Wrong, wrong, wrong! Please tell your children seriously, \”Studying must be hard, and it is the same all over the world\”?

\”Daughter, studying is definitely hard, and you have to work hard.\” One day after dinner, my daughter continued to do her homework, and ran out to drink water after finishing it for a while, \”Mom, I am so tired from doing homework, and I am not happy at all.\” Of course, studying cannot be easy. \”Why don\’t you work hard? Hurry up and write, then you can go to bed early.\” My daughter muttered, \”It\’s so annoying.\” Like other mothers, I used to think that reading requires a hard-working spirit, so every time my child complained about being lazy, I would give her some advice. But recently, my 11-year-old daughter started not to buy it very much. She even yelled at me, \”Are you annoying? You only talk about me every time.\” The more times we had these conversations, I gradually felt that something was not right. , but I never knew why this happened. Later I found out that it was the consequences of telling children \”don\’t be afraid of hard work\”. Studying is hard all over the world, so you have to work hard too? There is a widely circulated article \”Please tell your children: Studying must be hard, and it is the same all over the world!\” \”, which conveys our misconception very well. Viewpoint 1. People who achieve certain achievements need to work hard, and the learning process must be hard. Viewpoint 2. The learning process is boring and hard. Happy learning refers to obtaining excellent academic results. Viewpoint 3. Children naturally like to play, and the current living environment has no burden. Children are often happy and have no worries. If parents clearly tell their children that \”learning is hard\”, how can they take the initiative to study hard? Telling primary school students that studying is hard will actually do bad things. Education expert Yin Jianli once said this: Don’t “work hard” when studying. It is impossible for a person to hate one thing and do it well at the same time. Especially when our children are in primary school, parents emphasize that studying is hard, which is not only ineffective but also counterproductive. why? 1. We think that children don’t understand that hard work is needed to achieve results, so we simply and rudely explain this to the child. Once she understands, she will work hard. Hey, if it were that simple, there would be no need to worry. This is what you tell young people, \”Insomnia is bad for your health, you should go to bed early.\” You tell smokers, \”Smoking is harmful to your health. You should quit smoking.\” , don’t always get angry.” The truth is clear, but it’s useless to say it. When you hear other people\’s advice, if you are an adult, he will reply to you by saying, \”Yes, I know that too, but I can\’t do it.\” Adults are more mature and sensible than children. Most adults cannot do this. Why should we be demanding of children whose minds are still developing? 2. If we have accepted in our concept that \”as long as you tell your children that studying is hard work and the children understand, they will work hard\”, then there is a hidden danger that will bring bad implications to the children. Why is this? If we have all told our children, \”You have to work hard, everything is hard, including studying.\” Don\’t worry, the children will definitely not be able to work hard spontaneously, and then we can\’t help but do it again and again. And San said something like this. The big principles evolved into the big nagging. When children are constantly surrounded by words like \”You should work hard\” but they can\’t do it themselvesHow will we evaluate our children then? What do children think of themselves? We may feel: The child is really disobedient. The child is really ignorant. The child still doesn’t understand the need to study hard. If a child agrees with his parents\’ evaluation, what will he think of himself? I\’m so useless. Why am I so useless? If a child doesn\’t want to admit her own uselessness, she will resist and oppose your words, so the daughter says: \”Mom is annoying, mom is nagging.\” I see. Therefore, words such as \”Studying is hard work, you have to work hard\” do not play a role in making children diligent, and may even have the opposite effect. Teacher Yin Jianli suggested that even in high school, when students should work hard, they should downplay their feelings about \”study is hard\”. Do people who achieve great things work hard? Malcolm Gladwell\’s work \”Outliers\” proposed the 10,000-hour rule, which applies to all disciplines and all fields. The 10,000-hour rule says that any ordinary person who wants to become an expert in a certain field can go from ordinary to extraordinary through 10,000 hours of deliberate practice. In other words, as long as there is enough training, everyone can become an expert, not to mention children becoming academic masters. Isn’t it very hard to train for 10,000 hours? Isn’t it more necessary to work hard? Let’s first look at what hard work is. Hard work is a personal feeling, and everyone feels it differently. Like likes and dislikes, this is a subjective feeling. Therefore, some people may find cooking very hard, but some people enjoy the process of cooking or cooking for others, and do not find it hard, and are even happy. Therefore, whether it is hard work or not, the person concerned has the final say. And this feeling will change. Have you ever devoted yourself to something, and then time flies by. You have invested so much time in doing this, do you find it hard? 10,000 hours is a long time, and it depends on the individual whether it is hard work or not, but if it is not done voluntarily but is forced to do it, he will rebound once given the opportunity. Because I can hold it in for a while, but not for too long. If I hold it in for a long time, of course I have to run away. Therefore, we still need to protect our children\’s interests, even until they reach adulthood, when their minds are mature. In addition, when children become interested, they can proactively arrange their own study time, and rarely have to procrastinate on homework? This treats \”interest\” as an elixir that can cure all diseases. No matter how much adults like, they have to take a break and want to be lazy, so it is important to protect their interests, but interests are not some mysterious secrets to pass the level, so you can sit back and relax. Are all children who study well particularly interested in learning? Learning can be regarded as a project management for children, covering all aspects. The only bottom line that parents must grasp is not to make children bored or afraid of learning. I once chatted with a primary school teacher who has been teaching for 30 years. This veteran teacher has recently been researching how to use software and Internet tools to make children more interested in learning (as an aside: of course I recommended Liumi to her). She has been studying how to make children more interested in class and make learning presentations more diverse and less boring. At that time, she said something that left a deep impression on me, “After teaching for so many years, let’s not talk about making all children like going to school, because children are different., Parents’ education is different. It is really unrealistic to make all children like reading, but at least let them not hate studying. \”Attention! It doesn\’t mean that you hate it, but you don\’t have to like it very much. For most parents, there is no problem in theory to make their children love learning, but there are too many factors to achieve it, so it is not easy. But It is much more achievable to prevent children from hating reading. We need to let children realize that reading is their own business. What parents have to do every day is work, and as students, what they have to do every day is study. For Achieving good grades at a certain stage is enough if you don\’t hate it. Several students have queued up to leave messages under Limi, \”I am a top student, but I don\’t know why I don\’t like doing homework.\” This is normal. I don\’t like it. Do homework, but don’t hate reading, and don’t be afraid of homework. Maybe you can also like school and play with classmates. Of course you can study well.