Yu Minhong: How to educate children well is your lifelong career

\”Adolescence: Education, Development, and Health of Adolescents.\” This book was written by Stanley Hall, who is considered the father of adolescent psychology. This is an encyclopedic guide to puberty. The author provides a comprehensive, detailed, unique and insightful explanation of the physical development, mental growth and will cultivation of adolescents, and develops a set of effective systematic methods and technical means to help children solve various problems encountered in adolescence. During the morning reading on July 27, a reader asked what should I do if my child is about to enter the first grade of junior high school, but loves to contradict the teacher, takes things for granted, and cannot get along peacefully with his classmates? Thanks to this reader for his companionship and trust, today we will try to find the answer to the question in this book. ①『Characteristics of Adolescence』 \”Without investigation, there is no right to speak.\” We all know at work that the prerequisite for solving problems is: understanding. Parents should also follow this principle when dealing with their children\’s adolescence. Physiologically, the years from 8 to 12 years old are the most unique stage in a child\’s life. For most children, the teething period has ended, their brains have gradually matured, their size and weight are almost the same as those of adults, and their health is almost at its best. As a result, their activity level has increased significantly, their endurance is extraordinary, and they never seem to tire. Even when they are pinned down on the bed by adults during lunch break, they are still staring at the ceiling. Psychologically, they have difficulty concentrating and therefore respond little to the outside world. Their comprehension, understanding, interests and feelings are only in the formative stage and are still in their infancy compared with adults. At maturity, they are highly perceptive and aware, able to protect themselves from cold, hunger, and ulterior temptations. However, their reasoning skills, moral sense, compassion, empathy, and appreciation of beauty are still weak. The above-mentioned characteristics of adolescence determine that even if adults think it is the most sensible and reasonable, children will find it somewhat incomprehensible. They will interpret those requirements or principles as: authoritarian, restrictive and pretentious. Then they will actively resist or escape. Even when facing parents. ② \”Wrong Concept\” When it comes to solving children\’s problems, the most important thing is for parents not to get into trouble first. You must know that even a child who usually performs well will sometimes be a little bold and challenge authority. Being disobedient, rebellious, disobedient, and unsociable from a certain perspective marks the birth of his independent instinct and self-awareness. This is a good thing because it is the foundation for children to face the world independently. At this time, there are two things that parents must avoid doing. 001 Reason comes first. \”If you don\’t study hard, how can you afford your family?\” \”How hard did your parents work to support you in school?\” Similar preaching is just a burden to children. Due to their limited experience, children\’s minds are immature. When exposed to various opinions from their parents, they become irritated or fall into logical confusion. Therefore, if parents insist on being reasonable, the content must be concise and clear, and the attitude must be correct and serious. 002 Establish authority. Parents are used to establishing authority when their children make mistakes. Children are always expected to respect and obey unconditionally. But when they ask, “Why?\”When asked, most parents\’ answers become: \”You don\’t understand yet. \”You must know that adolescent children will only recognize and respect these principles when they think that these principles come from a higher level of wisdom than themselves. Therefore, if parents do not do a good job, children will easily be disobedient and will not take seriously their parents\’ preaching. ③ \”Accompanying Him Through Puberty\” Research shows that children will undergo another change between the ages of 12 and 16, but this change is very long and will take several years to complete, and the child\’s temperament will gradually become stable. Therefore, The company of their parents is extremely important. During this period, they long for friendship, recognition and respect, and the corresponding excessive behaviors may be: contradicting the teacher, taking things for granted, and being unable to get along peacefully with their classmates. If it is not too outrageous, these are just ways for them to satisfy their desires. Parents must not amplify their influence. A \”completely obedient\” life may not be good for their future. After all, the rules of the game in society are completely different from those in school. 001 Lead by example. When it comes to children\’s problems, parents should not look outward. , just look at whether this is bad or bad for the child, you must first ask yourself whether you have done it. Children’s extreme behavior can be reflected in their parents. Only when parents establish a positive and strong image in front of their children can children refer to it. Study. 002 Give space. \”Rebellion\” is just a small twist in the child\’s growth. Parents should give him some space and accompany him to face problems. After a long time, he can still regain his composure unscathed. If his spirit is Imagine the world is a road, and his \”rebellious behavior\” is to widen the road. When the mood eases, he will walk more calmly on the road ahead. 003 Spiritual coordinates. Children\’s impetuousness, irritability, and unfriendliness come from a weak sense of control. Parents\’ preaching undoubtedly adds fuel to the fire. A better coping strategy is: telling stories. Tell stories about celebrities and great people overcoming difficulties, such as Lin Zexu controlling anger, Edison\’s trial and error, Ronaldo practicing, etc. Give children a spirit Coordinates, let him understand that he is not the only one who will encounter difficulties, thereby increasing his confidence in overcoming problems. To sum up, the best education for children is to grow together. Many problems that appear to be children actually come from their parents. Before disciplining children, you must first We must correct our own misconceptions and practices, and use correct methods to help our children lay a solid foundation for the future during their prime youth.