You can choose to live a free and unrestrained life, but who is responsible for the future of your child?

Zhang Yi\’s eldest daughter received admission notices from eight major universities this year. Some people envy her and say she has a good life. But she said, God is fair, and what you pay for is what you will gain. So, what you need to think about is, if you choose a certain lifestyle, are you willing to accept the consequences it brings? My friend Xie Dalan has been extremely depressed during this period. What are you upset about? She was upset because her son did not do well in the college entrance examination. Well, that kid really didn\’t just do poorly in the exam, he really did very poorly in the exam and couldn\’t pass all three books. This is actually nothing, but the problem is that Xie Dalan originally thought that her son could get one. Xie Dalan is a fashionable woman. When I was in high school, I got along well with my current husband, so I naturally failed the college entrance examination without any suspense. After failing the exam, I didn’t even consider re-study, so I went out into the world with my boyfriend. The two\’s talents, which were not shown in the examination room, were put to good use in the business. They started their own small company after working outside for four or five years. Subsequent marriage and childbirth were a matter of course. When their son was born, Xie Dalan and her husband were only 22 or 23 years old, which was the age when they were playful, not to mention that the couple was already playful. After breastfeeding her child for four months, she originally had an abundant supply of milk. However, Xie Dalan got the knowledge from somewhere that breastfeeding would affect her figure, so she weaned her son off the breast despite the old man\’s dissuasion. After weaning the child, Xie Dalan threw the child to his parents and flew up happily as if he had been given a new life. The young couple put all their energy into business, travel, and mahjong, but they didn\’t pay any attention to their son. We can only envy their free and easy life. They have two conditions for choosing this lifestyle: 1. There is an old man who can help wholeheartedly; 2. The couple can relax themselves. They think that as long as their children have enough to eat Wear warm clothes, have someone to take you to and from school, everything is OK, so the upbringing of your children can be left to others. The free and unrestrained time always flies by. In a blink of an eye, the child is 18 years old, an adult, and taking the college entrance examination. The child\’s college entrance examination results pulled the couple from the clouds to the ground. After learning about their child\’s results, the couple refused to leave the house for several days. They felt embarrassed and sighed, complaining that God was unfair to them. After the pain subsided a little, I found that \”blaming God\” was of no avail, so I started \”blaming others\”. The culprit was naturally my unsatisfactory son. class. In order to improve your grades, how much money did you spend on tutoring teachers? Apart from gaining weight over the years, what else have you gained? Speaking of my son\’s fleshy body, I also feel that my son\’s grandparents are also hateful. They don\’t know how to truly love their children, and they are afraid that they won\’t have enough to eat. They eat all kinds of food every day and turn this smart and good child into a \”fat one\”. pig\”. well! In fact, Xie Dalan really doesn\’t have to be like this, and he shouldn\’t be like this. Xie Dalan gave birth to her child and breastfed her for four months. After that, the child was always taken care of by her grandparents. She stayed at the school in middle and high school and went home once a week, mostly to her grandparents\’ house. Xie Dalan and his wife spent money on their children, but if we want to say how much energy and effort they spent, it is estimated that the coupleBoth of them were embarrassed to say this. That being the case, what\’s there to complain about? In the past eighteen years, because there were no children to tie them down, the couple lived as freely and freely as an unmarried man and woman, which attracted the envy of many people; and because there were no children to distract their energy, the two of them focused most of their efforts on their own business, so the business was booming. He has accumulated considerable wealth for his family. You get what you pay for. Xie Dalan and his wife put in their energy in the business, so there is a harvest in the business; they didn\’t put in the effort in raising their children, so their children\’s growth was unsatisfactory. Very fair! If you choose a certain lifestyle, you have to accept the consequences it brings. I think Xie Dalan and his wife should be grateful to the child\’s grandparents. They performed their parental duties on behalf of Xie Dalan and his wife and made the child feel the warmth of the family. Therefore, although the child\’s grades are not good, he has not contracted bad habits and is physically and mentally healthy. Thank God for this. Thank you, grandparents. Another friend of mine didn\’t seem to be so lucky. A few days ago, our friends Wang Gang and his wife came back from Zhuhai for business and came to visit us. During the chat, they talked about their children. For people of our age, this is a constant topic. However, when it comes to their children, the smiles on the couple\’s faces disappear. The mother even burst into tears. But I didn\’t want to cry with her. I think the couple owes his daughter. Mr. and Mrs. Wang Gang have been our friends for many years and used to work in the same place as us. Their daughter Wang Peipei is three months older than my daughter. She is a very smart little girl. Pepe\’s father is very busy at work. Although Pepe\’s mother is not busy at work, she is very playful, so she is also busy. The couple had no time to take care of the children, but fortunately Pepe\’s grandmother helped. When Pepe was in fourth grade, something strange happened to her family. Peipei\’s father, Wang Gang, made a friend who he said could tell fortunes and read Feng Shui. In short, he was very good at it. I don’t know why, but the master insisted that Peipei’s grandmother was not good for Peipei’s family, and told Wang Gang and his wife that Peipei’s grandmother must return to her hometown and not live with Wang Gang and his wife. How old is this? I actually think someone believes this. But some people actually believe it. Wang Gang and his wife sent their grandmother home. It’s easy to send grandma home, but who will take Peipei? Dad is busy working and socializing, and mom is busy dancing and playing cards. Peppa became an unsupervised child. At noon, I went to a private unlicensed daycare class in front of the school, and in the afternoon I took a motorcycle illegally carrying