You get angry with your child just because he is weak and can be bullied

Xiaolan is a stay-at-home mother of two children. Her eldest son is in first grade and her youngest daughter has just learned to walk. When the second child was born, her mother-in-law came to take care of Xiaolan for four months, which was considered to be the most benevolent thing. After her mother-in-law returned, Xiaolan pushed the younger one in a stroller in the morning and sent the older one to kindergarten. Then she bought groceries, cooked, washed, mopped the floor, and took care of the children\’s eating, drinking, and peeing. In the evening, she pushed the younger one to pick up the older one. Going home to eat, do homework, wash up, and go to bed… People who are not full-time mothers of two children cannot understand how busy and tired they are every day. My husband is busy and rarely gets off work on time. He often works overtime on weekends. He cannot count on him for housework or children. In my husband\’s hometown, most families are based on the model where men take charge of the outside and women take charge of the house. The so-called \”female takes charge of the house\” actually means that women have to do all the housework. When a man comes home, he is waiting for dinner. Being able to serve the rice and dishes to the table is already considered as helping out. As for washing the dishes, that only happens when his wife is sick. In my husband\’s mind, there is a washing machine to wash clothes. As for your saying that socks and underwear should be washed separately, he doesn\’t know this. When you say that the children\’s clothes are dirty, they need to be washed first, which he doesn\’t understand. Housework has never been seen in his eyes, so he naturally doesn\’t help with housework, and he doesn\’t understand how much housework his wife does. After her son entered the first grade of elementary school, Xiaolan became even busier. Every night, she would hold the younger one in her left hand and rock her while coaxing her older son. With her right hand, she would give instructions on homework, such as \”If you don\’t cry, please be good, baby\” and \”There is a dot missing in the upper right corner of this word.\” , the two sentences connect seamlessly. Her son is slow-tempered, dilly-dallying, inattentive, and very inefficient in homework. Xiaolan, who is impatient, always has to push her. One night, my husband finished eating out and came home at almost 9 o\’clock. He drank a little wine, but he was not drunk. Xiaolan was helping her son with homework. When she saw her husband leaning on the sofa without taking off his shoes, she couldn\’t help but say that he had made the floor dirty. Her husband looked irritated and said, \”You stay at home all day and do nothing. Why don\’t you just wipe the floor? It\’s like you\’re doing something else!\” Xiaolan wanted to refute him, but she opened her mouth several times and held back. After drinking, the two children were here. It was almost 9 o\’clock and I still couldn\’t wash up and go to bed. Where would there be time to quarrel? Xiaolan, who was holding back her breath, became obviously anxious about her son\’s attitude. When he was writing math problems and poking holes in the eraser with a pencil, Xiaolan snatched the pencil and threw it into the toilet: \”Is the pencil used to poke holes in the eraser? You don\’t know what time it is now.\” Huh?\” Xiaolan, who became more and more angry as she spoke, grabbed her son\’s right hand and hit his palm hard. Still not relieved after the beating, she picked up an eraser and stuffed it into her son\’s mouth: \”I like eraser so much, why did you eat it? Ah!!!\” The son covered his mouth with his other hand and cried loudly. His daughter, who was sitting on the floor playing, was also frightened and cried. Her husband rushed over and pushed Xiaolan away… Xiaoli is a working mother, and her daughter is in the third class of kindergarten. , I am picked up and dropped off by my parents-in-law on weekdays. My parents-in-law came before the child was born and have been helping until now. Xiao Li is very grateful. Without them, I would have to quit my job to take care of the children, and it would be very difficult for my husband to support the family alone. However, there have been constant conflicts between Xiao Li and his mother-in-law. From the initial quarrel to the apparent peaceful coexistence now, Xiao Li has gone through a heartbreaking journey in the past few years. Between her and her mother-in-lawThe biggest contradiction lies in the different concepts of parenting. Xiao Li read a lot of parenting books, which focused on scientific parenting, while her mother-in-law was illiterate and followed customs and habits. They have never been able to convince each other. They were incompatible with each other at first, but now they turn a blind eye. One day not long ago, Xiao Li did not return to the company after a meeting outside, so he went to pick up his daughter from school. Because kindergarten ends early, she rarely has the opportunity to pick up her children. The daughter was very happy to see her mother coming to pick her up. When passing by a row of small shops, the child said she was hungry. Xiao Li asked her what she wanted to eat. She said meat buns. Of course Xiao Li disagreed. The meat buns made in the shop were one of the foods she was most opposed to giving to her children. A few years ago, my mother-in-law took her one-year-old daughter shopping for food. She often bought meat buns for the child to eat at the market. When Xiao Li found out, she had a quarrel. She said the meat they used might not be very good, and they might also use various seasoning additives! The mother-in-law said: \”Isn\’t every piece of pig meat meat? What does it matter if it is a little fatter? Our hometown uses lard for cooking! Besides, the children there eat steamed buns, and it doesn\’t matter! They can\’t eat this or that. You are the only one who has more to do with eating!\” Xiao Li couldn\’t explain it to her mother-in-law, but she clearly opposed buying meat buns for her children. So that day she suggested that the child eat fruit, yogurt, or biscuits, but the child didn\’t want any of them, not even vegetable buns, but only meat buns. When the child cried and made a fuss and said, \”Grandma buys meat buns for me to eat every day, why don\’t you buy them?