Yu Minhong talks to Li Meijin: Who is the most important teacher in children’s enlightenment education?

What kind of education is a good education? What kind of parents make good parents? What kind of parenting can prepare children for the future? Perhaps no single answer can give the answer. Because every family, every parent, every child is completely different. What we as parents have to do is to accompany our children to find a path of growth and development that is suitable for them. Today\’s article is compiled from the live broadcast of \”Yu Minhong Dialogue with Li Meijin: Talking about Being a Teacher\”. I believe that this collision of wisdom can bring us more enlightenment. Parents should be their children’s first teachers. Li Meijin: Teachers in school are only part of the equation. When everyone grows up, parents are our first teachers. He goes to school at the age of 6. Before the age of 6, he is educated by his parents, and by the age of 60, the thoughts of his parents must still continue in his children. Yu Minhong: Of course, teachers are parents first, and some of the moral qualities of each person must be related to their parents. Li Meijin: I remember a CCTV host asked me, what do you think the problem of criminal psychology is in one sentence? I told him that he just didn’t have a sense of awe. What I want to say is that if a person is cultivated and moral, he will not use any means to infringe on others in the face of desires, conflicts and other matters. Yu Minhong: Do you think that cultivating moral character is what parents bring to their children from childhood, right? Recommended literacy book for young children: Chinese characters are drawn electronic versions pdf+epub+mobi+azw3 Li Meijin: Yes! Crime has nothing to do with knowledge. Why do some people commit crimes if they are full of knowledge? Some people are uneducated and can be useful to society. The focus is on family. Parents are very good teachers and the most important teachers for their children\’s life enlightenment. Yu Minhong: Cultivation of moral character is a kind of inertial thinking that children develop on their own under the guidance of their parents’ words and behavioral examples from childhood. My parents taught me that suffering is a blessing since I was a child. When sharing things with others, you must give more to others and take less for yourself. When I was a child, I felt that it was quite a loss, but later it really played a big role in my life and career. Li Meijin: Especially yes, family education is especially important! If the parents are reasonable, the children are in one category; if the parents never suffer, the children are in another category; if the parents are submissive, the children are in another category. There is another category that has a great impact on children, that is, the parents are very good, but the children are terrible. A very important reason is that parents do not spend time growing up with their children. The biggest change in a person\’s life is before the age of 6. Parents must grow up with their children. Before the age of 6, how to educate your children is very important. What is very important at this stage is: first, you have to appear in front of him and give him a kind of trust. Second, all the ways parents deal with things are the first lessons in their children\’s life. I was recently watching \”The Courtyard of Love\”, in which there is a mother with three children. This mother has many characteristics. First, be able to handle everything with a calm temperament. Second, she thinks about others in everything she does. Therefore, her three children are all very sensible, and they are the most sensible ones in this courtyard. Yu Minhong: I emphasized in a speech before that it is important for mothers to handle things calmly.So does my father. Li Meijin: When a child is weak, parents should set an example for him to behave calmly. At the same time, you should also be dignified. This is a very high level for a parent. As the first teacher in a child\’s life, he must give both kindness and power before the child is 6 years old. Be gracious, accompany him and take care of him when he needs you. At the same time, it should also be authoritative, letting him know that when he grows up, while I meet your needs, you must also consider my needs. Yu Minhong: Yes, let children pay attention to their parents\’ emotions from an early age, rather than having their parents blindly revolve around them. Li Meijin: A person’s enlightenment before the age of 6 is very important. If a person’s enlightenment is done well before the age of 6, even if he has no knowledge later, he will be a very good person. Yu Minhong: I completely agree with you. As the old Chinese saying goes, \”Look at the young when you are 3 years old, and look at the old when you are 7 years old.\” If the child\’s character, personality, and emotions are developed and improved in childhood, then the child\’s academic performance will not be too bad, and the child will go in a relatively correct direction. Li Meijin: When raising children, you need to do two things before they are 6 years old. The first is to enable children to feel other people\’s emotions and understand others. Secondly, you must know the rules and know how to look. Raising children is the shared responsibility of both father and mother. Yu Minhong: How did you fall in love with studying when school order was not normal at that time? Li Meijin: I should thank my parents for this. My father and mother both worked in the printing factory, and they would often bring back some books. My father also liked to write. My mother would often tell me some truths and ask me to keep a diary. This became my first inspiration for literature. Li Meijin: Later, the college entrance examination was resumed. I didn’t want to take the college entrance examination. My mother said, “No, you have to take the college entrance examination.” Therefore, my life was laid out by my mother. Yu Minhong: I think of my mother. The old lady just celebrated her 90th birthday last week and she already has Alzheimer\’s disease. I take care of them personally and say hello every morning and evening. Li Meijin: This is a very important basic education for a teacher. Yu Minhong: Yes, when my two children see me being nice to the old lady, they will say: \”Dad, when you get older, we will also push you around in a wheelchair.