Your inappropriate love may become a cage that limits your child’s development

When I was at work, my colleague answered the phone and heard him patiently say: \”It\’s okay. I just bought it a few days ago and he will definitely replace it.\” The other person didn\’t know what he said, but the colleague continued: \”Just change it to something similar. You don’t have to worry about it, I’ll just contact him.” We looked at each other and smiled, this was to coax our girlfriend. After hanging up the phone, another colleague joked: \”What a warm man, he is so patient in coaxing girls.\” The colleague complained to us and said, \”You are not coaxing girls, you are coaxing my mother!\” After listening to what he said, I realized that he had been coaxing him since he was a child. My mother loves to rely on him for everything. She peels garlic and takes out the garbage. Even when she goes shopping, she says she is too tired and asks him to carry her bag. Now that she has grown up, she discusses everything with him. No, one of the chairs in the newly purchased furniture was defective, and he had to negotiate for a replacement. \”You said that my mother was also a class teacher at school and was in charge of thirty or forty students in the class, but she became a little girl when she came to my place.\” A colleague complained helplessly. \”Then you have to thank your mother, she is training you!\” I generally understood the mother\’s painstaking efforts. She has been in contact with too many students and is familiar with children\’s psychology. She should know the harmful effects of excessive pampering on children, so she has learned to show weakness. Give children space to grow freely and opportunities to exercise, so as to cultivate their independent character. Although this colleague has only been with the company for a year, he takes the initiative at work and is not afraid of hardship, dirty work, or fatigue. He will soon be able to take charge of his own role and become an important member of the office. If you are spoiled and willful because of your family\’s favorable conditions, it may be difficult to adapt to work so quickly. Every child is a gift from God to their parents, and parents all hope to give their children the best love. But loving a child does not mean raising the child in the palm of your hand, protecting him from all wind and rain from the outside world, and helping him remove all obstacles on the road to growth. True love is to help children grow into optimistic, positive, hard-working, and stress-resistant children. When they were young, they faced small setbacks by themselves. As they grow up, the child\’s heart and stress-resistant abilities will change. Enhance bit by bit. Even in the face of relatively big setbacks, children have a high adversity quotient. They are positive and optimistic, face difficulties head-on, and get out of trouble. So to a certain extent, whether a child is independent or not is also related to the child\’s happiness. Children who have known since childhood that life is full of ups and downs know that life has not only sunshine but also storms. Fortunately, they have developed the ability to protect themselves since they were young, so they can handle it with ease. However, if a child hides in his parents\’ haven since he was a child, out of the wind and out of the rain, and having everything he wants, he will grow up to be old-fashioned and have no idea when things happen. When life encountered difficulties, he discovered that life was not a smooth road, but full of bumps and valleys, but he did not have the ability or courage to deal with it, so he felt timid. The son of a relative of mine is getting divorced recently. The reason is that the daughter-in-law dislikes his son\’s lack of independent opinions and always consults his mother about everything at home. I am familiar with the son of a relative. His family has a strong mother and a father who doesn’t care about anything except making money. Growing up in this kind of family environment, he has no independent opinion and dare not make the decision in everything, even outside. When buying a piece of clothing, I have to call my mother to ask what color looks good. in oursWhen talking about things during meals, he often hears his son say, \”My mother said it, my mother said it.\” And as time goes by or as soon as it gets dark, he will receive a call from his mother, urging him to go home quickly. , he will go home immediately. There is a popular term nowadays called \”Mama\’s boy\”, which is perfect for him. But after entering into a marriage, what a woman needs is someone who can share the joys and sorrows with her, but the mama\’s boy is weak and incompetent, so such a marriage is destined to be even more precarious. Parents should take a long-term view and not think that loving their children means they can do everything for their children. So, what kind of parenting style should we advocate? It’s not pampering, and certainly not letting it go and alienating the child, but caring appropriately and letting go appropriately. Involving children in housework and taking on housework can make children feel needed and enhance their sense of responsibility. Fathers should be involved in accompanying their children every step of the way. Compared with the delicate and emotional maternal love, father\’s love is more rational and rough, and can help children become more courageous and responsible. Let go appropriately and let the children face the small difficulties, tasks, and conflicts in life, so that the children can grow while solving each difficulty one by one. This does not conflict with loving children. Only by teaching children life skills can they be more adaptable to social survival.