You can never win the food war with your kids

Recently many friends backstage asked me, my baby doesn’t like to eat, and he has to be coaxed and teased every time he eats. It’s like fighting. It’s really painful. What should I do? I really want to use the three words \”whatever\” to answer this question accurately and concisely, but in line with the long-winded style of always being high, deep, thoughtful, methodical and complaining, I decided to use these three words. Expand in one word and explain why \”whatever he wants\” is the best and only solution. Many battles about eating have already started when breastfeeding. Mothers record their children\’s milk volume accurately to the 1 ml level. The scale on the milk bottle has successfully prevented feeding anxiety from birth. Comparing the age and milk volume in the table, mothers collapsed over and over again, inventing various ways to make their babies drink more milk. The most exaggerated method I heard is to put it in the car and drive it at a speed of more than 60 miles per hour. , to drink milk, and I don’t know whether it is milk or gasoline. When it comes to feeding complementary foods, the war escalates. Mothers measure their babies\’ food intake almost with the precision of a chemical experiment. How many tablespoons of fruits, how many tablespoons of vegetables, how many tablespoons of grains, how many tablespoons of meat should be consumed every day at what age? There are standards for that. If you eat more than the standard, you will naturally feel very happy. If you eat less than the standard, you will feel like you will be malnourished in minutes. If you fail to meet the standard for several days, you will be so worried that you can\’t sleep, so you will feel idle and anxious. Parents and grandparents used their brains to invent various creative ways to feed food, which are often updated every day~~~ First, they coaxed: \”Hey, darling, take another bite, it smells so good.\” Then there was teasing: while performing the show, while the baby was laughing, he quickly stuffed it in. Finally, all kinds of props were brought to the dining table: various toys, books, and weird things that the baby liked. As long as he played with them, he would swallow them in a daze. There are only so many things in the house, and there will always be a day when the kids get tired of playing with them. Finally, it’s time for screen artifacts to come into play. Mobile phones, iPads, and TVs all show their magic. The kids won’t move when they stare at them, and they can put whatever they want into their mouths. Of course, as long as you have some common sense, you will know that these things can hurt your eyes and should be used with caution, so many people have embarked on the road of no return by chasing after feeding. It’s not uncommon to see people chasing after you not only in the house, but also in the yard. In the food war, you may win every battle without realizing that you have already lost the entire battle. Your child may not be able to speak yet, but he has already firmly controlled you. He knows that his mother is doing everything for him. You can do many, many things by eating the little thing in the spoon. Wow, such a useful tool, why don’t you use it quickly? When eating becomes a kind of bargaining chip that can successfully kidnap an anxious mother, the child becomes a greedy kidnapper. Which kidnapper have you ever seen who kept his word? At this time, some mothers jumped out and said, I am a principled mother, so I will not chase after feeding. The baby must sit in a high chair and is not allowed to get down until he finishes eating! I am patient and can afford to spend an hour or two! Well, principled mother, when you spend five or six hours every day fighting with your baby at the dinner table, watching your baby reluctantly swallow all the food with tears in his eyes, do you think you are cultivating his love?Eat or train him to hate eating? Children who are forced to eat have forgotten that food can be delicious and can satisfy hunger. Food has become a heavy task and pressure. Who will have appetite in the face of tasks and pressure? You let him swallow the food, but you have ruined his appetite. Are you sure you are doing him a favor? Someone else said, \”I understand what you said, Chengzi, but I really can\’t watch my child eat so little every day!\” He wants to grow taller! Lack of nutrition, look at him, he is so thin and small! So I want to ask you, how do you know he eats less, and how do you know how much he should eat? Do you know how much your child consumes every day? Do you know what type of nutrition his body needs most right now? Do you know whether his growth and development are in a period of rapid growth or a plateau? Do you know what the absorption efficiency of his gastrointestinal tract is? Do you know what body shape would be best for him? You don’t know these questions, and even less does the expert who compiled a ridiculous table of infant food intake know. The amount mentioned in the table is just an average. You should know that “average” is unreliable. Funny thing – if you stand with Jack Ma, your income will be immediately averaged