Your lack of self-discipline is ruining your children

I once watched an interview show. The interviewee, Wu Min (pseudonym), was a divorced woman with an irregular lifestyle, heavy drinking, and severe obesity. She weighed nearly 300 pounds in her early 30s. She originally had a good job in a hospital. After the divorce, she felt emotionally traumatized and was fired from her job because she had no intention of working. With her lover gone and her job lost, she began to give up on herself, overeating and drinking all day long to drown her sorrows. During the day, he would sleep hard at home, and when night fell, he would go out to various drinking establishments. He would not stop drinking until two or three in the morning, and after drinking, he would continue to go home and fall asleep. For several years, Wu Min lived a life of confusion, sleeping around the clock and going out at night. She had no job and no income, and relied on her parents\’ meager pension to support herself. She has a daughter who is in the fourth grade of primary school and lives with her grandparents on weekdays. On weekends, I would go to my grandma’s house to get together with my mother. At this time, Wu Min was not only not at home with her daughter, but also took her to and from wine bars. Wu Min was drinking with friends, and her daughter would sit and eat and drink, watch TV, or watch the adults drinking, chatting, and getting drunk… When she got sleepy, she would lie on the table and sleep. Only when the party was over, her mother would lead her bleary-eyed daughter. The daughter comes home. The host asked: \”Have you never thought that this would be bad for your daughter?\” \”I didn\’t think so at first, so why don\’t I just go out for a meal! By the time I feel bad, it\’s already too late.\” Wu Min said. It turns out that under the influence of her mother, her daughter also fell in love with the life of staying in the pub during the day and going out at night. When weekends come, she yells at her mother to take her out to eat and drink. When she doesn\’t agree, she loses her temper, bursts into tears, and refuses to listen to anyone\’s advice. Due to the influence of unhealthy lifestyles such as eating and drinking without restraint and staying up late for a long time, the 11-year-old child weighed 180 pounds. Obesity has caused a series of life obstacles and psychological problems in children, such as low self-esteem, bad temper, extreme personality, and unwillingness to interact with others. Wu Min knew that his lifestyle was extremely unhealthy and abnormal, but he did not restrain himself and did not understand self-discipline. This not only caused harm to himself, but also seriously affected and harmed his children. My friend Lin also hurt her child because of her lack of self-discipline, and now she regrets it. Lin is a standard mobile phone addict. She is inseparable from her mobile phone every minute of her life. She uses it every day to check Moments, grab red envelopes, chat, and watch TV dramas. She can\’t bear to put it down even when breastfeeding her child. When Lin\’s son was less than six months old, he knew how to snatch a mobile phone from his mother and use it as a toy. Sometimes Lin is in high spirits watching TV dramas, or becomes even more addicted to grabbing red envelopes. In order to prevent her son from crying and affecting her, she just hugs him and plays with him. When he first learned to walk, when he saw his mother lying on the sofa playing with her mobile phone, the little guy would swagger to her side and grab it. Then he would imitate his mother and lie down on the sofa, holding the mobile phone and enjoying himself. At less than two years old, the little guy has become as obsessed with mobile phones as his mother. I have to look at my phone when I eat every day, and I have to sleep with my phone in my arms when I sleep. Holding the phone all day long, watching cartoons, playing games, making phone calls… As soon as Lin takes it away, the child will cry, fuss, and roll all over the floor! Seeing this situation, Lin restrained herself in front of her son and only stayed up late to play after her son went to bed. But the result of staying up late is that she always feels sleepy during the day. In order not to let her son disturb her sleep, she often throws her cell phone to him. Lin\’s son is four years old this year.Because I played with my mobile phone for a long time, not only did I have poor eyesight, but I was also not very gregarious in kindergarten. The teacher said that the child\’s language development level was much lower than that of his peers. Like Wu Min, both Lin and Wu Min were unable to control themselves and did not understand self-discipline. They knew that their actions would have adverse effects and consequences on their children, but they allowed the situation to develop, causing extremely serious physical and psychological disorders to their children. If we no longer have strict requirements on ourselves, these bad behaviors of parents will completely destroy their children. The famous marshmallow experiment conducted by Walter Mischel, a professor of psychology at Stanford University, concluded that children who have self-discipline are more likely to succeed, while those who do not understand self-discipline will just go down the road of success. A path that runs counter to them. The book \”The Road Less Traveled\” also points out that the primary solution to life\’s problems is self-discipline. Only complete self-discipline can solve all problems. Therefore, parents should cultivate their children\’s self-discipline ability from an early age. And a parent who doesn\’t understand self-discipline will never be able to cultivate a child with self-discipline. Parents are not self-disciplined and have no requirements