play? You are a dirty and shameless thing! You can\’t play there? Who told you to run away and beg for money?\” Isn’t this interesting?” Aunt Zhao’s words have a central idea: you are despicable, you have to know that you are despicable. In fact, Jia Huan is a young master and his status is much higher than that of Aunt Zhao. He is not humble. It\’s a pity that he has been living under the control of Aunt Zhao. Aunt Zhao is very weak, so she controls Jia Huan and makes Jia Huan as weak as her. Growing up in this kind of environment, Jia Huan could only become more obscene and unlovable. What should we do with parents like this? Learn to explore spring. Aunt Zhao gave birth to two children, and Jia Huan was controlled by her. Of course she also wanted to control Tanchun. It\’s a pity that Tanchun has awakened and is beyond her control. She has vision, talent, and can see clearly, Cao XueqinThe word \”sensitivity\” is used to describe Tanchun, saying that she is \”talented, smart and ambitious\”. She knew very well what she wanted to do with her life. There is no other good way to get rid of weak parents but to make yourself strong, so strong that you are not controlled by weak parents. A truly good life is one that neither controls others nor is controlled by others. No matter parents or children, only having a strong heart is the only way to happiness. As for how to become mentally strong, the answer to this question can be both very broad and extremely refined. I don’t want to go into a long story, so I’ll end with Yi Shu’s words: “Love yourself, be calm, and then love others.”