You can’t lose at the starting line of “high emotional intelligence performance”. How to be a person with high emotional intelligence?

I met a mother and her son in a shopping mall. The child was only about three or four years old. The mother asked the child to count, but the child couldn\’t count. The mother scolded: \”Why are you so stupid? You haven\’t learned it after being taught several times!\” The child cried in grievance. My mother was furious: \”Look, if you don\’t remember it quickly, you will lose at the starting line from the beginning. What will you do in the future?\” I saw this scene from the side and was very worried. Indeed, every parent hopes that their children will succeed in the future and do not want to fall behind when they start. This feeling is understandable. However, do parents understand which starting line they really cannot lose? Emotional intelligence determines children\’s achievements and happiness. Parents will raise their hands to agree with the view that \”confidence is important\”. Indeed, confident children believe in their own abilities, will not be easily intimidated by setbacks, and can work unremittingly, and are obviously more likely to succeed. , and confident children have independent opinions, are more proactive in interacting with others, and are more comfortable handling daily interpersonal relationships. A slight delay in counting and literacy does not necessarily have an impact on a child\’s future academic performance. However, when young children suffer setbacks in the learning process, parents treat them harshly, which will severely damage the child\’s self-confidence and self-esteem, and even cause the child to lose interest in learning. In fact, confidence is important. What really shouldn’t let children lose at the starting line is not counting or literacy, but EQ, emotional intelligence! Why is emotional intelligence so important? Every parent hopes that their children will have a good job in the future, so what is the key to performing well in the workplace? A large-scale survey of employees from Fortune 500 companies found that, regardless of industry, the impact of emotional intelligence on work performance is more than twice that of IQ (professional knowledge and skills)! In other words, if a child can only learn but does not have good emotional intelligence, it may be difficult for him to adapt to the environment in the future and perform well in the workplace. I believe you must have encountered many people with high scores and low abilities. They have good academic performance, but they are not like a duck in water in the workplace. What\’s more, getting first in the exam does not guarantee that your child will be happy in future life. I wonder if you have also discovered that you have almost forgotten the calculus you learned in school, haha, but this has no impact on your and my current happiness, right? However, if a person does not have an optimistic and positive personality quality, he will definitely not be happy when he grows up. Therefore, if you want your children to have good development and happiness in the future, please don’t just focus on your children learning to count and read, but please focus on cultivating your children’s emotional intelligence. Don’t miss this critical period for developing emotional intelligence. So, what exactly is emotional intelligence? Emotional Quotient, English EQ (Emotional Quotient), is the ability to identify, understand and manage one\’s own and others\’ emotions, positively motivate oneself, and promote interpersonal relationships. For young children, emotional intelligence abilities include whether they have self-confidence, how to deal with negative emotions, whether they have self-control, how to deal with peer conflicts, etc. Many parents may think that when their babies grow up, they will naturally be able to handle their emotions or interpersonal conflicts. is it really like this? in fact, emotional intelligence ability needs to be learned and cultivated, and it needs to start from an early age. After doing emotional intelligence education for many years, I have discovered a common phenomenon. Parents are very concerned about and even anxious about their children\’s growth and development speed, but they often ignore the development of emotional intelligence abilities. For example, if a 1-year-old child cannot walk yet, parents will be worried; if a 2-year-old child cannot speak yet, parents will also worry if there is something wrong. In fact, if 3 or 4-year-old children cannot empathize and understand the emotions of others, parents should be more concerned! Empathy is the foundation of emotional intelligence. Getting along with others and managing conflicts are inseparable from the ability to empathize. 3 to 6 years old is a period when children\’s brains develop rapidly, and they also have the cognitive ability to learn emotional intelligence. This is the time when children can best lay a solid foundation for emotional intelligence. Therefore, if you don’t want your children to lose at the starting line, it is your duty to act as your child’s emotional intelligence coach. Parents, their children’s most important emotional intelligence coaches Parents are their children’s most important emotional intelligence coaches. Why do you say that? Because parents get along with their children day and night every day, and their every move is imitated and imitated by their children. Children can read emotions from your expressions, learn to infer other people\’s inner emotions from conversations with you, observe how to deal with emotions from you, and learn how to deal with others more effectively from interactions with parents. … Do you want your children to have high emotional intelligence? Please start practicing your emotional intelligence and grow up happily with your children! Handle your negative emotions well, keep an open mind when interacting with others, and provide your children with the most direct demonstration of emotional intelligence. In the process of guiding your child, let your child feel that you always love him, and provide him with the courage to explore outwards with confidence. Another very important tip is to skillfully guide children to develop their emotional intelligence abilities, such as choosing a story-telling method in picture books to internalize the elements of emotional intelligence into their hearts bit by bit. Finally, let us come back and see what the mother who is an excellent emotional intelligence coach would do in the opening case? Pay attention to the child\’s emotions and gently say to the child: \”The baby may be a little sad if the baby is not counted. Mom sees that the baby has worked hard. Let\’s think about how to count better…\” Use this as a great opportunity for emotional intelligence education. , do not frustrate children\’s self-confidence, encourage children to face setbacks, deal with frustration and loss, and learn to self-motivate. When children are confident and able to face the pressure and setbacks of learning, they will love learning and achieve the best results!