Your child loses his temper with you? This is a good thing

When a child loses his temper, parents can make a judgment. Is the child\’s tantrum really related to me? A mother discovered that her daughter had been in a very depressed mood recently, and after returning home, she silently walked into the bedroom. When it was time to eat, the mother called her daughter many times before she slowly walked out of the bedroom. The mother was a little angry and said a few words to her daughter. Unexpectedly, the child got angry all of a sudden and shouted at his mother: Are you annoyed? I won\’t eat it! That night, my daughter seemed to be angry and refused to eat. As an adult, you must have had the experience that you are upset about something, and at this moment, a small thing that is not usually likely to anger you may make you furious. The same goes for children. And it will be more difficult for your children to control their \”angry at others\” behavior than it is for you. If the root cause of your child\’s tantrum is not you, parents only need to do two things. Point one: tell him how you feel without blaming him. If your child gets angry at you, you can tell them: I don\’t like it when you talk to me like that. The second point: provide him with a possibility to talk. After the child calms down, parents can talk to the child about the incident. If your child doesn\’t want to talk, there\’s no need to force it. When parents do this, children will feel that their parents are understanding, are more willing to share their problems with their parents, and are more likely to listen to their parents\’ suggestions. If a child\’s tantrums are related to their parents, there are often two reasons. First, they didn\’t get what they wanted; second, they didn\’t get the attention they wanted. When a child gets angry because he can\’t get something, he is actually fighting for his own interests and safeguarding his rights. This is not a bad thing. Parents cannot and should not satisfy all their children\’s needs, but they cannot deprive their children of their right to express their needs. In this way, children can have the confidence to express what they want after leaving the family. Although parents cannot meet all their children\’s needs, they can help their children sort out their emotions. I once saw a boy crying while eating ice cream in a shopping mall. His mother said angrily beside him: Why are you crying after I bought it for you? Obviously, the little boy wanted an ice cream cone, but his mother didn\’t agree at first. He cried and clamored to buy it, and finally got it. But why is he still crying? Because when a child is overwhelmed by \”anger\”, what he needs most is not that thing, but the empathy of his parents. Once, when my niece was shopping with us, she saw a dress. Her mother refused to buy it because she already had two sets of this dress. She was depressed for a long time at first. I started crying when I passed that store again, I must buy it. The people accompanying me couldn\’t stand it, and some even wanted to buy it as a gift to their niece. But her mother firmly refused and said to her little niece: You feel sad if I don’t buy you this dress, right? The little niece sobbed and nodded. Her mother said: \”Well, can you let me stay with you for a while and let the other aunts go shopping first?\” The little niece stopped crying immediately and said: No, I want to go shopping too. When you refuse to give your child somethingBy this time, he already knew that his expectations might not be met. They continue to lose their temper because they are temporarily unable to get over their frustration. At this time they need help from adults to guide their emotions. The best way to guide emotions is to help children express the true emotions behind their anger—frustration, sadness, sadness, feeling unfair, etc. Sometimes children throw tantrums because they don\’t get the attention they want. After adolescence, some parents will find that their children are becoming more and more \”rebellious\” and their relationship with them is becoming more and more distant. Is it really because the children have entered adolescence that they are estranged from their parents? Not really. Children and parents take a total of four steps from closeness to alienation. Step one: get anxious and start protesting. For example, if the mother is chatting with others and neglects the child, he will yell at the mother, \”Mom, look at me!\” When children feel that their intimate relationship is threatened, or that the person who should give them attention does not give them attention, the child will feel anxious and lose his temper with the person to attract their attention. If parents never respond to their children\’s needs, the children will enter the second step and become clingy. At this stage, children will be more clinging to their parents than in the past. Sometimes children follow their parents wherever they are and never leave their parents for a moment. If parents do not respond to the child\’s needs, he will enter the third step, depression, and despair. At this time, the child will become depressed and interact less and less with his parents. Some children will become angry before becoming desperate, deliberately behave badly to attract their parents\’ attention, or even threaten to run away from home, etc. If parents do not understand that their children need attention at this time, their relationship will enter the fourth step – alienation. Children will avoid interacting with their parents, completely shut themselves off from their parents, and make friends with those they think \”understand\” them. After entering this step, the relationship between parents and children is already difficult to restore. This process often lasts for many years before entering the third or fourth step. So when parents find that their children are rebellious and unable to communicate, they have missed the opportunity to take steps in the first or second step. When a child loses his temper because he does not receive enough attention, parents can reflect on whether they have \”ignored\” the child\’s emotions, whether they should pay more attention to the child, and whether they should spend more time with the child. So whether your child loses his temper with you is a good thing or a bad thing, the key depends on what you do.