into a wealthy person – do you really want to torture your children with that unreliable number? As for how much to eat, the child himself has the most say. I once read a book that divided children\’s eating styles into four categories: the first type, eating for the sake of deliciousness, the second type, eating to be full, the third type, eating so as not to be hungry, and the fourth type. Plant and eat so as not to starve to death. Children of the first type are born to be foodies and are the objects of envy. Children of the fourth type are as if they have anorexia. They are dying of drought and flooding. The reason why species continue to thrive is because of the huge individual differences. Therefore, no matter what disaster or change comes, there will always be fish that slip through the net and will not be wiped out. So, please accept your baby\’s eating type. If he only eats a little bit, he can maintain his own health. What a wonderful gene it is to travel back to the ancient times when he didn\’t have enough to eat! You have to believe that no matter how ignorant a child is, he or she will never go wrong by starving himself. After millions of years of evolution, there cannot be a trace of the gene that harms himself. If you think your baby is too thin and you can force him to eat more and he will grow taller and stronger, then it is your illusion again. You must have been jealous of people who don\’t gain weight no matter how much they eat, and you must have seen people who don\’t grow taller no matter how much they take supplements. Maybe you are one of them. How do you know your child doesn\’t have this weird gene? All in all, instead of fighting a losing war, it is better to surrender from the beginning and give the baby the power of what and how much to eat, and let him know that if he doesn\’t eat, he will only be hungry. With. Only a child who has experienced hunger will understand the deliciousness of food. It should not only be experienced once, but must be experienced often so that he will not forget it. If you have feeding anxiety and cannot be cured for a long time, you can refer to the following prescriptions: 1. It is rare to be confused, and out of sight is out of mind. Don’t measure and estimate how much your baby eats. Feed him until he stops eating. Don’t look at the rest. Directly Throw it away. 2. Know your baby’s appetiteIt\’s the rhythm of convulsions. You may eat a lot of everything in the past two days, and then you can\’t eat anything in the next two days. If you are sick, it will be like a hunger strike. Be calm and believe that what he lacks when his appetite is poor will be replenished when his appetite is good. 3. Unless you enjoy the cooking process, don’t spend too much time and thought on setting up a small stove to cook a big meal for your baby, because the more effort you put in, the higher your expectations will be. If your baby doesn’t appreciate it, the possibility of your collapse will greatly increase. 4. Try to let the baby eat by himself. If you are mysophobic and can\’t stand it, then don\’t look at it and turn your head to rub your stove. After twenty minutes, look back and you will find that the endgame is not as bad as you thought. 5. Remember, how much other people’s children eat has nothing to do with your children. 6. Timing, a meal definitely does not need to take more than 20 minutes, he is not eating slowly, he is not hungry enough. 7. I have the physical strength to chase after feeding, take the baby out to run wildly and run wildly, let the baby climb up and down, and when I bring him back, I want to eat the whole bowl. 8. Don’t talk to your child about the benefits of eating a lot. Not only is it useless, but it also puts a lot of pressure on him. Think about it when you eat for yourself, are you doing it to be nutritious or to taste good? 9. There are many reasons for not being hungry. The important one is that you are full from snacks. 10. Eating requires atmosphere. Try to eat together as a family. 11. Provide various types of food and let your child choose what to eat. Although he may be picky at a certain meal, in the long run he will definitely have a balanced diet like a nutritionist. 12. If you really can\’t do the above, just give birth to a second child, and your family\’s food will be robbed and no juice will be left. Finally, I will speak from my own experience. I once had feeding anxiety. When Mao Tou was just over one year old, I fought with him for 500 rounds every meal. The less he ate, the more worried I became and the tighter I pushed him, causing him to overeat. Less, and in the end it’s the same as a hunger strike. Later, I felt that I would become mentally ill if I continued, so I gave up the fight when I was exhausted, and ate whatever Maotou liked. As a result, he ate more and more. Although he occasionally had a poor appetite, in general, he was a child with a normal appetite and liked to eat. Sometimes when I meet friends and ask Maotou how he is eating, I will reply: I don’t know how he is eating. I really can’t control him about eating and can only let him make the decision. I hope all children can have the freedom to eat or not to eat