\” Li Meijin: That\’s great, so happy. . Yu Minhong: My mother has suffered from being uneducated since she was a child. She has always wanted me to grow up to be an educated person. My mother has asked me to read more books when I have time since I was a child. She didn\’t know what was written in the book, but as long as it was a book, it was good. Li Meijin: When I was in college, I especially liked to read biographies. I found that many celebrities, such as Mao Zedong, Zhou Enlai, and Lincoln, many successful people were deeply influenced by their mothers. I think mother not only gives birth and nurtures us, she is actually a very important person. How a child develops depends on the mother\’s attitude and efforts. Yu Minhong: This is one of the reasons why I have repeatedly emphasized the importance of mothers in the growth of children. Li Meijin: There is another problem. Many women talk about the absence of fathers when their children are growing up. Fathers are also important in raising children. If a mother takes care of her child alone, problems can easily arise. When a mother becomes a father and a mother at the same time, the child will lose her tenderness and patience; the father willIf you don\’t care, children will easily lose the characteristics of men who don\’t care. Yu Minhong: The role of the father in the growth of a child cannot be underestimated. Mothers may spend more time with their children, which has a greater impact on their emotions, personality, emotions, work logic, and study habits. Li Meijin: There must be one person among parents who is thoughtful and independent. This person can be the mother or the father. In such a family, it may be a father who talks a lot to his children, or it may be a mother who very firmly tells the children what they must do. Although mothers are more often responsible for taking care of their children, fathers should also bring to their children the way they deal with problems and their attitude toward their mothers. If you want your children to be confident, you must take action. Yu Minhong: Netizens have a few questions, I hope you can answer them. First, how to cultivate children\’s self-confidence? Li Meijin: In the early days of human beings, we fought with sticks and knives, both of which were action-based. The same goes for people. Children\’s growth also progresses from lower levels to higher levels. What is low-level is the movement of the limbs. If you want your child to regain his confidence, first take him to do things. For example, do a sport, throw, jump, stack cardboard boxes, build blocks, draw, etc. Use \”doing\” to let children find confidence. Yu Minhong: It makes sense. I just met a doctor yesterday. He said that children should be allowed to jump around when they are fine, and should be allowed to run around and move more, including doing some handicraft activities. Li Meijin: When children are young, handicrafts, painting, building blocks, and learning needlework are all very important. This is why we often talk about dexterity, because finger movements are very important for brain development. Yu Minhong: So we can also say \”dexterity of hands and mind\” in reverse. Because you let him practice his manual skills, his brain reaction speed may be faster. So whatever my children want to do, I will actively encourage them to do it. If your child is bullied, do these two things well. Yu Minhong: We have two final questions. The first one is that students are bullied at school. Should parents stand up for their children? How can they have the least impact on their children? The second one is about a girl who has just entered third grade and is often bullied by boys because she is thin. The child does not dare to tell her mother what to do when she comes home. How do we deal with this kind of school violence? Li Meijin: Usually this kind of thing happens in junior high school, because at this stage of growth, when children are approaching adulthood, they will have a competitive mentality, that is, to distinguish who is more powerful. If your child is bullied in middle school, it means that you did not let your child keep fit in primary school. A child who is good at sports will run away if he can\’t win, but if he can run away, will people still bother to chase you? First, if you want to prevent your children from being bullied, no matter whether they are boys or girls, you should start practicing in elementary school and have the ability to fight back. Second, to make friends, especially in a new environment, you must let him make friends. This way your child will not be alone, and will have friends to help him out when someone bullies him. Li Meijin: Parents, don’t think about how you can help your children fight. This is the worst situation. When your child conflicts with other children and you appear in front of them, you must first realize that they are both children and you are the adult.In the process of negotiating with the other parent, no matter what level the other parent is, we as adults cannot vent our anger on the children. In front of minors, you must always treat them as children. We should use adult wisdom, not adult strength, to deal with problems.