You have lost weight! It’s tiring to go to work, and it’s hard to take care of the kids.

During the summer vacation, I took my son back to my mother’s house in the countryside. A neighbor saw me and said, \”You have lost weight.\” It’s tiring to go to work, and it’s hard to take care of children. I have lost a lot of weight, but I still look better if I am fatter. Some classmates saw me and said, \”You have lost weight.\” You are living a good life and have time to exercise. I have lost a lot of weight and look better. A friend saw me and said, you are finally back. It\’s still the same, with age you gain weight but not with age. I am in good spirits and in good condition. What is the reality? My weight has not changed, I am not tired at work, and it is not difficult to take care of my children. I have neither lost weight nor exercised. If you are a little thinner, you will not look thin, and if you are a little fatter, you will not look fat. Can a person who weighs more than 100 kilograms be three to five kilograms fatter or thinner? I can\’t anyway. What do I want to explain? It shows that everyone is subjective. There is no such thing as an absolutely objective person. Moreover, when everyone sees the same thing or person, in addition to the thing or person itself, it is also limited by their own growth experience, cultural level, attitude towards life, and cognitive level. Just talk about whether I have lost weight. My mother’s neighbor is an aunt who hasn’t read much. She lives a hard life. She not only has to work in a factory to earn money, but also has to take care of her children to cook when she comes home. People who work hard all year round tend to be thinner and always wish they could gain weight. Because the symbol of a good life in the countryside is white and fat. Therefore, in her opinion, my weight loss (according to the standard of being fat and fat) must be due to hard work and hard work. My classmates are office workers, and their careers and incomes are pretty good in the local area. With a house, a car and savings, people start to gain weight in middle age, so they fall in love with weight loss and fitness, always hoping to lose weight. Because the first sign of a good figure is thinness. Therefore, in her opinion, if I lost weight (according to the standard of good figure), it must be due to weight loss and fitness. Although my friend and I don\’t see each other very often, we often send WeChat messages and talk on the phone. In each other\’s hearts, we are still the same innocent teenagers we were back then. She doesn\’t care about your weight, she only cares about your mental state. Look, you are still the same you, just because different people look at you and give you different meanings. Therefore, there is really no need to forget about others\’ words of praise, and there is no need to be resentful because of others\’ words of criticism. If you have a relatively clear and objective understanding of yourself, you will not worry about gain or loss because of someone else\’s unintentional (or intentional) words. By being considerate of other people\’s moods and situations, you can let go of your prejudices and resentments against others. Just imagine, if someone had just stolen your money, you might not be able to appreciate the scenery of the Maldives. If you have just received a year-end bonus that exceeds your expectations, I am afraid that even a stormy night will be infinitely charming in your eyes. The world will always be a changeable and eternal world that is independent of human will. Because of our cognition and mentality, it may be ferocious or cute in our eyes. As it is often said, the world is a mirror, if you smile at it, it will smile at you. If you cry to it, it will cry to you. This is also a projection effect in psychology. Projection is the tendency to attribute one\’s own characteristics to others. When recognizing and forming impressions on others, the phenomenon of thinking that others also have characteristics similar to one\’s own, projecting one\’s own feelings, will, and characteristics onto others and imposing them on others, is a cognitive disorder of inferring oneself and others. for example,A kind-hearted person will think that others are kind; a person who often plots against others will feel that others are plotting against him, and so on. Teacher Zeng Qifeng said that a person’s inner activities will always be output. The trick to judge projection is that if a person has something in his heart, he will be sensitive to others, or he will have good taste. Regarding projection, the most famous story is undoubtedly the story of Su Dongpo and the monk Fayin. Su Dongpo, a famous scholar in the Song Dynasty, and the monk Fayin were good friends. One day, Su Dongpo went to visit Fa Yin and sat opposite Fa Yin. Su Dongpo joked to Fa Yin: \”I think you look like a pile of dog shit.\” Fa Yin smiled and said: \”I think you look like a golden Buddha.\” Su Dongpo felt that he I was very proud of taking advantage. After returning home, Su Dongpo proudly mentioned this matter to his sister. Su Xiaomei said: \”Brother, you are wrong. Buddhism says that \’Buddha\’s heart appears by itself\’. What you see in others means what you see in yourself.\” Such as Rabindranath Tagore As the saying goes, we see the world wrong and say it deceives us. Just like a child, lively and restless and disobeying discipline. Parents and teachers who are receptive will feel that their children are energetic, curious and have their own ideas. This is a good thing. Parents and teachers with poor acceptance will feel that their children are not sensible and disobedient and are beyond their control. Not a good thing. When you are in a good mood, even if the child is acting up and rolling around, you will find it excusable. This is the nature of children. When the child is in a bad mood, even if the child causes a little trouble, he will get angry and feel that the child is not worried. Children are always like this sometimes and sometimes like that. There are no absolute advantages and disadvantages. Besides, the advantages and disadvantages are not static. Because your mood and cognition are different, you give it different meanings. Parents who are satisfied with themselves can always discover the advantages of their children. Parents who are critical of themselves can always find the shortcomings of their children. It has something to do with children, and more to do with self-awareness. Everything in the world has its reason and meaning. Your mentality, your cognition, your environment, education level, personality traits, attitudes and concepts determine to a certain extent how you feel about the world, others, work, and family. If you feel that everything is unsatisfactory, you can only start by changing yourself. First, start by changing the perspective of looking at the problem.