passengers home. When I was picking up my daughter, I saw ten-year-old Pepe skillfully getting on the back seat of a motorcycle many times, and a driver I didn’t know drove her away at high speed. Witnessing all this, I was so frightened that I couldn\’t help but hold my daughter\’s tender little hand tightly. Since we are close friends, I have persuaded Pepe\’s mother several times to pick up and drop off the child by herself, so that I can pay more attention to the child. Pepe\’s mother dismissed my suggestion, saying that Pepe was very independent, had her own personality, and was not as dependent on her mother as my daughter. The children are in junior high school. They are in the same middle school, which is the best junior high school in our local area. We chose the semi-boarding system, resting in the school dormitory at noon and going home at night;The Pei family chose a full boarding system. Peipei\’s mother said that it saves worries. The school is so strictly managed, so the child doesn\’t have to worry about it. However, I feel that no matter how good the school is and how strict the management is, parents cannot be absent from the growth of their children, and they cannot ignore it in the name of making their children independent. In the first half of the first half of the first year of junior high school, Pepe came to my house once. I felt that the child had changed a lot. The most obvious change is that when talking to the elders, he is absent-minded, has no eye contact, and basically does not look directly into the eyes of the elders. And he always pays attention to his QQ and is not interested in things around him. I felt that Peipei\’s problem was serious, and I was really worried about her. I called Pepe\’s mother to talk to her, but Peipei\’s mother said that her daughter was fine. I hope everything goes well for Peppa, who is the child I watched grow up! Since then, due to work transfers, our two families had few opportunities to meet each other. Occasionally, I heard my daughter come home and say that the school radio criticized Pepe for violating disciplines throughout the school. Another time, during a school club activity, my daughter was chatting with classmates from other classes. When they talked about Peipei, the classmates from other classes were shocked: \”How do you know Wang Peipei? It\’s impossible. A good student like you actually knows Wang Peipei.\” ?\” Oh my god, what\’s wrong with Pepe? The children are in high school. My daughter entered the best local high school with a score of more than 50 points exceeding the free admission limit for the best local middle school. Pepe went to another school. Once, we had an appointment with two families to get together, but Peppa didn\’t go with her parents. During the dinner, Peipei\’s father sighed and said, \”This child can\’t be controlled anymore. I don\’t know when he became so wild.\” Through their stories, I learned something about the child. Peppa\’s grades were so bad when he was a freshman that he had to pay to go to this school. The school had no dormitories and the children had to go home every day, but Pepe often didn\’t go home until midnight. During the Spring Festival, Pepe\’s parents took Pepe back to his hometown to celebrate the New Year. Pepe had to come back on the third day of the new year because there was a class reunion the next day. Her father refused to send her away, so she dragged the box back from the countryside by herself. Peppa\’s father couldn\’t resist her, so he had to send her for a ride. In other words, the couple once again allowed their children to leave them alone, and this was during the Spring Festival when thousands of families were reunited. When saying goodbye that day, Pepe\’s father said that a few days ago, Pepe went home at two o\’clock in the middle of the night. He was riding a motorcycle with his classmates and got into a small car accident. One of his legs was broken. During this time, Pepe was recuperating at home. They wanted Pepe to come and stay at our house for a day or two so that my daughter could influence her. A few days later, Pepe came to my house. After not seeing him for so many years, I really don’t dare to recognize the changes in this child. A very pretty and fashionable little girl. Her shoulder-length hair was permed into big waves, dyed a fashionable burgundy color, and she wore colored contact lenses. The front of her T-shirt was covered with rivets. Pepe is only three months older than my daughter. But now, she looks six or seven years more mature than my daughter, and she is completely a fashionable social young woman. After spending a night with Pepe, I felt that she didn\’t want to tell her elders what was on her mind, but when you look at her carefully, you can still vaguely see the innocent and smart Pepe in her childhood through her greatly changed appearance. I thought to myself, this child can beIt\’s possible to get back on track, but it requires a lot of patience and a lot of love. And those who can give these things to children are the children’s most beloved parents. Later, Peipei\’s father was transferred to Zhuhai for work. He contacted her occasionally and heard that they planned to let Pepe transfer to Zhuhai to get away from her bad friends. The situation should be better. I am an outspoken person and said: \”You must turn your focus to your child, accompany her, care for her, and love her. At least one of you must be fully devoted to Peppa, otherwise, it will be useless to transfer anywhere.\” . I will regret it in the future.” Pepe’s parents did not comment. Now, I don’t know if Pepe’s mother’s tears are regrets. I heard from them that Pepe refused to go to Zhuhai at first, but later she went, but she did not cut off contact with her friends here, and she even got worse. She made a bunch of new friends in Zhuhai, and she didn\’t go home for half a year. If you don\’t go to school, you will be expelled from the new school. When I heard that my daughter had been admitted to a prestigious school, Pepe\’s mother said with red eyes, \”You are lucky.\” I remained silent because I was speechless by this sentence. I once thought narrowly that a mother should devote herself wholeheartedly to her children, and that success in any career could not make up for the failure in educating her children. When people reach middle age, their perspective and way of looking at problems change. I think everyone has the right to choose, including mothers. Some people choose to live comfortably by themselves, regardless of other things; some people choose to do their best to help their children live a wonderful life; some people want both their children and themselves, and make progress together with their children. So there are different lifestyles, as long as you are willing to accept the consequences of your lifestyle. If you choose a certain way of life, are you willing to accept the consequences?