You urge him, yell at him, or even want to kick him, but you don\’t know that the child is already sweating, injured, and trying his best…

The scene of \”children dawdling, adults urging\” has been played out countless times in many families. Parents often lose their temper because of their children\’s carelessness, only to regret it later. Some people say that on the road of educating children, flowers bloom wherever the parents’ hearts are. I deeply agree. The child procrastinates and dawdles in doing things, has a bad temper, and likes to talk back to his parents. You urge him, yell at him, or even want to kick him… but you don\’t know that the child is already sweating and injured. Faced with the various frictions of our children, we must not lose control, but must calm down and stabilize ourselves. Parents who can stabilize themselves have their own light, illuminating their children and themselves. Only in this way can we truly understand the essence of education. This essence is \”three points of teaching, seven points of teaching, etc.\” Educator Dr. Montessori said: Every child has a program. What kind of issues he should understand at a certain age are actually fixed; you cannot force it, and excessive human interference will only destroy him. Dilly-dallying? The child is not intentional, but we are too impatient on the road to parenting. The more calm you are, the smarter the child will be. However, many parents cannot bear to see their children dawdling and urge them to do everything. As long as you feel that your child cannot keep up with the pace of your own requirements, you will label your child as \”dilly-dallying\”. But few parents figure it out: Is it the child who is dawdling, or do you think he is slower? Children\’s life rhythm and circadian rhythm are inherently different from adults. They eat slower than adults and wash slower than adults… This is really not that children are deliberately dilly-dallying, but that this is their ability. In the \”slow\” world, children\’s growth wisdom is hidden. Unlike adults, all children before the age of 5 are immersed in \”living in the present\”. They experience slowly, repeat slowly, explore slowly, and develop their various abilities slowly. Therefore, judging whether a child is dawdling should not be based on the parent\’s pace. The real criterion should be the speed of children of the same age. The French thinker Rousseau wrote in \”Emile\”: \”Nature wants children to be like children before they become adults. If we disrupt this order, it will cause some premature fruits that will not grow as long as they grow. Plump, not sweet either. \”So, stop urging your child, as long as he behaves like most of his peers, that\’s enough. But what should you do if your child\’s performance is significantly lower than that of his peers, and he is procrastinating in doing things? Here are a few tips that parents can learn from: one-minute special training; stop urging and insist on praising; let the children freely use the time saved; train from living habits; stop immediately if the specified time is not completed. Education is a long process. If you want your children to stop dawdling, parents must try to slow down the pace with their children and accept each other. Because the purpose of education is not to fill the bucket, but to ignite the fire and grow with the children according to their natural rhythm. Rebellious? Every child rebels, and it\’s good to start When is the most maddening time to raise a child? Children have to confront you about everything, which I think is the biggest headache for parents. In fact, this cannot be blamed on the child. At this time, he is going through three stages in his life.A rebellious period. It is easy for parents to characterize children in these three age groups as \”naughty\” and \”rebellious\”; but in fact, this is a process that children must go through when growing up. The first rebellious period: the terrible two-year-old phenomenon. Children around the age of 2 will experience the first rebellious period in their lives. There is a special word in English called \”Terrible Two\”, which is translated into Chinese as \”terrible two years old\”. You will find that the originally well-behaved and sensible little angel transformed into an angry bird overnight. If you are not satisfied at all, you will throw things, roll around, and often put words such as \”don\’t\” and \”I want\” on your words. Around the mouth. Why is this so? In fact, when a child is born, he has no concept of self and is integrated with the world. But after 2-3 years old, children go through a sensitive period of self-awareness and can distinguish the difference between \”yours\” and \”mine\”; they like to say \”no\”, insist on their own ideas, and do not like help from others. At this time, you will feel that the child is stubborn, stubborn, and even a little unreasonable. The second rebellious period: a 7-year-old \”little adult\” who loves to sing the opposite tune. 7-9 years old is the stage when children transition from toddlers to teenagers. After entering the primary school stage, children have learned a lot of knowledge and have a strong sense of independence. From the bottom of their hearts, they feel that they are a big child and no longer a child. This \”little adult\” will try his best to break away from his parents\’ control and contradict his parents everywhere. At this age, children have a stronger sense of self-esteem and want to challenge various rules everywhere. They will especially talk back to their parents\’ interference and yelling in protest. The third rebellious period: the anxiety and restlessness of adolescence at the age of 12. After the age of 12, children\’s bodies have undergone earth-shaking changes, their thinking and understanding have become increasingly mature, and they have their own opinions. Children at this stage will exhibit varying degrees of \”deviant behavior\” based on issues such as personality development, family environment, and psychological and physiological development. Children not only hope to be recognized by others, but also fear encountering negation, and appear sensitive, suspicious, and sentimental. Adolescent children have begun to change in the direction of adults. He needs respect, a little space and secrets of his own, and needs to be treated democratically by his parents. At this time, if parents continue to use the same methods to control children, they will definitely resist, resist, and become rebellious. Rebellion is not a child\’s problem, nor is it a problem that cannot be solved. For a child\’s growth, rebellion is only temporary. Only after experiencing the struggle and pain of the rebellious period will the child slowly mature. When facing children who are in the rebellious period, parents must control their emotions and have enough patience to understand their children\’s behavior and true inner needs. Use your love to tolerate him, protect him, and guide him out of this \”dark period\” in his life. Make a mistake? Don’t be eager to criticize, and give your children more opportunities to try and make mistakes. After children make mistakes, the disciplinary measures parents often use are nothing more than the following: blaming or reprimanding, sarcasm or sarcasm, standing or corporal punishment. Even if you scold and punish, the child will make the same mistake next time. Why doesn\’t your punishment work for the child? When a child makes a mistake, our first reaction is not toInstead of scolding the child, squat down and ask the child what happened just now. Understand what the child really thinks and why he does what he does? After children make mistakes, they often dare not tell the truth due to fear. If parents severely reprimand them, they will not know why their children do what they do. When a child makes a mistake, parents must calm down, calm the child\’s emotions first, and ask him how he plans to deal with the matter. \”What are you going to do? Do you need my help?\” From the child\’s statement, parents can also find out what the child\’s needs are through the child\’s behavior, and the child\’s motivation for doing so will be clear at a glance. For some insignificant mistakes, parents should not rush to criticize their children and let them explore boldly. It’s not terrible to make mistakes on the way to growth, but it’s the most terrible thing if you don’t even have the opportunity to “try and make mistakes.” Even if it is wrong, meaningless, and worthless from an adult perspective, as long as the child is not in physical danger, please wait and let the child try and make mistakes. Educating children is like taking a snail for a walk. We urged him, bluffed him, blamed him, pulled him, pulled him, and even wanted to kick him, but we ignored the child and tried our best like a snail. When we slow down, we find that our children are still so kind at heart and their love for us is still so deep. You might as well be patient, slow down, and feel every bit of your child\’s growth and progress.