for themselves. They live an unchanging life without any improvement for several years or even more than ten years. But they keep telling their children, I will be like this for the rest of my life. You must not imitate me. You must be promising. Have zero requirements for yourself and high requirements for your children. If you don’t know how to restrain and restrain bad habits, you don’t want to work hard to cultivate good habits, and you can’t give your children a good influence and example, how can you make your children successful? The book \”The Road Less Traveled\” also says that if parents lack self-discipline, it is impossible for their children to understand what self-improvement is. In order for children to develop a sense of self-discipline and trust in a sense of security, parents must lead by example. Parents rely on a strong spirit of self-discipline and continue to change and grow, which is the best education for their children. Wen Youjun completely changed his life and that of his son through self-discipline and persistence. Jun is a stay-at-home mother. She has given up everything for ten years and only focused on her son, hoping to bring her up. Unfortunately, you only asked your son to make great progress every day, but you forgot that you were always standing still. As the child grew older, Jun discovered that his son was not only mediocre in all aspects, but also extremely lacking in ambition. There seems to be a serious imbalance between years of effort and reward. After being slapped in the face by reality, Jun often complained that his son was not good here and that he was not good there. As a result, his son became more and more rebellious and the parent-child relationship became increasingly tense. Until one day, the mother and son had another conflict. My son yelled, you can’t do anything, why are you talking about me? At this point, Jun realized that he was vulgar, numb and unprogressive, and could no longer lead his children\’s growth spiritually. No matter how much you pay for him in life, the child will not have much future. After learning from the painful experience, Jun began to change himself. She first insisted on long-distance running and practicing yoga, losing 40 pounds in a year, and transformed from a bloated fat person into a goddess of temperament. Later, I enrolled in a writing class, regained my childhood hobbies and dreams, and started reading and writing. Not only did I earn royalties, but I also made many like-minded friends and broadened my horizons. You become better and better at sports, reading, writing, and making friends. Mom’s countless morning exercises andThe figure of reading at night deeply infected and influenced my son. People can empower each other, especially parents and children. Full of positive energy will only make children better and better. Under Jun\’s influence and guidance, his son\’s academic performance has continued to improve, and he has become more and more motivated. Even the school teachers called you to ask what \”magic pill\” you used to make your child improve so much. Jun came to the conclusion that only when parents grow, children will grow. Hunan Satellite TV\’s family tradition program \”My Son Travels a Thousand Miles\” once aired the story of He Jiang, a postdoctoral fellow at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology in the United States. The He family\’s parents, who come from a remote rural area, are not highly educated. One has not graduated from high school and the other has not graduated from elementary school. However, they have trained their two sons to become talents. In particular, the eldest son He Jiang attracted world attention when he gave a speech at the Harvard University graduation ceremony as an outstanding graduate. According to He\’s father, when others chose to go out to work and improve their lives, they chose to stay with their children. When others spend their free time playing cards to kill time, they choose to read with their children, tell them stories, talk about the principles of life, and talk about the benefits of learning. I also competed with my children to see who could sit at the desk longer. Dad He said that instead of playing cards, he sat down and read a book, not because he liked it, but because he wanted to set a good example for his children. The famous American writer Albert Hubbard said that self-discipline is to do what you should do when you should do it, whether you like it or not. Just like the He family\’s parents, they know that only children who study can be successful. Even if they don\’t like it, they insist on accompanying their children with a strong spirit of self-discipline. Their self-discipline gives their children a bright future. Tolstoy said that the essence of educating children lies in educating yourself, and self-education is the most powerful way for parents to influence their children. Parents are the earliest enlightenment teachers for their children in everything they say and do in life. Parents who are not self-disciplined will destroy their children. Only self-disciplined parents can lead by example and teach by precepts and deeds to cultivate promising children. If you want your children to learn self-discipline, parents must first set an example and be strict with themselves; if you want your children not to be addicted to games, you must first put down your mobile phones; if you want your children to read more, you must first develop a reading habit. If you want your children to study well, you must first work hard and be proactive; if you want your children to keep your promises, you must first keep your word and keep your word. As parents, only by continuously strengthening the power of one\’s own growth can we become a source of strength for our children\’s growth.​