\” Xiao Li was stunned. She didn\’t expect that her mother-in-law, despite her strong objections, secretly gave them to the child and told her, \” Don’t tell mom”. She lost control of her emotions in an instant. She picked up her daughter\’s arm and spanked her hard on her little buttocks. After the spanking, she yelled at her a few times and pushed her. The child sat on the ground and looked helplessly at his mother, tears falling down, but he did not dare to cry. Of course, Xiao Li regretted it immediately: he finally came to pick up the child, but ended up in such a situation. It was not the child\’s fault that he wanted to eat meat buns, but he took out his anger on her. The relationship between Xiao Zhang and her husband is cold. We were introduced to each other by a friend at the beginning. The first impression was pretty good, we were not young anymore, and the family was in a hurry, so we got married not long after. After getting married, Xiao Zhang realized that he knew too little about him, and the two of them simply had different views. Since the birth of our son, my husband has moved to a small guest room to sleep. One day not long ago, my husband was taking a shower. His cell phone on the coffee table suddenly rang. Xiao Zhang saw the caller ID \”Mr. Zhao\” and guessed it was her husband\’s boss, so he answered the phone and told him to call him back later. past. When she hung up and put down her phone, she glanced at the number 83 in the upper right corner of WeChat on the bottom menu bar. Why were there so many unread messages? She opened WeChat by mistake. When he saw the page where he was chatting with someone, it looked like it was a woman. She had sent many messages at this moment. When he took another look at the page, Xiao Zhang was shocked. The content of their chat was quite ambiguous. Xiao Zhang immediately realized that her husband had cheated on her, at least mentally. Because the relationship between the two was cold and they didn\’t care about each other, the husband even went so far as to set a password to protect himself. After her husband took a shower, he returned to the room with his cell phone. Xiao Zhang was so angry that he forgot to tell him that Mr. Zhao had been here.Telephone. That night Xiao Zhang almost stayed up all night. Sometimes she wants to question her husband tomorrow, sometimes she wants to get divorced, sometimes she worries that she won\’t be able to have children through divorce, and sometimes she worries that she won\’t be able to support her children. At noon the next day, Xiao Zhang came out of the kitchen to greet him for dinner. His son immediately dropped the blocks and climbed onto the table. Xiao Zhang asked him to put away the toys first, but he refused. After two attempts at persuasion failed, Xiao Zhang suddenly became furious. She rushed over and kicked the child\’s bucket of building blocks. The plastic bucket flew out, hit the wall and bounced back, leaving an obvious crack in the bucket. Xiao Zhang felt that it was not enough, so he grabbed a handful of blocks and threw them into the trash can. The child ran over crying and picked up blocks from the trash can. Xiao Zhang pinched the child\’s shoulders and shook it vigorously: \”Why don\’t you put away the toys? Why are you always disobedient!\” The child was shaken forward and backward by her, and she assured her intermittently: \”I will never dare again!\” She looked at the child with a full face. Xiao Zhang was crying with snot and tears, while blaming himself: He is not yet three years old! Why am I angry at him? ! Almost every mother will regret it after losing her temper with her child. However, she will still lose her temper with her child next time. This reminds me of men who are accustomed to domestic violence. They may be cautious when beating their wives for the first time because they are not sure whether she will resist. After the fight, I found that nothing happened, and I became familiar with it the second time. Therefore, some people say that there are only 0 and 100 times of domestic violence! The perpetrator will most likely regret it after committing domestic violence. Some kneel on the washboard and bear thorns to apologize, some buy gifts to apologize, some write written guarantees, and even more verbally apologize and swear. However, next time, they will beat their wives! Because his brain has regarded \”beating his wife\” as a safe way to vent his emotions. Once he loses control of his emotions, his brain will immediately make a familiar decision to \”beat his wife\”. In the first story, Xiaolan was angry because she was too tired and was despised by her husband, but why didn\’t she get angry with her husband? Because her husband will definitely fight back and belittle her even more! In the second story, Xiao Li was angry because her mother-in-law bought meat buns for her children to eat, but why didn\’t she go to her mother-in-law to argue? Because past experience told her that she was not sure of winning the argument. In the third story, Xiao Zhang was angry when she suspected that her husband was cheating on her, but why didn’t she immediately get angry with her husband? Because she wasn\’t sure she could have the upper hand, she needed to stay up all night thinking about it. Sometimes I was so angry with Xiao Xi, who was in junior high school, but I had to swallow my anger. At this time, if Xiao Nuo, who was in kindergarten, didn\’t do what I wanted in the slightest, I would have the urge to get angry at her. I can\’t do anything about my elder sister, but my younger sister is still old enough for me to control. In this world, only little children are the weakest and can be bullied! You hit him, scold him, yell at him, criticize him, belittle him, threaten and intimidate him, he will not resist! As long as you open his arms, he will still hold you tightly. As long as you say sorry, he will forgive you immediately and unconditionally! When we get angry at our children, it\’s not because the children have done something wrong, but because we are full of anger and have nowhere to vent it! I hope every mother who always loses her temper with her children can calm down and find the root of the problem. For the sake of poor children, be braveMoms who dare to face and solve their own problems! If you are too tired, take more rest! If you hate it too much, just fight back! No matter what, don\’t take it out on your kids!